<BR>Hey! Don't think I've ever posted to you but I read your post on the MB marriage thread. Just wanted you to know that I know exactly how you feel!<P>I, too, spent 10 1/2 yrs with an abusive H. He also treated me AND my children worse than horrible. <P>I also stayed! I worked and worked on my marriage and if HE hadn't left, I'd still be with him and getting my A$$ kicked on a regular basis. I would still be stuck in a lousy environment and have literally no self-esteem. <P>Since he left, I have been raising 3 sons almost completely on my own since he has decided that child support isn't important. I have been working my first job ever for almost a year and have done quite well. But the best part is, I now have some sense of self-worth. I've learned who Mitzi is and I've realized what all I gave up to be his wife. <P>You do what you feel is right for you and your situation!!!<P>Mitzi

Mitzi:<P>Thank you. I am sorry you went through over a decade of pain. No one deserves to be mistreated. As you know, living in an abusive relationship does a number on your self-esteem. Fortunatly, I have always worked, so I didn't have as many self-esteem issues; at least not professional level. On a personal level yes; I was made to feel like I was inadequate in the looks department, the bedroom department...<P>Anyway, I am the one who filed for divorce. I just couldn't deal with anymore and I was seeing what my husband's behavior was doing to our two boys. Technically, my divorce should have been final in November. That is funny, since my H has thrown every obstacle known to man in the way...and its not because he loves me either. Love doesn't hurt and inflict pain and humiliation. He's doing it to be mean and vindictive.<P>Anyway, I'm glad you are doing well. I hope your three boys are doing well...<P>Thanks again for your support...it means a lot.<P>Susan<BR>

Susan,<P>My sons also suffered because of A$$. There were a few times I had to get between A$$ and my oldest son to keep him from hurting him. Not much of a life for kids and not the type of marriage that needs to be saved. <P>My sons are now doing as well as can be expected. My oldest, Kyle, is 11 and quite angry. He's also the greatest 11 yr old athlete! And is bigger than his mom, at 5'4 1/2" and 131 lbs. Am I proud of him?? YES!! My middle one, Dylan, is almost 9. He has a lot of difficulties at school because he can't seem to concentrate. He also cries alot because he misses his daddy. It breaks my heart but all I can do is be there for him. My youngest, Noah, just turned 4. He doesn't remember much about his daddy living with us, which I thank God for. At least one of my children was spared those painful memories. I'm doing my best and hopefully they'll grow to be outstanding young men. <P>I also filed for the divorce. But I didn't know that A$$ filed at almost exactly the same time. Ours should have been final in October, but he won't pay his lawyer to draw up the final paperwork and I can't afford to. I'm barely able to pay the utilities most months. But I manage as best as I can and try not to complain. I could still be with him! <P>Glad you and your sons are doing well!<P>Mitzi <P>