Hi folks,<P>I've been posting over in GQII and Recovery for the last few months, but now I belong over here I guess.<P>My story briefly:<P>I'm 10 years married, 3 kids. My H is an alcoholic. He began an EA in Nov/99 - I asked him to move out in March/00. His affair then became a PA. 2 weeks after I asked him to move out, I found I was pregnant. I filed for divorce last Oct/00. The baby was born Nov/00 and H decided a month later that he wanted to try and move back home and repair his marriage. So I left the divorce complaint in place, but did nothing while we started with Steve Harley, had about 6 sessions, then H quit. To make a long story short, H has been cruising the singles scene while we were in 'recovery' - I now know about at least 3 women he has dated in the last 2 months, and these are just the ones that fell in my lap. I wasn't snooping or checking.<P>This week Steve Harley said that there is nothing to be saved here right now while my H remains an alcoholic. He advised me to proceed with my divorce because even if my H were to do a complete turn around TODAY, it would be MONTHS before my H would be ready to participate in a marriage. And there's no sign of my H "getting it" as Steve said.<P>I called my lawyer yesterday and he told me that my complaint had just been dismissed without predjudice. Guess I have to start all over again.<P>I'm sorry I have to be here, but I'm sure glad you folks are here!!

Hi Rose,<P>Welcome to the divorced forum. I'm sorry you had to join us here. You will find a lot of help and meet a lot of great people over here.<P>I have 3 kids, was with my ex 11 years. He had a EA and PA and left on Xmas Day of '99. I found MB a few days later. I tried Plan A too and OW fought it hard. Eventually I got served D papers on Valentine's day and spent 6 months fighting in trial over stupid things, to find out ex was stalling divorce. Right before D was final, and shortly after , ex wanted a fourth chance but I didn't think I had it in me after all that he had done. He was pretty viscious to me. Anyway, a year later from when I was just sifting thru the divorce, I am doing much better. Just now digging out of financial mess, and am dating again. Moving from that stage where you are in love and deciding how to take the next step at the end of summer. If you told me I'd be here today a year later,being ok in life, I'd have never believed it.<P>It's been a long hard road, and I made lots of mistakes along the way, but dealing with a betrayal is tough, and trying to raise 3 kids with no financial help at all, is even harder! <P>Be strong, and take care of yourself so you can take care of your kids. I still have bad days now and then, and sometimes I think I always will, but it does get better.<P>Hugs, Dana<BR>

Thanks Dana, so much. I am so glad to hear that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes I think that I'll never ever be happy again.<P>In fact, looking forward to the rest of my life right now depresses me beyond belief.<P>I've been a stay at home mom for 10 years, and have a brand new baby. I'm going to request permission to move out of state to be near family. <P>I don't really look forward to dating, at least at this point, I don't think I'll ever trust another man ever again.<P>

Good luck with your new baby, that alone will keep you busy the next few years! After that, you'll heal a little at a time, and maybe someday you might be ready to try again, there's nothing wrong with staying single, or wanting to share your life, its a decision that you'll make down the road, take care!