Now it is my time to withdraw as best i can, i am going on a week's vacation with the ground rules of from my Dad: no computers, no internet, no cell phone, From my Brother: no button down shirts, no shoes, from my sister in law: no bathing suits! <P>i value my friends here, have met some very nice ones, have learned a ton, but now it is time for me to find my own way away from the internet. it has consumed part of me, but has been a life line. addiction? (probably, but its been worth every minute.) <P>but now i need to work on myself, and learn to accept the inevitable, and learn to master my parenting skills, and be more available to my kids. work has been impossible lately, and i need to focus in a new direction. <P>my job ends this month (supposed to anyway, i take on a new career, my third) i have to learn to leave my thinking world and explore the real world of people. i have more trips planned, but am looking just to enjoy life, not to make any grand new plans, but to slow down, and relax.<P>i got way too wound up last weekend, and i need to move on with my life in a more productive and satisfying way. the board here can remind me of frustrations, when others have similar issues.<P>so best wishes to all, <BR>i will not name anyone because i might leave someone out, <BR>but even junior members have helped on ocassion.<P>if i have helped you, "you are welcome"<BR>for those that have helped me, "thank you"<P><BR>tom<P>whenifindthetime@yahoo.com<P>and after i post this, i close the internet connection. . . <BR>

Hey! Sorry you will be leaving. I haven't been back much--even though I finally got a computer at home now. It hurts too much sometimes. I pop back in every now and then. I did want to thank you for your help to me. I always valued your thoughts and advice (except maybe your views about teachers--lol). Especially our discussions about personality type. (Even if you are an INTP). Ex I will miss seeing your name when I bebop back in every now and then and of course your intelligent, logical, and straightforward posts. Good luck with your new job. I really do hope things improve with your children. I have none, so I can't relate to the frustration, but I will keep you in my thoughts. <BR>--Cheryl (an ENFP )<BR>

Tom,<P>Hope you drop in occasionally, but have a good one. You deserve it. You have been very helpful here and your insight and thoughts are superb.<P>God Bless,<P>JL

Bye Tom!!<P>I wish you well. Thanks for all your help!<P>Jen

Tom, <P>I've always respected your blunt and direct approach. Your advice to everyone here was always honest and sincere. Please do lurk occasionally, if not only to let us know how you are...<P>Best wishes and relax on your vacation <P>------------------<BR><B>God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...Courage to change the things I can...And the wisdom to know the difference.</B><P>lady_divine77@yahoo.com

Hey Tom -<P>It's good to take a break and redirect your thoughts......helps to put your everyday living in the forefront and lose some of this speculation and singular subject focus in the proper perspective.<P>I don't see it as "moving on" though - more a "moving through".....<P>All our experiences are a part of us now. Can't forget it or dismiss it - have to learn from it and reevaluate our old ways of thinking, expectations and behaviors.<BR>There is a good emotional place available for you to have for the future, you just have to reach it. AND YOU WILL!!!<P>YOU MUST - for you have loved in this lifetime and that is never a waste - so don't let it end up that way - 'kay?<P>The children of this world need TWO parents - together preferably, but civilized and united for their sake -DEFINITELY!!!<P>It's not about you or her - it's about the kids. So no more Pe'''in' contests! You won't find your "admiration" or "being right" need filled and neither will she through any bru-ha-ha's about or over the kids. <P>Doesn't matter who is right or wrong - matters what is compromised to a good solution for them.<P>You know this.....I am not telling you anything new. Hurt comes out through anger and frustration - we ALL have that and have to recycle it into a better energy. Uncertainty comes out through defensiveness - that's something to be aware of also.<P>It takes time and some stability of thought, but you will reach that good place Tom, I know you will. Just really put into practice what you have learned here. <P>Geez, just really wanted to say to take a good "rest" and rejoin the other people and things going on in your life and off I went, eh? Sorry!!! I breeze in about once a week only now (often not posting, just checking up) and had hoped that you would "rest" soon. You need it!!<P>You're thought of often.....so don't feel alone. We're all with you in your head so picture us yakking away at you when you are feeling angry, frustrated, unsure or simply sad.....You'll be able to work it through - no problem. Heck, picture a good thump to the side of your head if need be!!!! LOL!!!<P>BIG HUGS, Prayers and Strength,<P>Sheba

Tom,<P>I've always enjoyed your posts. They were usually both interesting and thought provoking.<P>I wish you all the best.<P>Steve

Tom,<BR>Thank you for your help and support. Please take care.<P>OOOO

Hi Tom,<P>I've never called you by your name before!!!<P>Thank you for being there for me. I appreciate it so much.<P>Have a great holiday, and enjoy and relax. Enjoy your kids. They are so much fun, as I'm learning.<P>Come back sometime, and let us know how you are<P>take care of you and your family<P>Jo

I thank you for the support you've shown me. Take care and I wish you all the best.<BR>Petrie

Tom,<BR>Thanks!!!!foreverything. I am back from 5 days away andlurked......was able to know there is a life out there..which I will one day have.<BR>My kids are the losers unfortunately. There is zero I could have done to help them anymore. Their father, in his infinite wisdom, has "competed" for their love and accefction!!!!!and they have told me I have lost the battle. Actually they have lost the chance to be parented responsibly andlovingly....and the 5 of them will live a life of unrealized potential, no boundaries and much more crazy stuff. I have agononized over this for two years and done the best I could....and would do most of the same again. But I am also done. I cannot save my children from their father...nor did I ever want to.....I hoped that they would be strong enough to save themselves from his malevolence...but they cannot.<P>So now is the time for me to get on with my life...and when or if any one of my children wants to wake up and smell the roses, and understands life a little more clearly, I will get back into the saddle!<P>Take care of yourself and your kids......willbeveryok <BR>willbok99@hotmail.com<P>

Tom, this place will be less without you. <P>There are many of us who will tremendously miss your posts.<BR>For all the pearls of wisdom, the journeys of introspection on which you have lead us, and for all the jokes, we thank you.<P>Come back anytime you wish. After all, Mitzi has revived the mega-thread.<BR>

Hey Tom,<P>You have been such a great support to me.<BR>Still think back and laugh at my old user name and what you thought I should change it to.lol <P>Your wisdom,insight and humor will be missed!<P>JUNE:22nd-28th *Ramada Inn at the Oceanfront* VA Beach.<BR>#757-425-7800<BR>Zippy has 4 rooms booked.<P>See you there!<P>Gina <P>------------------<BR>"If we deny love that is given to us,if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss,then our lives will be empty,our loss greater!"-----Anonymous----<p>[This message has been edited by LittleCookie (edited March 19, 2001).]