<BR>Okay, I know I can read each and every profile to get the information, but I was just looking for the short and sweet, bottom line on who we are here. I’m just curious about the ages, genders, betrayed or betrayer, and how long you were married when the affair started/was revealed/ended. So, lets just do a quick survey and sound off, okay? <BR>Hey, maybe Doc. H can use this information to help others somehow. <BR>__________________________________<BR>Female<BR>-Age 31<BR>-Betrayer<BR>-Married 8 years<BR>-Married 3 years when H cheated – I found out shortly after it started, it ended immediately.<BR>-Married 5 ½ years when I cheated, H found out 2 years later. Ended 6 months after I told H.<BR>

O.K.....<BR>Male<BR>39 years<BR>Betrayed<BR>Married 11 years<BR>My soon to be ex-W told me June of '96 that she was in love with a married co-worker, has not changed her mind all this time. We have lived in the same house the whole time also, one very hurt little boy. She wants the divorce I don't.....

Female<BR>Age 48<BR>Betrayed<BR>married 15 years<BR>H had affair for one yr. <BR>H says very strong emotional bond w/OW; denies sexual relationship w/OW but admits other physical stuff<BR>OW is coworker - 15 yrs younger than me<BR>OW is married<BR>H disclosed affair 5 months ago (after it was over he says) and after he said he wanted a divorce<BR>Not certain it is really over as they still work together<BR>

Hi.<BR>Female<BR>31 years old.<BR>I am the betrayed.<BR>Married almost 6 years. We have been togther for 13.<BR>Affair started in March 99 and still going on. I found out in June.<BR>OW is married/ getting divorse.<P>------------------<BR>Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved. Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them, but do not let them master you. The marvelous richness of human experience would lose something of rewarding joy if there were no limitations to overcome. <BR>Viki <p>[This message has been edited by pondvj (edited August 09, 1999).]

Female<BR>-Age 27<BR>-Betrayer<BR>-Married 2 years<BR>-"Fell in Love" with a married man I work with, went on a business trip and that's when everything came out in the open. I now live 800 miles away from him and am still married. I think about him every day and although I want him I don't know if I could leave my husband for him if that's what it came down to.

For what it's worth, here's mine--<P>-Male<BR>-Age 37 (mental age 16)<BR>-I'm the unfaithful one<BR>-Married 16 yrs (have 9 yr old son)<BR>-1st affair : married 6 yrs. Told my wife after she asked me why I was acting so weird. But it didn't end immediately.<BR>-2nd affair : married 15 1/2 yrs. Ended when my wife found out (but I'm still in severe withdrawal).<BR>-both affairs were "emotional" affairs.<P>--airheart

female 35 years<BR>seperated since January 99. <BR>Betrayer.<BR>Was in affair with co-worker MM/3kids 7 years. I told everyone in Dec 98. Including MM wife. I couln't handle it any more. I have 2 kids with husband & 2 kids with MM.<BR>( Don't worry I'm not having anymore).<BR>Working on child support from MM. And working on being friend with Husband.<BR>

Female<BR>45 years old<BR>Betrayed<BR>Married 25 years<BR>Will be separating 8/20<P>A Little over a year ago started noticing changes in H's personality. I was treated as "second class". He hated me. Soon it came out he was "seeing an old friend". We've been working over a year, but it churns nowhere. Thus, separation.

Male<BR>Age 27<BR>Betrayer<BR>Married nearly 6 years (seeing each other for nearly 11); fabulous 17 month old son<BR>Married 5 1/2 when I cheated<BR>Ended immediatley after wife found out<p>[This message has been edited by rhooks4 (edited August 09, 1999).]

Female<BR>-Age 45<BR>Betrayed<BR>Married 19 years, 6 kids<BR>H started disappearing for hours last fall, was inexplicably angry at me. Told me wanted a divorce in Feb, called from work the next evening to say wasn't coming home, he filed in April, immediately after discovery. OW is slightly older than I, divorced with kids.<p>[This message has been edited by Nellie1 (edited August 09, 1999).]

29yrs. old<BR>Female<BR>Betrayed<BR>Married 1 year, Seperated, H wants divorce since i called cops to get him out of house! VERY HURT!

- Female<BR>- Age 44<BR>- Betrayed (?)<BR>- Cohabited 2 years, married 13 years<BR>- H had at least overly intense, inappropriate friendship with boss/friend/co-worker (same person) starting Spring 1998 through June 1999 and maybe still, though less so.<BR>- H denied anything inappropriate or sexual.<BR>- OW got him interview for current job. She is single mom, 4 years younger than me. H and I are same age.<BR>- Started "nondisclosure Plan A 3/99 -- seems to be working. H does not go out very often anymore, never mentions OW, loving towards me, marriage seems better than ever.

Female<BR>43<BR>Married 10 years<BR>Betrayed<BR>Talked to me about being interested in CHILD June 28, began dating her the next day. Left us 8/6.

Female-45 yrs old<BR>Betrayed<BR>Married 2 years, dated for 8 years<BR>Discovery 2 months ago<P>H is repentant. Trying to work things out<BR>

age 26 <BR>married 5 yrs (totall) seperated 1 yr<BR>had relatioship with online women never met nothing sexuall. wife cant get over lies i told her says she doesnt love and doesnt think she ever will<P>------------------<BR>Malachi 2: 16 For I hate divorce, says the Lord<P>Cute

Female, 47 yrs old<BR><BR>Betrayed<BR><BR>Married 21 yrs this week<BR><BR>H developed a "friendship" with a co worke 17 yrs younger than him last summer. He claims it wasn't physical and also had nothing to do with his feelings of being trapped and wanting out.<BR><BR>He refused to do any serious work on the marriage and we have been seprated since Dec.<BR><BR>He was recently seen going into her apt.

Age 43<BR>Female<BR>Betrayed although I betrayed him 4 years ago with a 1 month emotional affair<BR>Married 22 years<P>Affair for H started 2 years ago and I found out 6 months later. Having been fighting for my marriage ever since with him moving back and forth 4 times and trying to end it with her at least 10 times and not suceeding. Claims to love and want to spend the rest of his life with me, but sanity and patience are going. Off to Arizona for 1 week today to clear my head.<P>------------------<BR>Lilly<P>

Female (don't let the name fool you!) ;-)<BR>Age 29<BR>Be-trayed-him<BR>Married for almost 7 years<BR>Rocky marriage, careers got in the way...started an emotional affair with my best guy friend over a year ago, that eventually led to a full blown love affair. Currently working with H to repair.<P>

Female<BR>36 yrs old<BR>married 14 years<BR>H has been having emotional affair for 18 months. He has now moved out and has been gone for 3 weeks, OW is still in picture but I feel we are making some progress<BR>2 children (8&10)<BR>I love him very much and will continue to fight for our marriage.

Female<BR>Age:33<BR>Betrayed<BR>Married 12 yrs<P>Husband had a one year affair with one of my best friends. She moved, he then told me. This was 7 wks ago. He still doesn't say that he loves me but everything else is going pretty well. Withdrawal symptoms faiding.<BR>

-male<BR>-36<BR>-married 13+ years<BR>-betrayed (8 known times)<BR>-two sons (12 & 10)<BR>-first affair began with old friend nearly 6 years ago over the phone that became physical when she went home for the summer and ended almost 2 years after it began, second affair occurred while she was still having the first, don't remember the details of the others until the last one with what she claims to be a friend<BR>-in all cases I found out about the affairs because of her behavior and tone of voice when she would talk to OM on phone<P>------------------<BR>God Bless,<BR>Rob<P><BR><p>[This message has been edited by professorg (edited August 09, 1999).]

Female<BR>39 years old<BR>Betrayed<BR>Married 14 years<BR>Two children, ages 6 and 1<P>Husband became withdrawn, angry and emotionally abusive right after our baby girl was born in July 98. Refused to help with baby, wouldn't let me bring the baby into his office, refused to go on vacation with us, disappeared every night and every Saturday. Got fed-up and tossed him out of the house in September '98. Found out (for sure) about affair in December. Entered Plan B in January. Husband had no contact with baby for five months and saw 6 yo son (who he had adored) only twice a month with no in-between phone calls. Husband became depressed and gained extreme amount of weight. Left Plan B around June 1. Husband will not communicate about the affair. I know virtually nothing about the OW but believe it is still going on. Husband met with Steve Harley in June and said he wanted to work things out. The actions haven't supported the words.

Female<BR>41<BR>betrayed<BR>married 20 years, together 23<BR>OW was co-worker that he "feel in love with". He wanted to end our marriage then, but now wants to save it.<BR>Not his first,.<BR>Legally separated (state requirement before the big "d"), but in the same household<BR>I found out when they drove up the drive way in April.<BR>Ended: well, maybe in May, but who knows the truth, not I.<BR>

Male<BR>36 -- 37 next month<BR>betrayed<BR>married 4-1/2 years when she left. Almost 5yrs when physical affair happend, 5-1/4 years when internet affairs happened.

Female<BR>Age 30<BR>Betrayed<BR>Married 10 years<BR>3 children <BR>Affair started in Jan '99 found out in March '99 and it ended in July '99. H had affair with co-worker at his new job in new state, said he loved her at first, but has now come to realize he did not and he was just very depressed.<BR>

Female<BR>betrayed<BR>45 yrs old (his second wife)<BR>married 12 yrs<BR>have 11 yr old daughter together.<BR>h 52 yrs old <BR>(1rst wife, had son, now 26 yrs old, which was also a 12 yr marriage).<BR>h left me nov 98, thanks giving day!!<BR>h met up with old high school female freind, last june, 98, who is still married, (we all became freinds and went out as couples, a few times) but OW is unhappy w/marriage also, so in time, they (I guess) plan on being together, for their retirment yrs. OW is 52 yrs old, also. (nick name, perdue!)<BR>OW has two grown kids, one engaged daughter, getting married in june of 2000. probably waiting until then, to leave.

Male<BR>-Age 40<BR>-Betrayed<BR>-Married 17 years<BR>-4 kids: (13, 10, 8, 5)<BR>-Married 16 years when W fell for OM. Found out 3 months after it started, it continued for another 4 months. I neglected her for quite sometime prior to this. W is currently in w/d and we are struggling to rebuild. W still very emotionally distant.<p>[This message has been edited by Sir Hurts Alot (edited August 10, 1999).]

Female<BR>betrayed<BR>28 years old<BR>married 8 1/2 years when H had affair with 18 year old he met over the internet<BR>was 7 months pregnant with second child<BR>Questioning whether to stay or not

Female<BR>28 years old<BR>betrayer<BR>married 4 1/2 years when I had physical affair (only slept with OM once)<BR>married just over 5 years when had internet affairs (lasted about a month)<BR>One daughter 6 years old now<BR>H found out about internet affair before physical affair.

Female<BR>Age 33<BR>Together 12 years, married 7.<BR>5 year old and 4 month old.<BR>Betrayed.<BR>H affair w/ coworker started on a business trip in Dec 98 when I was 6 months pregnant. I figured it out 1 month later due to angry, hostile, distant behavior and lots of clues. H moved out in Jan 99. Baby was born in March 99. In May 99 he ended it w/ OW and said he wanted to 'see' if we could work things out, but with no commitment (or effort) on his part. He sees her every day at work. For awhile things seemed to be getting better. Then in July he suddenly took a trip to 'get some space' and came home and said he wants a divorce. More mixed messages after that, but I'm done with plan A. Unless he makes a radical change with some serious commitment and effort, we will get divorced.

Female<BR>29 <BR>2 children <BR>-Married HS sweetheart <BR>-H cheated after almost 4 years marriage<BR>-His affair started while I was pregnant<BR>with our first child, ended 9 mos later<BR>when he was found out. Our child was 7 mos old by then.<BR>-We didn't get help after his affair;<BR>our marriage has been RoCkY to say the least.<BR>-I've resented the hell out of him<BR>-H lives 3 hours away 6 days each week<BR>-H has not trustworthy; possibility of other affairs! <BR>-Had 10 year anniversary last Oct'98<BR>-I started emotional affair last Mar'98<BR>-Emotional affair turned physical<BR>-I ended the affair a few months ago on<BR>my own when H made an effort toward me, our marriage and our family.<BR> <P>------------------<BR>For I know the thoughts I think<BR>toward you, saith the Lord,<BR>thoughts of peace, not of evil,<BR>to give you an expected end.<BR>Jeremiah 29:11<BR><p>[This message has been edited by Kyra (edited August 09, 1999).]

Male age 43, <BR>married for 15+ yrs. <BR>2 children, 12 & 8<BR>discovered w affair in mid may<BR>she moved out 4th of july weekend to hotel om paid for. moved into apartment following week with om following week later.they already have joint checking account.<BR>should be hearing from her lawyer this week.<BR>

Female<BR>Age 37<BR>Married 16 yrs, mostly together 20<BR>Two children 6 and 9<BR>Betrayed<BR>H's affair with co worker started last June and was disvovered the first week. Didn't end on discovery, rather went on and off until September. Heavy withdrawl anytime it was off during that time. Ended completly in October, no special withdrawl symptons then. Recovery since then, that really felt much better in December. Things are great now, and we intend to work as hard as it takes on our marriage to keep them that way. <P>Kat

-Male<BR>-Age 31<BR>-Married 5 years this month<BR>-W had a One night stand on July 19 with a friend who she still talks to<BR>-Seperated Since she told me the morning of July 20<BR>-Currently she wants nothing to do with me.. or him she says..<P>------------------<BR>Rutger......One day at a time.<P>

-Male<BR>-38 years old, Wife 37.<BR>-Betrayed<BR>-Married 19 years, 2 daughters, 13 & 8.<BR>-Found out Christmas night Wife had affair 10 years ago.<BR>-Found out 26 Dec she had an affair Aug-Dec.<BR>-She went on vacation 1-9 Feb & visited OM<BR>-Wife moved across US with wankboy on 17 Feb.<BR>No divorce or reconciliation in sight yet.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A>

female<BR>age 43<BR>Married to DuncanMac 21 yrs, together 24<BR>2 boys aged 6 & 11<BR>betrayer - 6+ yrs. into marriage. Long, intense affair. Depression.<BR>betrayed - Aug-Oct '98. H met OW on internet.<BR>Big wake-up call for us both. I think we're finally getting it right! We've had counseling on & off since '85 (my affair got us in there).

<BR> Male<BR> Age 46<BR> Betrayed<BR> Married 22 yrs<BR> W had an"office affair"last summer with man 11 yrs younger than her.Decided she was in love with him,and moved out.Changed her whole personality.I have'nt seen or talked to her in months-plan B?Probably will get a divorce.I feel the need to move on.

OK I'll bite,<P> Male, 39<P> Small business owner. I put the company first and above my second marriage and loving wife. Worked long hours and the like. <P> First marriage, Betrayer. First worst mistake I ever made. Was a real [censored]. I will never take this path again. EVER!<P> Second marriage, Betrayed. Second worst mistake I ever made. Was a real [censored].<BR>See above. I put the ambulance service before my wife and personal life. Was a real [censored]. Alcoholism enters picture for me. A little too much stress. More that I bargained for. Business is doing great, big whoop, I have no one special to share it with. The kids are too young to appreciate the success, not to exclude them, they will get it some day.<P> Married for over four years at her start of emotional affair, or so I'm told. We've been together since she graduated high school, ten years ago. She was a virgin.<P> Two great boys I couldn't be more proud of, ages 18 and 14 from first marriage. Current W can't have kids because of Tetrology of Fallot. Bad heart problems would probably not survive delivery.<P> Had the American dream of being secure in old age. I did not realize that I would be alone sitting on Virgina Beach because of my behavior.<P> Finding out too late in life that I was the problem and not the solution.<P> Medic<P> A line from Animal House comes to mind. "Hey ya f*****d up...You trusted us ...Try to make the best of it".<P> Sorry, just feeling very down right now. I miss my Valerie.

-Female<BR>-46<BR>-Betrayed<BR>-married 25 years<BR>-Affair revealed to me April 99, H moved out May 99, I moved to another state July 99. H wants divorce and is probably working on that now. I don't know if he's still involved or not, my guess is yes. H calls our daughter to ask how I'm doing. I've only had 1 conversation with him since July 8th. I'm hanging in there but hurting alot.

Male<BR>-age 29<BR>-betrayed<BR>-married 4 years next month<BR>-married 3 1/2 years (together 7 1/2 years) when she cheated<P>She broke it off immediately or I would have left. Sometimes still can't believe it really happened.<BR><P>------------------<BR>/// Lone Star * ///<P><BR>

competent, lovely woman<BR>betrayed (and cyber betrayer)<BR>married 2 1/2 years <BR>his affair lasted 9+ months before discovery, and MAYBE ended last month..so, 2 years, total.<BR>she was a coworker in a bad relationship, and he got her a job with him. he later quit, and though i begged him not to, he hired her again, and ended up living with her for several months without my knowledge. I suspect he still is, but he is claiming he wants me back. still rarely comes home.

- Female<BR>- Age 39 (will be 40 on 8/26)<BR>- Betrayed<BR>- Together 4 yrs before being married in 1989<BR>- Married 3 years when H admitted first affair (it was already over by then) ... I was in a depressed state during that time period and he accepted the attention of the 1st OW due to believing I didn't love him anymore.<BR>- Didn't get counselling and didn't deal with the problems surrounding the first affair (yeah, I know - DUMB!)<BR>- Married 9 years when this affair came to light - OW got drunk, tried to physically attack me and then left a message on my answering machine about how she was sleeping with my H. Confronted with this, he admitted it and announced his intention to move out.<BR>- I was diagnosed with mild clinical depression, began anti-depressant treatment and began Plan A in October 1998<BR>- H moved out in mid November 1998.<BR>- I feel we have been making baby steps forward since then, even though slug apparently moved in with him sometime around or after Christmas.<BR>- Most recently, I have been told by a couple of people that my H is miserable in his relationship, and I believe him to be depressed.<BR>- Still in Plan A and going strong (likely because he is not living with me), having fun with friends and with H when I have the opportunity<BR>- Have become a more confident, secure and healthy "me"... <BR><P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>No, I'm not a Marriage Counselor,<BR>But I did sleep at a <BR>Holiday Inn Express last night...<BR>

Female<BR>45 yrs old, married 17 yrs, 2 kids 16 and 13.<BR>betrayed<BR>H had online internet affair with younger woman Sept to Jan 98. Was planning to leave family to be with her 850 miles away. Upon discovery, he said they broke it off, but resumed affair in Nov 98 . He says they have broken it off, but he continues contact. I have asked him to move out....I am not sure if I can get past it again.<P>------------------<BR>Susan

Female 39 (a few more days)<BR>Married 17 years<BR>3 girls<BR>betrayed<BR>Kissy face thing lasted about one month<BR>Phone contact 8 more weeks<BR>Dec 98 - Feb 99<BR>Recovering nicely. <P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

female 34<BR>married 15+ years<BR>3 kids ages 15 13 and 12<BR>4 mos ago H started internet affair and went to meet her on a vacation he took 3 weeks ago,<BR>moved her and three of her kids to the area and is now living in a hotel with her

Female<BR>30<BR>Betrayed<BR>Married almost 5 years<BR>I found out almost 2 years after the fact that my husband had an emotional affair with a coworker. They only worked together the first few months. It consisted mostly of phone calls over a 3 year period. Beginning before our marriage. I'm sure it would have progressed into more had he been able to get out of the house by himself. He never goes anywhere without me or our child. He's never had any unexplained absences or not been where he was supposed to be. Thankfully, or this could be much much worse. <P>Husband can't be any more remorseful and we're working hard on saving our marriage. As soon as I get past the disgust that still plagues me daily. *sigh*<BR> <P>------------------<BR>The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.<BR>Helen Keller

married: 11 years<BR>age: 30<BR>Kids: 3 (plus mother-in-law w/alzheimers living with us)<BR>Betrayer<P>Began emotional affair 3 years after being married with a co-worker, when 1st child was a toddler. fell deeply in love, and affair turned sexual- lasted 7 more years. Finally told husband and we moved away 1 yr ago to save marriage, but am in withdrawal still. I avoid contact with ex-lover, but thoughts of him pop up many times each day.<BR>Husband wants to pretend affair never happened, can't get him to talk.<BR><p>[This message has been edited by tamis (edited August 10, 1999).]

Female<BR>29 (30 in 3 weeks)<BR>betrayer<BR>Married 8.5 years (together for 12)<BR>emotional attachment to former co-worker became physical on two occasions last Dec. then I confessed to my H. (affair 6 months total) He still loves me - amazing. We are working at putting things back together.

female<BR>age 36<BR>married 15 years (together 19 yrs)<BR>2 kids ages 6 and 9<BR>married 2yrs? when he had 1st affair w/co-worker. confessed to this one after ending 2nd one<BR>married 10 yrs when he had 2nd affair. Discovered after ~3 months, continued for 3 months before ending it<BR>married 12yrs when he had 3rd affair. discovered after ~3 months, continued for ~1 year<P>Tried to "save" marriage after 1st discovery. Attended counseling alone, he refused. I was/am ready to walk after discovery of last affair but circumstances do not allow. Never separated. He never wanted to leave and never claimed to love any of them.

Male<BR>Age 39<BR>Betrayed<BR>Married 15 years<BR>Divorced 4 months<BR>Married 14 years when W started affair w/cowkr. Suspected but thought I was wrong because MIL and her are close and MIL is betrayed. MIL was helping affair the whole time.<BR>Suspicioins led me to investigate. verified.<BR>W was a bytch to me the entire time. I Filed for divorce. 2 mo later she decides she wants to work it out but won't stop lovebusting. She's getting better but I'm not sure I want to be married again.<p>[This message has been edited by fighter (edited August 10, 1999).]

Female<BR>-Age 37<BR>-Betrayed<BR>-Married 8 1/2 years<BR>_H had an emotional affair with a woman 14 years younger than I in April while he was out of town. He claimed he was in love with her, she was his soulmate and he couldn't give her up. He wanted us both and I said nope. We have come a long way and I am grateful he has worked so hard at this. He finally came to realize she was insignificant in all this and we are rebuilding.<P>_oh, and I was 8 1/2 months pregnant when he did this...go figure! <P>------------------<BR>Joan

---Male 45<P>---Married 9 1/2 years - 6 kids (12, 9, 7, 4, 3 and 2)<P>---Betrayed<P>---Wife began internet affair nearly 1 year ago. They met 8 months ago (January). They were going to meet again 4 months ago (April), but I discovered what was going on. We're trying to put the pieces back together, but she still won't admit to doing anything wrong and I have my suspicions that she's still trolling on the internet. In plan A for 9 months now, there may be a change in that in October.

-Male<BR>-Age 43<BR>-Betrayed<BR>-Married 10-1/2 years<BR>-Married 8 years when emotional affair started<BR>-Married 10y 3mos when affair became sexual and was revealed<BR>-Affair continuing<BR>-Informal separation from 5/99 to present with me moving out(mutual agreement). Just started a trial two week move back together, however W acting distant and irritable, signs she has something to tell me and won't yet.

Female<BR>age 46<BR>betrayed<BR>married 15 1/2 years, been together 17<BR>married 14 years when affair started<BR>married 15 years when discovered<BR>ended immediately after discovery<BR>Husband in heavy withdrawal even after 5 months.<BR>We are trying to mend this all. He wants to have that hearts and flowers, butterflies feeling about me again. By the grace of God. I pray<P>------------------<BR>God bless you and all of us.<P>Samantha<BR>

Female<BR>43<BR>Betrayed<BR>9 years married (tomorrow)<BR>6 kids (yours, mine and ours)<BR>3 grand kids (wonderful wonderful wonderful)<BR>Pre-disclosure plan A (denies denies denies)<BR>Christian<BR>Thankful for MB and it's precious posters.<BR>

Ok...<P>Betrayer<BR>Female, age 36<P>Affair with co-worker after 10 yrs. of marriage. Affair lasted from Aug. 1995 until Sept. 1996.<P>Married the OM. Together we have 4 children (2 each bio and 2 step). Been living together for 2 1/2 years, married for 15 months of that).<BR>

Female 40<BR>Betrayed<BR>6 1/2 yrs married<BR>at 5yrs affair started<BR>5 1/2 yrs he left home<BR>4 kids (2kids bio his) 1 he adopted<BR>Left for us for OW he works with<BR>Has moved in with her 3 times, out twice<BR>currently living together. This is the first time he has changed his address, he filed for divorce 2 months ago, haven't heard anything since then, shows no signs of reconcilation.

Female<BR>40<BR>19 years married<BR>Betrayed and Betrayer<BR>H went through the seven year itch 12 years ago... I went through the mid-life crisis last year. Worst time of my life, would NEVER repeat it. In counseling with H and hoping and praying to hit the 20th anniversary early next year. It's a struggle for both of us. Praying for a miracle. Lots of pain.

I'm in too.<P>-Male<BR>-Married 10 years (next week)<BR>-2 girls (7 & 9)<BR>-Betrayed<BR>-W began emotional affair w/ co-worker 3-4 years ago. Marriage was in turmoil then. Asked for separation 2 years ago (also next week - yep right before anniversary). Moved OM in to our house 1 1/2 months later. Started physical affair and fell in love. Doesn't know what she wants to do. I love busted for many, many months. Am now trying to me a man instead of male.<P>------------------<BR>Janella - "...I'll be the greatest fan of your life..."<BR>Jerry<P>

- Female<BR>- Age 34 (35 next month)<BR>- Betrayed<BR>- Together 7-1/2 years,<BR> Married 6-1/2 years<BR>- H started seeing OW 1 month before our 6 year anniversary. Became sexual w/OW around our anniverary.<BR>- Affair lasted 2 months & 1 week. Ended when I was ready to leave him one day after exposure.<BR>- H regrets and feels guilty. Realizes it was wrong and wasn't worth it. In recovery for 5 months, but H has mood swings from depression and is alcoholic who is trying to stop drinking. Some days are good, some are bad....<p>[This message has been edited by NoTrust (edited August 10, 1999).]

Female<BR>Age 35 (turn 36 8/31)<BR>Betrayed<BR>Married 15 years; together 18<BR>3 kids (12, 10, 5)<BR>Found out about "her" 10/98; turns out he's been chasing skirts for years and he continues to do so.<BR>I filed for divorce 5/99.<BR>We still get along.<P>I'm happier now than I have been in years. I would never take him back, even if he wanted to. I have moved on... <P>I know now that this is a good thing after all. I only wish it didn't have to be so painful for so long.

Female<BR>Will be 44 on Friday<BR>Betrayed<BR>Married 12 years<BR>H started online "relationship" some time between April and June, consumated relationship "once" in November, 1998. I discovered whole story January, 1999. Were separated from March 30 to late June, 1999. Still working on marriage, I go to counseling, read any and all books, he just wants to sweep it under the rug. I will be returning to school in 2 weeks and will just wait and see. Things are better but not great, tired of being the only one trying to solve things.

Well I guess I should chime in too..<P>but I may suprise some folk who know me here with a little extra "disclosure" about my more distant past.<P>So here goes:<P>Current Stats:<BR>_____________________________________________<BR>Male<BR>Age: 34 (5 days ago) Wife: 30 (10 weeks ago)<BR>Betrayed <BR>Married 7 MONTHS, 1 Week, 1 day. (2nd marriage for me, 1st for her.)<BR>Known wife: 10 years (Friends 9yrs, "involved" 8yrs, living together 2.5 yrs.)<BR>NO CHILDREN at all.<P>Wife got involved emotionally & physically with co-worker 7 weeks after wedding day because I wasn't meeting her needs. I was too engrosed in finishing a second degree to see the forrest for the trees. Affair went on for 6 weeks before I woke up to the signals and investigated/uncovered proof & made everthing hit critical mass by giving W immediate choice of OM or me! She chose me, & even though she has struggled with withdrawal here & there, with counseling and a whole whole lot of pain, patience, and perserverance, we are making very good progress.<P><BR>Old stats:<BR>_____________________________________________<P>Married 1st W 9 yrs ago <BR>I was 25. She was 27y. <BR>Met in college & dated 5 yrs.<P>Thought she was the "one" but had doubts and wanted to date some other girls before making the big leap. Her & I were talking about moving into our own places (we were living together)& doing just that. But my mom died suddenly (me an only child, dad died at 15) and I panicked & immediately proposed to her. She accepted (her dream come true) and we were married the next summer. Six months later (about a year after my mom's death) I found myself getting over the grief but feeling like I jumped into marriage too soon. (I might have been 25, but I had the emotional maturity of about 16!! Plus I was unbelieveably stupid!!) So instead of doing the smart thing and talking to my W about it and either separating/divorcing/going back to what we were talking about doing about a year before (before my mom died) I was an idiot and started messing around with a good friend/co-worker. We soon fell into a full-blown affair that lasted over 16 months (most of which was long-distance since W & I transferred out of town & later even out of state!) When W discovered/finally found proof, I broke all contact with OW and committed to making things work with W. But all the lies and deception took their toll. She couldn't get past them, and my guilt made me want to separte. That led to a year long separation, followed by divorce. I never really gave her or our marriage a fair chance at recovering.<P>Now here's the "kicker". The co-worker, OW that I was involved with back then is...... my CURRENT, WIFE #2!!!!!<P>Yes folks, I am in that very, very small statistic (5-6% I believe)of those who left their spouse and married the OP. <P>And yes, what goes around does come around (at least for me). My first W said back then, that she hoped that I would one day feel the pain that she had. Well she got her wish. I really couldn't understand why she freaked out SO BAD all those years ago. Again being young, selfish, and emotionally retarded, I thought it was her. But I now know better. I now know first hand the pain of being betrayed. And it does freak you out and hurt you to your very soul like nothing else ever could.<P>But for me, what has seemed like a bit of "salt in the wound" is that since the OW for me back then was/is my current W, & she experienced first hand how messed up I was for YEARS about betraying/hurting/leaving my first W (in fact she dumped me and started seeing other guys for awhile because she didn't think I would marry her or anyone else again because of it). I eventually overcame those self-imposed demons and after dating some others, we got back together. And after getting past 3 years of long-distance dating (our careers led us to separte cites/states) we eventually moved to the same area, then the same city, then the same house. And we married the first of this year. THEN WHAMO!!! She turns around and burns me!!! It was like...hey wait a minute here. Didn't you see any of the hard lessons and stupidity that I discovered??? Weren't you right there over the years??? No, she did her own selfish thing too and is now fighting through the guilt & personal demons that I battled many years ago. However, I now have been able to see the side of the fence that my first W saw. <P>And let me tell you....both sides of this awful equation SUCK!! You don't want to be either the "betrayer" or the "betrayed". But we all are certainly capable of either.<P>-knifed/knifer

Female 31<BR>Betrayed<BR>9 years married - 16 month old <BR>Husband met "her" when he hired her. He felt sorry for her (divorce - both had cheated). We took her into home - offered a place to come. They had a connection - I noticed the way she looked at him from the beginning - he said I was imagining it - neighbors noticed - called her a baracuda! I don't know when it started, but she is on hold while he decides what he wants to do. I am waiting - cause I still love him and he says he loves me.

Female<BR>Age 38<BR>Betrayer and Betrayed (double whammy)<BR>Married in 1981<BR>Had my affair from Nov 1997 through July 1998 when I discovered my H had an affair from May 1997 through August 1997.<BR>Ended my affair immediately.<BR>H and I recommitted to rebuilding our marriage.<BR>Been going strong ever since and am enjoying the deepest love and most intimacy we've ever had.<p>[This message has been edited by new woman (edited August 10, 1999).]

Male<BR>age 44<BR>married 16 yrs in Oct.<BR>2 children, 12 & 8<BR>Betrayed, found out about affair in mid May, went to two differnt counselors.<BR>Nothing worked, told wife she couldn't live her if she planned to date.<BR>She moved out July 2 into motel w/om, his wife attempted suicide, he moved back home. <BR>Wife moved to hotel suite, om paid for it.<BR>Wife found apartment following week and moved in, om followed a week later.<BR>Am waiting to hear from her lawyer with disillusionment proposal this week.

Female<BR>-Age 33<BR>-Betrayed and Betrayer<BR>-Married 11 years, together 14<BR>-Husband betrayed me before and after marriage (serial infidelity). Has not betrayed me for 9 or so years. We never fully recovered from those, as we did not have the tools. <BR>-I betrayed him 2 years into marriage with an emotional affair (I only kissed OM). Another emotional affair about a year later with different OM (no physical contact). (Hubby did not know of these until we were in recovery from last one). Nothing 'til this last year, an internet emotional affair, never met the other man in person (although was planning to, husband caught me in time, THANK YOU LORD!) and in recovery 5 months. <P>Man, are we messed up or what?!

Female<BR>Age 30<BR>Betrayed<BR>Married 4 1/2 years<BR>2 Kids age 7 and 3<BR>Husband had an emotional affair for 6 months with his best friends wife (no longer friends) then went on to have a - full blown you name it they did everything - affair that lasted 3 months (until I found out) I am pretty sure that there were others but I did not find out about them and he is not telling, anyway it does not matter anymore because we are working on our marriage now and so far so good. I just pray that it continues this way perhaps then we can be truely happy together!!!<BR>Jenny<BR>South Africa<BR><P>------------------<BR>Where have all the cowboys gone ?<P><BR>

Age 50<BR>Male<BR>Betrayed<BR>Married 25 Years<BR>.....<BR>Diagnosed with prostate cancer in 96.. Sex life ended shortly after due to treatment..<BR>wife's did not..Found new friend to meet her needs..June 98 found the evidence..Would not<BR>work on marriage and I moved out aug 98...<BR>Won't put up with bull###t and divorced in<BR>May 99... She's still in Disneyland...<P>------------------<BR>

Cutiepie<BR> female, just turned 36, husband 38<BR> betrayed <BR> married 17 years on valentines day<BR> 2 kids, 14, and 12<BR> found out about husbands affair on memorial day weekend 99, they met on internet and then phone, then spent weekend together.<BR> This went on for two years until husband ended it and other woman sent me proof.I made him leave but he was only gone for about<BR> a month.I had no idea it was ever going on,<BR> it turned our lives upside down. Our families still dont know what happened and neither do the kids.He is willing to do anything to make things ok again except talk about the affair.

Female<BR>Age 38<BR>Betrayed<BR>Together 20 years<BR>Married 13 years<BR>Two boys (6&9)<BR>H had affair with coworker 5+ years<BR>Found out by anonymous phone call 1-99<BR>H experiencing tremendous guilt and confusion<BR>Moved out twice but is home now<BR>Trying to recover feelings and rebuild<BR>

Female<BR>age 45<BR>Betrayed<BR>Husband 53, Vietnam Vet with PTSD<P>Fell in love with H 29 years ago. I Have been married twice only because H couldn't commit in early years. Never really loved other H, actually one only lasted for 6 months. <P> We have been married for 17 yrs and I have loved him for my entire life it seems. With all the trouble that we had in finally getting together those 17 years ago, to dream that he could have an affair was devasting.<P>Still in dilema of getting the truth of why he felt the need to do this but to no avail. I quit work 1 month after I found out what he was doing, he seemed to want the ow so I filed for divorce and was going to let him have her after 4 months of him running back and forth with the "I love you" I love her routine. 3 days later he was home and case was closed...this was from Oct. '98 to Jan '99. <P>I have not returned to work....we travel a great deal and things are going well except for the inability to find out what went on and what was that mess all about.

OK Kids,<P>You have succeeded in making me feel like the old man of the board. But, I guess it just goes to show that when it comes to matters of the heart there are no age barriers.<P>Male<BR>Age--52<BR>Wife-51<BR>Married 32 years--and still counting<BR>Children--ages 28 & 29<BR>Betrayed<P>W and I met and fell in love at a very early age. We, in every sense of the word, grew up together. We worked hard and there was never a doubt, in 30 years that we loved each other. Yes, we made mistakes along the way but we did the best we knew how.<BR>The last 4 or 5 years we slowly fell into a state of complancey, we took each other for granted and began to drift apart. We let work and a ton of other distractions become more important than US. We didn't know we were doing it, it just happened, ever so slowly. The only need we were meeting was the security of being together.<BR> W ran into an old HS sweetheart who had just recently been divorced the 2 nd time and the affair began in Dec.97. W revealed affair in Feb 98. We immediately separated for 3 mos. W returned home june 98. The last year has been a roller coaster ride of emotions but we somehow began finding our way back together. We learned a lot about each other in that time, things that 30 + years never revealed, but we are now on the downhill side of a very difficult climb. <P>Take heart kids, if there is love and understanding between you, you can make it, but only time will allow it to happen.<P>Bless you all<P>Step by Step, Day by Day<BR>VMV

Hmmm, ok I'll play too.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

Hmmm, ok I'll play too.<P>Female<BR>age - 41<BR>Betrayer 19 years ago, <BR>Betrayed by h a total of 4 times since then. (I didn't do anything about the first affair he had because I did it first and figured I had it coming. ) 2 of these relationships were supposedly non sexual, but they hurt just as bad, maybe worse.<BR>Married for 21 years, together 22 in October,<BR>H's last affair ended Sept. 98, I still have some really days with this, maybe because it has happened before. <BR><P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

Female<BR>- Age 43<BR>- Betrayed<BR>- Together 5 years (Cohabited 2 years, married 2 years)<BR>- H in affair 2/98 - 10/98. Disclosure 10/98. Promises of ending affair but incomplete followthrough until 6/99. I think it's over now. (see below)<BR>- Husband is drawn to internet chat. Spent much time in IRC chat rooms and met OW who lives cross country. Managed 3 face-to-face meetings without my knowlege (business travel). H revealed affair in Oct 98 (almost on our one-year wedding anniversary) but had been unable to complete close off relationship. Continued e-mail relationship until June 99 until I intercepted blatantly dishonest e-mail to OW (he said he had filed for divorce from me and was living independently) and I called her and she cut him off totally.<BR>- He is angry with me but is here and willing to work on marriage.<P><BR>FYI <P>- This is the second marriage for both of us; I hate to admit we met via the Internet while still married to others.<P>- I always believed it wouldn't happen to me!!!! <P>- Plus, I was a serial adulterer in my first marriage. (stupid, stupid, stupid) I'm amazed my ex still talks to me.<P>------------------<BR>RobinAnn<P>*********<P>Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape!

Female<BR>31<BR>Betrayer/betrayed **<BR>Married 6 years, 2 months, 2 weeks, together 7 years 2 months, 23 days... (moved in anniversary is next week) Sorry.... been dwelling on this today .<BR>Seperated 3 weeks - April/May 99, will seperate again next week.<P>Old college friend & I got reacquainted via internet.... became emotionally attached. Were always very close friends..... but was inappropriate now because we are married.<P>Suspect H is having an affair... possibly physical..... DEFINATELY Emotional. He denies it. Won't realize that my feelings about his "friendship" are as strong as his feelings about mine. I broke off all contact w/ my friend ..... H refuses to do same (they work together).<P>H has asked me to move out again.... says he doesn't want to put in any effort toward our marriage. He admits he is being selfish, and that it will get worse if he "tries to work on us". I'm moving out on the exact 7 year anniversary of the day we "officially" moved in together. <BR><P>------------------<BR>My favorite quote....<BR>"Hello, this is God. I will be handeling your problems today. I will not need your help, so sit back and have a good day."<BR>

C'est moi, c'est moi -<P>Male<BR>Age 13 (mental)<BR>Betrayed<BR>Married 20+ years (W #1)<BR>Married 3 years (W #2, much younger than me - smart, gorgeous, foxy professional woman I'm simply nuts about & who's probably too much for me to handle!)<BR>Cheated on in both marriages<BR>Current W cheated on me practically from the get-go, before we were even engaged (only suspected it then, am sure of it now). Still don't know who OM is. Been in couples counseling w/ her since before we were married. She lied and said she wasn't having an affair, so we're not even able to deal w/ this issue in counseling. Which is unfortunate, because it's the basic issue that's tearing our marriage apart. So my present focus is on "snooping" to find out ID of OM.<P>--Wex

Age 51<BR>Male<BR>Betrayed<BR>Married 11 years<BR>Two girls ages 15 and 9<BR>Second marriage for us both. Both were betrayed in first marriages and swore would never happen to us. High school sweetheart (om) came paid W a visit at our house last Nov. and off it went. Emotionally strong but no sex (I’m told). W has "ended" affair several times but OM keeps calling and she has accepted and continued meeting. Now in counseling with Dr. Harley and affair has again (I hope, finally ended).<BR>

Ok,<P>female<BR>betrayer<BR>28 years old<P>Also known as deceiver...

Male 42, betrayed<BR>lived together 5 years, married 2 years<BR>found out affair started before marriage.<P>

My turn:<P>-Female, age 26<BR>-Betrayer<BR>-married 1 1/2 yrs, together for 4<BR>-3 children, 8, 6 and 2<BR>-H works a lot of hours, I was very lonely (no excuse)<BR>-had brief affair with married man<BR>-ended affair before it really began I think, confessed to H, now trying to rebuild.<BR>-Still in Withdrawal.<BR>*noteworthy-affair didn't end badly...just we both came to our senses.<BR>-to my knowledge, H has never cheated on me<BR>-Mother in Law has been pushing another woman on H for the last 2 years (before the affair)<BR>That's about it. Please email me if you want to talk.<P>modemvnd@mcsi.net<P>Tracy

Wow, I wonder if mine will be read down here at the bottom <P>Female 35 married 14yrs 2 children 11 & 8<BR>Betrayed<BR>H met ow on line in may 98, then left us father's day weekend to drive to see his parents (along the way was ow). Father-in-law knew he was seeing her first and that was fine with him (go figure). After 3 months of believing his lies, and suffering the emotional stuff he lied one more time. This time I was ready to come to my senses, he was in my hometown on a business trip and called and told my youngest he was staying one more day, my mother, who still lives there said I bet the ow is here. So she got in her car and went to the resort......he was busted red handed. When he returned home he was met at our house with two officers and was served papers. What a wake up call it was for him. Lot's of counseling and a whole lot of honesty has turned our lives around. We just celebrated a one year mark of me finding out. I still have lots of memories I wish I could forget, but it looks like we made it.

One more to add:<P>Male, 43<BR>Married 22 years<BR>Son 20; Daughter 17 (18 in Nov)<BR>Betrayed.<P>I never thought it would happen to me, either. We have had our ups and downs in marriage. I neglected W and she had physical affair with married co-worker. My neglect was in part due to her Love-Busters. Affair from 1/99 to 5/99. She ended it. OM did not want it to end and continued to follow her, even to her new employer. He has since left that job. He tried to force her to continue in the affair. She would not have it and told me about it. She was afraid for her safety. I had her tell her employer about OM. Employer was supportive and sent OM away when he showed up that week. This was only about 4 weeks ago. <P>W hit me with divorce plans week of our 22nd anniversary. I agreed to separation instead, to give us time. Have been in apartment now for 2 weeks. She met with attorney last week to file for divorce. She is emotionally withdrawn and does not want to work on marriage, even though she said ok to separation instead of divorce. <P>In a nutshell! Both of us are a little nuts now. <P>------------------<BR>Working to Resolve and Rebuild.

Here it goes....<P>Female<BR>~Age 34<BR>~betrayed/betrayer<BR>~Married 11 yrs...together 18 yrs<BR>~2 kids(4&8)<BR>He has been cheating on me since we were in high school. I have only one known proof of H's affair (contracted STD) in May '99. Major problems with communication, drugs and verbal/emotional abuse. I've been in an emotional affair with MM for 14 mos. It is still ongoing. Where is it going? Who knows...<p>[This message has been edited by Clare (edited August 16, 1999).]

ok here it goes.......<P>Female<BR>Betrayed<BR>27 years old<BR>H is almost 30<BR>5 year anniversary was in June<BR>6 years together<BR>2 kids<BR>H had an affair in April 99 (with his brother's wife)<BR>found out 1 week later because he told me<BR><P>------------------<BR> GOD,<BR>Grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change, COURAGE to change the things I can and the WISDOM to know the difference. <P>

Female, 46<BR>Married 9 1/2 years together 12<BR>3rd marriage fro me, 2nd for him<BR>4 kids(2 his, 2 mine) as of Friday only one at home<BR>Betrayed<P>Sadi it was just a freindship, some one to have a few beers with. Started Jan 99, got physical Feb99. Confronted him and he denied it in Mar 99. In May I told him I knew and had proof. He admitted it and said that since Mar he had tried to end it. I believe that since his timew with her decreased around then. Has been working very hard on our marriage. Recovery complicated by his alcoholism. Has seen her 1 time since May. And I keep very close tabs on him.

I'll bite-<P>Female 36yr old <BR>Found out H had affair 6 wks after it started<BR>H said it was emotional only, but found out only last week from OW it was more.<BR>2yr old daughter<BR>H moved out 6 weeks ago<BR>H doesn't want any part of me or daughter<BR>H just doesn't want to be married<BR>My 1st marriage- his 2nd<BR>H left 1st wife for 2nd wife<BR>Met me 6wks after 2nd marriage was over

Here goes....<P>Female<P>42 years young<P>betrayed (3 shortlived affairs and one long lasting mess)<P>Married 9 1/2 years<P>We have 3 children 8 6 5mo<P>I had 3 from before marriage 25 20 15<P>OW has H's child 7 1/2mo<P>Found out shortly after it started, OW moved across US and separated from her H, two years later shes back in the scene, after discovery H gets depressed, suicidal, moody, went from 1 year plan A, am currently in a type of plan B...Its been 4 1/2 years since beginning...<P>Affair is still in contact mode, I see H to let him spend time with kids/baby....Try being nice... Hugs acceptable for kids benifit, and always on best nicest behavior.<P>Don't know if anything will ever change, but am busy taking care of the *US* that I have left to take care of..... Me and Kids!!! My question in my mind is.... Was he that good of a husband/Father before all of this???<p>[This message has been edited by used2Bcozy (edited August 17, 1999).]

female<BR>30 yrs old<BR>betrayed<BR>married 7 yrs - together for 14 years, we have 3 kids 7,4 and 5 mo. old.<P>H and I didnt talk to eachother, his work came 1rst and my friends came first. There was alot of anger and resentment. I became pregnant (very unexpected) and he really withdrew from me. He went away for a week and met up w/an old girlfriend - I found out when he got home, told him to leave, during my pregnancy we slowly got closer. We moved back together when baby was born 3/99. We have such a different relationship - we are much closer than we ever were. I cant believe where my life was 1 yr ago and where it is today. <P>

-Female<BR>-Betrayed<BR>-43 (H 45)<BR>-One child (girl 6)<BR>-Married 14 years, cohabited for a total of 6 years before (incl. university residence)<P>Been a stay-at-home mom for five years. Currently searching for work. Husband worked(s) long hours and spent(ds) little time with family. We became distant in these years and lived together much like a brother and sister. <BR>Confronted him 7/1. Finally had solid evidence so he could no longer deny it. I told him to leave and he came back two days later. He pays the bills! Told him that there would have to be some effort to reconcile if he was to stay. Affair began in April? OW divorced or separated maybe. She is a client so he cannot sever all contact with her. <BR>Discovered a week ago that he is still calling her at home! I couldn't hide my distress about this and had to tell him. Not sure if I can continue with Plan A when I have these doubts!

Female<BR>age 31<BR>married 13yrs(married HS sweetheart @ 17yrs)<BR>3 daughters (5,7,9)<BR>Betrayed<P>First affair was 5 1/2 yrs ago while I was pregnant. H told me when OW broke it off and was gonna tell me.<P>Second affair was within the last year. Wasn't a realationship, just casual cybersex. Never met in person to my knowledge. Found a very graphic log file. They were planning to meet at a channel party, but it got cancelled.<P>Third affair was approx 6 mos ago. Cyber relationship. H was in love with her. I discovered a message about them breaking up. They met in person last month at a channel party. H says nothing happened.<P>Currently H is in a very close friendship that I fear may become an affair. Has daily internet and/or in person contact w/ OW.

Why not!<P>female<BR>age51<BR>married 32yrs<BR>betrayed<BR>affair lasted 12 yrs<BR>disclosed when OW decided she wanted her man! She busted him, just showed up at the house! <BR>never suspected, believed all his lies<P>Its been 2 1/2 years we've been trying to recover. He said good-bye to the OW that day and has tried to work on rebuilding trust ever sense<P>I'm the one who seems to still be struggling with the "whys?" Its funny how something like this can make your whole life look like one big farce! We will make it though!<P>------------------<BR>eyes wide open<BR>

Okay...in case anyone is still reading....<BR>-Female<BR>-42<BR>-Betrayed<BR>-Married 22 years next month<BR>-3 Kids (24, 19, 17) 1st grandchild on the way<BR>-Betrayed<P>H had numerous one night stands early in our marriage. I suspected, he denied, but he finally admitted them recently. He had an internet affair 6 years ago. Actually met with her several time, but denies sex. (not sure why, but I believe him!) Most recently, was caught kissing one of my best friends. They both deny it was anything more than "touchy-feely" but other people (including our children) think it went much further and feel it is there duty to tell me about it. This one has done more damage than the others, maybe because we never dealt with the others until now. Husband finally admitted everything and we are working to rebuild an "honest" relationship. Things are going well right now!

Female, Age 43<BR>Married: 17 years<BR>Betrayed<BR>H's affair started in September, 1996; he walked out on me in February of 1997.<BR>H, who is sterile, had an affair with a twice-divorced woman with a young daughter so that he could have a family of his own. He delayed the divorce for over a year and a half due to his apparent indecision on whether or not to marry her (but blamed me for the delay). He finalized our divorce in April of 1999. Plans to marry OW next month.

Male<BR>42<BR>Betrayed<BR>Married 20 years this Nov.<P>I saw my "EX" 12 years ago, no sex, fessed up and stopped immediately.<BR>I discovered her affair 2 years ago, she SAID it stopped. Love still very distant though, I should've KNOWN. I had a brief affair since I still felt she'd never come back to loving me again, it's over, she knows.<BR>Aug 14th, 1999, she admits she's been seeing him the whole time, 3 years now... and wants to leave.<P>

Female<BR>Age 59<BR>Betrayed<BR>Married 23 years<BR>10 children<BR>H had on-line affair that lasted 6 months. Felt very mixed emotions as he never saw or really touched her. He did however shut me out. Stop having any intimate relations with me. And the very worst was he stopped being my best friend. We are better but it is still hard. It has been almost 2 years and the road back is very hard.<P>------------------<BR>alleyoop<BR>

Female<BR>Age:33<BR>Betrayed<BR>Married 3 yrs.<BR>No Children<P>H started affair 12/98, I discovered it 3/99. We separated for 2 months, I was planning to divorce him as he moved in and signed a lease with ow after I kicked him out. Used Harleys concepts including plan B.. worked well.. H moved back in to our home 6/8/99.. H is in counseling, goes to church with me and we are recovering better than can be expected.

32 years old<BR>female<BR>betrayed<BR>married 11 yrs, together 16<P>married high school sweetheart<P>H's first affair 7 yrs ago. (sexual 2 months + emotional 2yrs) disclosed 4 mths ago.<P>H's 2nd affair - emotional, lasted 12 mths, disclosed a few weeks ago...currently in withdrawal pretty bad - he still works with her.

Male<BR>Betrayed<BR>42 years old<BR>married 3 years (last week)<BR>h 30 years old<P>First affair happened while we were engaged. Got married 4 months after (didn't know she was still writing to him until 2 wks prior). Second affair was 1 week prior to our first anniversary, lasted three months until he broke it off, but it was 90% a telephone affair. Third and last began 5 months ago and is continuing now, though she claims they are at the "just friends" stage. We have been separated since it began.

-Male<BR>-34 (next month)<BR>-Married 12 years<BR>-3 Kids (12, 9, 6)<BR>-Betrayed<P>W had an affair that lasted 3 months, I had no idea that she was having an affair, nothing like this has ever happened before, I have never been unfaithful to her, I was totally devastated. My W admitted everything when I found out, she is sooo sorry, W had already stopped seeing OM. Things are going OK at the moment (5 months after discovery) we are working on rebuilding our marriage.<BR>

It took me 3 Pepsis and a pack of Cigarettes to read all of these!<P>Female<BR>Age 50 (handling it well)<BR>betrayed<BR>Married 30 years<BR>2 Children (24 & 27)<BR>Empty Nesters<BR>In Recovery 18mo.<BR>Doing Great!!!<BR>Soon to be Grandparents!!!!!! <P>------------------<BR>"TIME" :)<P><BR>

Okay well here i am.......<BR>36 years old married for 17 years with 2 kids<BR>I live in canada<BR>Betrayer<BR>Do i feel bad.......you bet i do cause hubby didn't deserve it!!!!!!<BR>Met a guy from icq we have talked almost 1 year and spent 3 days together,he is single and great,talked daily for months on phone...<BR>Not sure where we are headed but i love him with all my heart.

ok here goes:<P>Female ... 28 .. been married 10 years on August 15th<P>3 kids .. 2 girls and a boy<P>Betrayer ... both through online affairs started 8 years into our marriage ... and a physical one a month and a half ago<P>married to mickeyddd who posts on here too .. we are working on our relationship and have been for the past month .. got a long way to go .. but this weekend going on a marriage encounter through the church which we both believe is gonna help us even more tremendously ... : )<P>------------------<BR>Alliy

Better late than never.<P>Male<BR>Age 41<BR>Betrayed<BR>Married 19 yrs <BR>Two children 9 & 3<P>W has rejected my Plan A work and says she is not in love w/me and does not want to work to regain that love. Physical part of affair is over, but she sees OM 2-3 times a week at her workplace. She is looking for an apartment and intends to file for divorce; however, want's to experience "being free" before she makes a final decision.<P>

Female<BR>25<BR>Betrayed<BR>Married 2 1/2 years<BR>Married 1 month when cheating started<BR>H says he loves me and wants to work out our marriage but keeps cheating.<BR>Debating on leaving....

Male<BR>Betrayed<BR>Thought I was the baby here until Latrice posted. <BR>Age 26<BR>Married 2 yrs.<P>Wife was involved with an old friend, was physical only one night(at least that is what she tells me) We are together and working on our marriage, and going to couseling, things seem to be better but its still a rollercoaster of emotions. I know that no marriage is perfect but my dreams of having something pretty close was shattered along with my heart. I know that God has something special planned for my W and I, We just have to be patient and work together with God to make our marriage something that we both never imagined.<P>God Bless all of You.

Betrayed<BR>Married 1 year (2nd for both)<BR>No kids from earlier marriage <BR>H went 'distant in May' - found out in July. Met OW in a class in England in May<BR>I'm 44; he's 52; wants to be a father and move to england to be a father to the OW's 2 year old (in the past, can't stand kids)<BR>He's staying with a friend; we check in almost daily<BR>Doing a modified Plan a, but now I'm wondering if I really want to work on it.