I have been invited to attend a new Bible class on Sunday mornings where I go to church. <P>I am dissatisfied with the current topic in my regular class - parenting and the guy is talking about the same stuff he talks about every time he teaches our class. "Why we need to teach our children about God". Well, I've heard this material a gazillion times and I'm over it. Enough!<P>So, today I was talking to the teacher of this other class and he said I should come to his class. I looked at him like he was being ridiculous - I'm 15-20 years older than most of his target class members, 'young marrieds and young professionals'. He said that, if anyone gave me a hard time about it, I could simply tell them I had been invited to attend as a resource person from the office staff - as I do work in the church office and the class is being taught by the Family and Involvement Minister, this is reasonable.<P>So, what is the Spontaneous Combustion element, you ask?<P>The class topic is "Love, Sex, Romance, and Marriage" and the book studied is Song of Solomon. For someone who always loved sex - even if h didn't - this might be too much. I might just spontaneously combust in the middle of class. I don't miss the x anymore. However, I still miss his money and the little bit of sex we had.<P>In reality there are a few other things I miss. Mostly related to the more masculine elements of domestic life. He did the yard work and kept the house and car in relatively good repair - although everytime someone has to repair a plumbing or electical thing beyond my scope, they fuss about the unique techniques used in wiring, etc. And he was some help around the house. And it was easier to give the children more attention when he was at home<P><BR>But, I don't know if I can do this. Maybe I could go and be the person who talks about reality. Maybe I could learn something and do it better the next time.<P>Or maybe I might just explode in the middle of class.<P>[This message has been edited by cinderella (edited March 19, 2001).]<p>[This message has been edited by cinderella (edited March 26, 2001).]

I feel your pain about the sex issue. I feel like I went from being a jack rabbit to being a three toed sloth. I feel envy when I see couples walking hand and hand or kissing. I don't know that I could sit in on a discussion about sex without having to excuse myself to wipe the sweat off my face. Could it help for future relationships. For me I think that my emotional cost would be too much to pay. Interesting thought though.<P>Love, Bill

I agree with you, going without the physical touches of someone whom you sometimes seemed addicted to is heartwrenching especially when thoughts of that other person being with someone else drives you crazy, especially when that person tells you it is there intention to get involved with someone better than you in their eyes,<P>my X is extremely attractive, and that has made it even more difficult everywhere we go women stop and talk to him and tell him he has a nice body, and they act like I'm not even standing there, this is over and over again, and I try to play it off, but deep down inside I knew that it would only be a matter of time before he would start responding to all of these women literally throwing themselves at him,<P>he truly is sexual looking.

Well, when was the last time you heard of someone spontaneously combusting from sexual desire in the middle of Bible class. This could make the class really exciting!

Your royal highness,<P>I want to be the person who explains to the minister why you went up in flames!!! PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!<P>(Clearing throat): Well, you see, it's like this. Do you remember 1975? Well, Jane-Elise does, because it was the last time she . . .<P>Haha. <P>It would be funny if it weren't so maddening, wouldn't it?<P>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

<BR>Go for it! But remember to take pictures .<P>Honestly, if I could find a good church close to home that had services in English... and they offered this topic, I'd go.... just so I could remember what it is I'm missing!<P>Smooches

This could be really interesting. I don't know when I've ever been "all hot and bothered" at church.<P>But just watch. I'll go and it won't be half as titilating as I'm anticipating. But what kind of video presentation would you do on Song of Solomon? We're talking about pure desire and passion of a man for a woman. If it gets to graphic, I might seriously explode. Or at least have to fan myself. <P>If nothing else, I'd probably blush fifteen shades of red.

Hmmmmm.<P>Sounds interesting! But, I think it would depress me.

OH! OH! Your majesty,<P>You are going to HAVE to get one of those lovely, Southern belle fans with which to fan yourself! Maybe a wide-brimmed hat as well. Then you can fan yourself, and blush and hide behide the shade of the hat. <P>Perhaps you could bring icy cold lemonade or mint juleps! Yipee--it IS spring, you know!<P><BR>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

Cinderella,<P>KABOOM!!!!!!<P> <P>Ok, so it's been a while! <P>Mitzi

Oh, one more thing.<P>I'm serious, this is not a joke. The Song of Solomon thing doesn't start till April 1. But I don't think this is a joke. Ken's telling 60-plus people about this class. <P>The good thing is that, if I get too distressed by it all. I can leave for another class.<P>CJ - I guess I could hide under a hat and behind a fan. I know there is a whole language that goes with use of a fan but I don't "speak" it. Do you know anyone who does? Anyway, there probably isn't a signal for "I'm about to explode. Can we change the topic?"

you guys,<P>I'm sitting here squirming in my chair......<P>It's been a while.....<P>The thought of someone hugging me, holding me, kissing me, oh sigh oh sigh...............<P>Where's the classs being held? Qantas could probably get me there in time........<P>we could have joint spontaneous combustion........<P>oh boy, this thread has the capacity to get veeerrrry veeeerrrrry naughty...........<P>I think I'll leave it until I get to meet you all in person, so nothing is left half said!!!!!!!!<P>Jo

Bonnet - the class is in Nashville, Tennessee. I am sure Qantas can get you here - along with a little help from some other airlines.<P>Wouldn't some good (as in high quality), regular (as in occuring with a bit of regularity time-wise), guilt-free sex be nice? I swear, the only things I really miss about doofus are his money and sex - not that we had much of either but we had more than a pittance of money and sporadic sex. Both of which are more than I have now.<P>And the spin I'm hearing right now says that this is not going to be the sometimes heard line that this book is an allegory for God's love for Israel. That it really is about a man and a woman. <P>I could get excited just thinking about it. <P>For those who can't make it to Virginia Beach - if you want to come to Nashville, I'll see if I can borrow all the videos and we can see what we're missing. <P>K-A-B-O-O-M!!!! <BR>K-A-B-O-O-M!!!! <BR>K-A-B-O-O-M!!!! <P> <P><BR>

Just some advice:<P>1)Make sure you turn your pager off of vibrate while your in the class!!!! <P>2) Bring a sweater in case you ar wearing a tight shirt and the its cool in the room. <P>3) Don't have a confused look on your face during ANY part of the discussion<P><BR>4) Hope they don't serve food that intensifies your desires (kiwi's, banana's, cucumbers) <P>5) Keep repeating the Lords prayer. <P>Honestly I am sure that the topic and discussions will be monitored by skilled people and you will actually be able to laugh (and even giggle a bit )We are all human with human needs. <P><BR>[This message has been edited by Trs (edited March 23, 2001).]<p>[This message has been edited by Trs (edited March 23, 2001).]

Well, I guess I'll go this Sunday and see what they're talking about. Then next Sunday, the fun begins! <P>Surely I can do this and not blush. I think.<P>Shall I take notes and post them here?<BR>

Cinderella,<P>Why, please do take the notes and post them. The Bible, particularly some books of the Old Testament, contains some of the most beautiful love stories ever written. Many a romance novel and many a melodramatic movie script was based on a Biblical love story, or at least on a rehash of story plot. <P>If you know where to look, it contains one of the earliest sex manuals ever written. It is also the greatest collection of one liners ever compiled. An old time comedian, W.C. Fields used several quotations as punch lines. And back in the fifties there was a movie series called Francis the talking Mule, an idea taken from Balaam's [censored].<P>I would be fun to hear some of the viewpoints taken from the song of Solomon. Go to it girl!<P>Bumper

OH KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM KABOOM<P>whew, glad I got that out of the way....<P>Now, what were you saying about good and regular???????<P>I flew the other day with a girl who talks nothing but. She's not dirty, or a tramp, she just has the capacity to be very very funny, and honest (sometimes too much so)<P>I have never laughed so much in all my life, well, maybe the bath bombs came close!!!!!!<P>She talked about **it** from 4 30 in the morning until we got back at 2 pm Almost non-stop.<P>Like I said she's one of those very rare people who can talk about **it** in a funny way, not slu**y or cheap. She's in a commited relationship, has only had 1 boyfriend who is away at the moment and she is staying faithful.<P>It was one of those situational things, you had to be there to see the facial expressions, the hand movements (she's Italian) the body movements etc etc etc. Makes me smile now some of the things she said........<P>Oh well, oh well....... don't know what to say now. Enjoy your classes, <P>talk soon, have a nice night<P>Jo

Well, my ADD brain won't remember enough of what was said for long enough for me to pass it on here unless I make notes and I'm not sure really making notes would make me look cool. I'll see what I can remember. I guess I could offer to help the teacher by preparing a class handout. <P>This should be interesting. <P>Yesterday, the minister's sermon was entitled 'The Truth About Values and Morality' and my 10-yr-old daughter usually reads through the sermon. But she sat up and took notice when he said "......If we are to be faithful, we will keep sexuality sacred." I'd bet you a dollar that her notice of this one word stemmed from NSync's song that has a line about "I don't want to be another victim of your sexuality." <P>The big idea was that so many have turned sex into a sport instead of a spiritual matter between two people. That rather than a recreational activity, it is a marital privilege.<P>Bonnet, I found your recipe for bath bombs the other day. I printed it out when I saw it on the other topics board last summer. You say these are a true experience? Is this something I need to make and try out? <P>I like what you said about the woman you flew with. <P>The best compliment I ever heard anyone pay a woman was paid by Tom Sullivan - the blind man who was the subject of the movie "If You Could See What I Hear". He was the keynote speaker at a conference I attended and, in the middle of his speech, he stopped and said something to the effect of, "There's a lady sitting right at the front, near the center. And I want you to know that you have the sexiest laugh I have ever heard." Apparently he could pick this one woman out from the whole crowd and she had a very natural, sincere laugh and was unashamed to use it. This happened about 15 years ago and I haven't forgotten it to this day.<P>

.<p>[This message has been edited by bleubelle (edited April 02, 2001).]

oops! Wrong thread! <p>[This message has been edited by bleubelle (edited March 26, 2001).]