H filed the divorce and here's what he wants:<BR>1. full custody of my child<BR>2. pay for his attorney<BR>3. give me only visitation rights<BR>4. pay alimony for him<P>I was served last Thursday. So, I called H up and left him a msg at work to call me back regarding this D. He called me back on Sunday noon, saying "ignore the paper. just sign it. I will not take your child from you, or anything I requested on the legal paper. you have to learn how to trust me again". We've been separated for a year now and now he's telling me to trust him. H is not with anyone neither I am. I'm just confused and fustrated. I did get an attorney already to review over the summon but I don't understand what he wants. I asked him, if that's not what he wants then talk to his attorney and change it. He wouldn't bc it'll cost him more $$. Should I trust him or should I continue to get an attorney and continue with the legal process? I want to give him the trust as well too, but loosing my child is something I can't cope with ... We can't come to an agreement. Every time we talked, he ended arguing or yelling at me saying I don't know what I'm talking about...Any suggestion???<P>Thanks in advance.

DO NOT SIGNNNNNNNNNN. Get lawyer. If this divorce in going to happen you HAVE to look out for your childs and your best interest. DO NOT TRUST A MAN believe I am a man and I wouldn't trust me when it comes to finance or kids. I want money and I want my kids.<P>Hope all goes well.<P>Love, Bill<P>P.S. I said "trust me" once to my wife, nine months later we had our fist child.

Davy,<P>Trust is a two-way street, and it sounds like your husband is driving a giant steamroller down this street with you at the end.<P>Have an attorney review the papers. Unless you're willing to give up rights to your child, and you want to pay for his legal costs and alimony, I would suggest that you not sign that document at all. I can't see why anyone in their right mind would sign a document like this.<P>If you don't want the divorce, than you should refuse to sign, and get a lawyer who can protect your rights while you still work towards reconciliation.

You need to <B>protect</B> yourself legally (and/or financially)... <P>I know you are having a lawyer look at the papers now...<BR>...and please don't sign them... no matter what!<P>You might conisder a different attorney... a better attorney!<BR>I usually make the recommendation of finding a <B>good</B> attorney. A good place to start off is at the <A HREF="http://lawyers.martindale.com/marhub/form/by.html" TARGET=_blank>Martindale-Hubbell Lawyer Search</A> site. Do a search within your county... look for only "family law" specialists(>80% in divorce/custody/etc.)... make sure they do a lot of "family law committee work"... if they know the judges all the better... You can normally find a few that will give initial counseling free of charge.<BR><A HREF="http://www.uslaw.com" TARGET=_blank>USLaw.com</A> (an alternative search site)<P> <P>Jim

Davy,<P>Why on earth would he have that written up.....tell you to ignore it and sign it anyway.If he has no intention of doing any of those things that he mentioned???? <P>That is a "LEAGAL DOCUMENT".....you sign it....your toast.<P>Let your ATTY advise you on what to do.<P>If your H can't talk to you in a respectful manor,then you should let your ATTY handle all the communication.<P>If in fact that this is not what you want,then don't sign anything.If your ATTY is advising you to do so,then get another one.<P>Tough poop that your H would have to have his ATTY draw up new papers.....and spend more money,he should have thought about that before he had it done.<P>I'm sorry if this is coming across as angry,not my intention,but it does chap my hide when men think that you are just gonna "roll over" and "trust" them.<P>Go w/your gut feelings and what you think is the right thing to do.[that has never failed me.]<P>Good luck<P>Gina <P><P>------------------<BR>"If we deny love that is given to us,if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss,then our lives will be empty,our loss greater!"-----Anonymous----

Agree with all the other replies here.. DO NOT sign those papers. They are possibly legally binding and do undo them will create a huge attorney fee for you.<P>Get thyself to your own attorney and have the proper reply made to his attorney.<P>Trust him after being separated for a year???? No.. don't buy into it.<BR>

My reply is probably superfluous, but I'm making it anyway: signing those papers would be exceedingly foolish. Having lawyers hash out details <I>is</I> expensive, but if money is a concern, then try mediation.<BR>

Thanks everyone for the reply.<P>I totally agree with everyone. I don't trust him a bit. So that's why I'm getting an attorney to reponse to his request. I don't care if I have to clean up my bank account, I will do whatever is right for me and my daughter. Unfortunately, he'll be the one who will be losing more than paying the attorney fee.<P>My atty suggested me to get a restraining order bc he had threatened to kill me and my baby and my family. Before, I've been always the one who let him step all over me. I was the one who makes the mistake and I always thought I deserve whatever he wanted...but now it's going over the line. I must fight back. I'm not going to let him take anything from me anymore. Thanks everyone.<P>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Davy:<BR><B>My atty suggested me to get a restraining order bc he had threatened to kill me and my baby and my family.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Huh? And he thinks you should <I>trust</I> him? To do what? Make your deaths painless?<P>I take back my suggestion about mediation.<BR>