We split, or actually he left, I still want the relationship he says never, and we're still having sex, we still eat out, we still go to the park and the beach together, we go to concerts, we carpool and kiss everyday as he drops me off at work and home everyday, but everytime I bring up getting back together he says no waaaaaaaaaay. He calls me at work like he always did, he calls me for advice on his business he says we he is able to purchase property this summer he will let me and my son move in a section of the dwelling so that I can share the mortgage and have more room, but he says he wants to meet other women and start a family and move on, <P>do you think I'm there until he does that, I'm starting to feel like once he does find someone, and it won't be long because he is SOOOOOOOO FINE. then he'll just act like I don't exist, I keep thinking that maybe some way some how there is still a chance because it's like he moved out but we still do a lot of the things we did together everyday, we even go to the gym together, and he still smacks me on the behind like he owns, me, I want him to come back home so bad but he always is so adamant about saying no,<P>What should I think?

I don't know if I can answer what your ex is doing, but me personally, yes, I'd feel used. I'm not too familiar with your background yet, so I'm not sure if your in Plan A or not. <P>Without knowing the whole thing, it sounds like he is "not" seeing anyone? It sounds like you have kind of gone backwards from being together, to almost like dating again?<P>How are you feeling about this? It sounds like you are still meeting most if not all his needs, but your not getting all of yours met?<P>Dana<BR>

DanaB<P>You are absolutely on the money, it is the strangest thing I don't know what he's doing, he is a very busy person, and he won't say where we stand, he just says he is not going to block what GOD has in store for him and he thinks that means not purchasing the relationship we had and going on to be open to meet others women, it is funny, BUT NOT FUNNY, everytime we go and hang out on the weekends, women approach him and act as though I'm not even standing there. He is more into his business than anything, I just never really new what I had until it was gone, this is the only male I've been involved with that I can say is really a MAN, and I know once he's gone it's gonna be hard as hell to replace that.

So are you guys married or not? <P>In a way, I can relate to what you are saying , when you meet what you perceive is a great guy, you get afraid to lose him. <P>One of the biggest mistakes is to think he's irreplaceable. Of course we need to heal before moving on, but the PERFECT man, wants us for our intelligence, companionship and the total package. He is totally happy with us just as we are and there should be no need to look elsewhere.<P>Its hard to put that in perspective when your afraid of losing someone. I'm afraid of losing someone right now too, so I'm not thinking at my clearest.<P>What if you left this relationship exactly the way it is, but you cut out the sex? Do you think he'd still be hanging out with you?<P>Dana<BR>

I don't know, I cannot seem to break myself from initiating the sex in the first place, it's hard to let go because without it I get irritable and moody, but I'm not the kind who will go out and find someone to sleep with just so my body can be satisfied, I just crave this man like his penis is gold or somethings,<P>honestly I don't know if he would want to hang around without getting the sex, I would venture to say yes, but he is very good, it won't be long before he moves on and that would create and entirely different situation because women get attached to the men we're screwing, no we're not married but damn we were so close, <P>I hear you but I don't think this one is replaceable. He is so incredible, I just want my MAN BAAAAAAAAAck.<BR>

It appears that he is meeting your needs, but you are not meeting his top emotional needs. Can you figure out which ones you are not meeting for him?

Yes I know what they are that is why I don't put everything off on him, I know where I am weak and it's working on instead of letting go all together, I know that there ain't nothing out there work looking for relationships are hard and require communication, and this is where I fail, my communication skills are very poor but I recognize that and I've been working on it, do you think I can salvage this relationship. or do you think when someone is adamant you just about forget it?

I think each individual and set of circumstances are different. There are a lot of BS on the board that WS NEVER came back. There are some who do. I know women who left their man and won't go back. <P>Did you two live together? How long were you together? Kids? Ever talked of marriage?<P>Dana<BR>

I just want another chance why can't someone forgive someone once for a mistake they made?<P>Why is harboring so many things against me, I'm not perfect, it's almost as though he's looking for someone perfect.