Hi guys,<P>just a quick post.<P>Lately he has been so cold, and his attitude when speaking to me either in person or on the phone is so cold it's arctic.<P>His attitude is that of an A class ar**hole. Sorry but that's just about the only word that will adequately describe him at the moment. <P>I have NO idea why.<P>After the last 'incident' things have settled down. We only speak when discussing the children, and that is done civilly and almost friendly. I had his birthday party here in late Feb, because the children wanted to do it. We had a nice night, birthday cake, sparklers etc, and he kissed me on the lips as he left (after playing with my bottom!!!!!!!!)<P>I have given him NO grief about anything. No smart comments about his gf and no questions about his life. I've just let him be and left him alone.<P>I'm not antagonising him. I did ask him the other day if something was wrong, and had I done anything, as I was sensing an attitude from him. He replied that I was being over sensitive..!!!! Ooookay, I left it at that. I didn't say anything else.<P>What do you make of this attitude.? It beats me.<P>hope you all have a nice night<P>Jo<P>

Hi Jo,<P>Thanks for the reply in my post.<P>Where are you nowadays?...<P>Plan A, Plan B, something else?<P>It is a struggle when dealing with insensitive WSs.<P>My love...<P> <P>Jim

Hi Jim,<P>where am I? Gads, what a question??? Pick a place any place and I'll be there!!!! Up, down, spinning around!!!!!<P>As far as plan A or B goes, I'm doing neither. Plan A worked but only when he didn't have a gf, plan B didn't work for us because of the children.<P>So, I've just let him go. Given him his freedom so to speak. Left him alone to do what it is that he needs to do. Not that he needed to be *given* his freedom, he just took it.....<P>I'm just trying to set a good example for the girls. After the last incident which really frightened me (when I hit him), I woke up. I told myself that I needed to be the one that they modelled their own lives on. For them to do that, I had to set the highest possible standard that I can.<P>I don't badmouth their dad, (I never have to them), I only tell them that he loves them with all his heart and soul.<BR>I will not use my children as pawns in this awful scenario. My revenge, if I can use that word, is to live my life the best way I know how, and to be happy. And I am happy at the moment. I've said goodbye to my marriage and the years that I had with him. Even tho I enjoyed my life with him, I loved him, and I never wanted the divorce, he chose otherwise. And he's not someone that I would be interested in dating now. He has changed so much, and is not the person that I knew and loved. Having said that, I also tell my girls that I will always love their Daddy, because without him, I wouldn't have them!!! That seems to keep them happy.<P>So, that's where I'm at. Just living my life to the fullest (without dating) and being happy.<P>It's not a conscious decision to not date. It just hasn't happened. I'm not looking, and to be honest, I don't want to look. I'm enjoying this time on my own, getting in touch with myself, and spending so much quality time with my girls, my parents, my sister, my extended family and my friends.<P>I'm busy at work and uni has started back again. sometimes I just need an extra 10 hours in the day!!! I'm sure all us single parents can relate to that one!!!<P>I also firmly believe in what will be, will be. I'm getting in touch with my spiritual side which has always been there but now I pay more attention to it. I'm also finding that I can pray again. Do you remember a while ago I posted that I couldn't do it (pray) anymore. Just could not pray. I think I lost my faith. After everything else that had happened over some years, now my husband has run off too...... How could you do that to me God???<P>Well. I'm finding that I'm praying more than ever, giving thanks for everything that I have, and praying harder than ever. Not for anything in particular for me, but for my friends, and for my family. Just for Him to keep my family and friends safe, well, and happy.<P>So, again, that's where I'm at. Quite a nice place to be after the turmoil of the last 4 years. It's been almost 2 years for me now since he had his affair, and I've waited so long to be at this point. Now that I'm here, I'm going to savour it. I worked bloody hard to get here!!!!!!!!!<P>This is what I hope for you. And pray for you to be here at this point too.<BR>You will.<P>My thoughts and love are with you. I was on the way to Melbourne the other day thinking about you..... wondering how you were.<P>take care of you, and keep on being the wonderful *you* that you are.<P>love and hugs<P>Jo

Don't you mean Antarctic? <P>So he's a sodding ar****e...You just keep doing what your doing...<P>Me it's all I can do not to explode in my pedifile ex's face...I just smile and act nice <P>Tell him to keep his hands off that bumm!! <P>Bill

Hey Bill,<P>good to see you.<P>Do I mean Antarctic????? Never was very good with my sense of direction. Thank the lucky stars I'm not the pilot!!!<P>As for keeping his hands off my butt, you know what? When he did it, I just froze. I thought, OMG, this is REVOLTING!!!<BR>I just stood there and willed it to end. It reminded me of his dad doing it. Yep, his dad used to 'pat' me on the bumm too....revolting revolting revolting....<P>oh god, that feels better. I just puked!!!!!!!<P>how are you doing.? Well I hope.<P>Isn't it hard sometimes to be friendly civil and polite to them. I just wish I didn't have to deal with him so often. But I do, and deal with it I will.<P>Any mail yet?? Just asking??<P>love and hugs to you<P>Jo