I came back here a few weeks ago because I felt that despite my current situation, or perhaps because of it, I might be able to offer insight borne of my experience.<P>I received an amazing amount of support, and also some criticism, which was expected. I received a bit of email from old MB friends, and it was divided about as evenly as the responses to my thread.<P>I have been told to "live life for today" and "put everything into this relationship so you don't have to go through what you went through before" ... to "go back to David" (my ex-H) and "do the ‘right thing'" and, and, and... everything in between. <P>This morning I read a post and was compelled to answer, and before I knew it, I was comparing infidelity to a hurricane. Having been on both sides of it, I think I have an unfortunate advantage in understanding. I have realized that, like the hurricane, infidelity (or rather the infidel) spins around, out of control, causing untold damage. Some will watch in horror as it approaches, some will protect themselves, some even chase them down... but the one constant is that after it is over, there is damage, sometimes irreparable damage. I have been a hurricane... and I have caused damage. I have been on the other side too... watching in horror, but not knowing what to do... All I know for sure is that the hurricanes ripped my house down... no, not just the house, but the foundation too... and I have moved somewhere else.<P>Bellevue wrote a wonderful response in Recovery about the pouring out of our souls on these boards... about feeling safe because we are anonymous... for those of us who have been here a long time, and who have been in contact with our MB-friends offlist, we are no longer unknown... we are friends... and we care about each other. I have spilled out my secrets, my truths... and I am no longer anonymous... I am Sheryl and I made some horrific mistakes in my life. I have used my real name, my ex-H's real name, even at times my children's real names. I treated this place as a solice where my friends resided, a safe port in the storm... a place where I would find love, despite my mistakes. <P>I believe that everything happens for a reason, and I came back here for a reason. Maybe I needed some hugs, maybe I needed a kick in the pants - - I got both. Maybe I just needed a listening ear. Maybe someone read what I wrote and said, "I am not alone"... <P>I think though, that I came back for some closure.<P>There are those of you who I have hurt over the last two years, by careless words and judgements... and for that I apologize. I am not a judgmental person by nature... and I have found out (through experience) that when I say, "I would NEVER do that" ... it will be the thing that is thrown in my face the next time around. <P>I wouldn't want anyone to go through what I have been through in the last two years. It's a hell of my making, with a little help from my ex-H and some "friends"... but it is my hell. It is my desire to make it something better. I wish the same for all of us.<BR><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck

It's a little early in the season for Hurricane Sheryl. Are you sure you're not Abigail or Becky??? <P>I'm sorry that I chewed you up on your previous post. I'm not angry with you---just concerned that you're cycling right through the same storm again.<P>God bless you, Sheryl.

Sheryl,<P>Don't really have much to say...[dang,that's a shock!!] <P>But giving hugs is my specialty!! <P>{{{{{{{{{{{Sheryl}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Hope this helps!<P>I know you will be fine!<P>Hang in there Girl!<P>Love ya <P>Gina <P>------------------<BR>"If we deny love that is given to us,if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss,then our lives will be empty,our loss greater!"-----Anonymous----

((((Sheryl))))<P>I am not really one to judge, we all make mistakes. We all have been flamed for honesty, and at times felt uncomfortable here. <P>I hope you find some peace in this all.<P>Hugs, Dana<BR>

Hi <B>K</B>,<P>I don't know what to say. <P>I guess, first -- thank you for the apology. That means so much to me. Honestly.<P>Secondly, I do appreciate your concern... hmmm... the idea of cycling through the storm... how about if I just say, God, I hope not!<P><B>Gina and Dana</B>,<P>Gotta love those hugs!! <P>((((Gina)))) <P>Gina, you seem so happy. You have that illusive peace I'm striving for... I'm thrilled for you!<P>((((Dana))))<P>I'm glad your BF called. At least you know where he was coming from, eh? Yes, it's so difficult to begin again, isn't it?!<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck

Hey Sheryl--<P>Since I have not been thru a quarter of what you have, I do not feel like offering advice. I just stopped in to offer one thought. A hurricane may be a very destructive force. It is certainly not something we would want to have strike our lives, and it is devastating--no question there. <P>But after the hurricane ends, gradually the debris is cleared and new things are built. So, even in the midst of surveying the damage, consider that it has a hidden opportunity---one of building something new and strong & beautiful. I hope that your future will be that way.<P>Hugs & prayers--<P>Kathi<p>[This message has been edited by kam6318 (edited March 23, 2001).]

Hi Kathi,<P>What a lovely thought! Thank you!<P>...and boy, I hope you're right!<P>Hugs back atcha (((((Kathi)))))<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<BR>(a bit worse for the wear, but hanging in there)<P><B>Life <I>is</I> difficult</B>.<BR><I>The Road Less Traveled</I><BR>~M. Scott Peck