My wife and I have been married for 6 months now and she is 3 months pregnant. She moved down to where I live which is a 7 hour drive. Well we have learned that she does not want to be here and wants to have a family where she is from also being around her family and friends instead of mine. After 3 months I felt I was compromising by taking another job in a different city about 2 hours away from mine and closer to hers. Her anger had built up so much that hitting me became involved which I was not going to stand for therefore got her parents involved to get her away from me so that I did not react in such a horrible manner. Other things that were continuous arguments was her continuously asking me everyday after work if I had messed around, or phone calls that when answered would hang up her thinking it is another woman calling. Now she is saying she does not want a divorce and that I should come up to where she wants to live after I get situated financially..she also states that she sacrificed everything and that I have not sacrificed anything at all but yet I feel that I have by moving away from my family and friends to a city that neither one of us knew anyone.<p>I feel with the hitting and also her picking up knives I have no other choice but to end it even though there is our child on the way.

Your wife sounds very insecure and will probably be miserable wherever she lives. Physical abuse is a very BIG love buster and women can be just as abusive as men in that catagory although we mostly hear of men doing it. Sounds like your marriage is in big trouble from the start. Did you know her well before you married her? If you truly love each other and there is no doubt then counceling would be highly recomended. It seems as if there is more to your problems than just merely making a move. I encourage you to pray and seek support from an unbiased source. Getting family involved is no good at times. A pastor, or someone who can sincerely help you...both of you work through this. God bless the three of you.<p>[This message has been edited by hopeful2 (edited 02-02-99).]

PSJ--<p>You say that your wife is pregnant? Well, speaking from experience, I must say this.....PREGNANT WOMEN ARE CRAZY!!!! When I was pregnant, I was homicidal!! I too beat up the baby's father, a fellow Marine, my brother who is twice my size (he tried to take my Cheetos)an old roommate and the list goes on and on. I was so bad that the people in my unit (I was in the Marines) would not speak to me unless I spoke first and then they still treaded lightly. Back then, I would have cursed the Pope out just for general purposes. And for the life of me I could not tell you why!<p>The truth is that during pregnancy all kinds of hormones are literally racing through a woman's system and the mood swings are severe. I bet if you asked her what she was angry about she couldn't tell you.<p>However, a new day does dawn usually around the sixth month. When these hormones start to "slow down" and the body begins to regulate them. She is going to turn into the sweetest thing, the glow will return to her face and knives won't be her best friend anymore. Yeah, sure there were still a lot of people afraid of me. But things did take a turn for the better. Hold on and try to be patient. I'm sure your wife realizes that this is hard for you but honestly, there is nothing that she can do herself to control these mood swings. Her OB may be able to help the both of you. The next time she goes to the doctor go with her, tell him about the time she tried to make pate' out of your liver. The beautiful homicidal maniac is carrying your child and I know you love each other. It's just that right now, Charles Manson is her hero. Maybe he/she will be able to give you some suggestions. Until then, go to Sunny's Surplus and purchase a helmet and flack jacket and learn how to run!<p>My prayers are with you, truly!<p><br>P.S. You think you've heard her call you some pretty interesting names now....wait until she's in labor! Oh, and one more thing, when she's in labor DO NOT give her your hand to hold while she's having a contraction (I made a mistake and broke my nurses hand and my nurse was a MAN).<p>

Well my wife and I have talked now over the phone for two days in a normal fashion. We have talked about the things that we BOTH have done wrong and have stated that no matter what we cannot repeat it. She states that she does not want divorce and that she does want a family with me. The issue of her wanting to be in her home town sounds to me like she is waiting for our child to be born and then to go ahead and move back with me. But then again I bring it up and try to get her to say what she wants but that conversation just goes away as if we are both ignoring it. The way she is going to feel about it is she feels that she has already moved away once and we tried it and it didn't work so now it's my turn. Problem is she is from a town of about 50,000 meaning with my profession there is not a job to support the family in a decent manner. The other problem I have is her not wanting to at least attempt to be in a friendly relationship with my parents when you turn it around I don't mind sitting and talking with hers I rarely feel uncomfortable with anybody. Her statement to this is that well her parents are cool parents and that everyone likes them. Of course I think who doesn't feel that way about their parents unless they were not brought up well. Supposedly our past topics for arguments are over with and we have made a deal to not bring them up in the future to throw in each others face. We have decided we are going to try and work this out with her in her town and me here with visits when possible;at least until our child is born. <p>I am not sure if this is a mistake for the both of us or not and we both fear repeating the past. I have my parents, brother, and friends telling me don't go back! I company offers free counseling and I think I am going to set up a time this week to go talk more. I know to myself I am always willing to make changes in myself...but I fear she will not trully make changes in herself. The other thing to factor in is I feel I am not getting her true feelings about everything because of her being pregnant...I then think maybe we just cannot handle being around each other while she is pregnant and that everything will be normal after.<p>What are yall's thoughts.

Maybe what princess says is true and when the baby is born your wife will return to normal. At least wait and see. When you love someone there is always compromise. The bible says ....leaving your family and cleaving unto your mate and becoming "one". If your wife truly loves you...she will be willing to meet you half way. Again God bless you and dont forget to pray.