He's not physically abusive but her is mentally abusive, which feels even worse, I'm so tired from dealing with someone who is playing kick ball with my emotions, and telling me there is something wrong with me it's not even funny, and I'm beginning to have thoughts that I wish evil on this person, <P>he had the nerve to tell me the only thing I could do for him is work, for free at that, as his secretary, but he couldn't help me with my business............<P>it's definitely time to move on.........<P>anyway how far could this non-profit organization that he has last, he doesn't have any money, and no one is loyal to his organization except me, and he only pays himself and his friend........<P>what do you think I should do, but on Friday and Saturday night he took me out, oh I forgot he cussed my out on Friday and on Saturday he took me out to dinner, and Sunday, after he stood up in front of his friend and said that he didn't want our personal stuff to interfere with his business, he's FU^%$# looney, I thought I didn't know my [censored] from my head, I'm beginning to believe it's the other way around.

A wise shrink once told me that "Problems are not so much <I>with</I> people as <I>between</I> them." Gottman sees them as basketballs, that should be tossed back and forth until the parties are satisfied, but neither partner should take them into themselves, or decide that they reside solely in the other. <P>Your H and you may yet be able to learn some skill that will save your marriage. Keep posting here and remember the Burger King motto: The harder you work, the luckier you get.

*nods* Wow, you sound like you're married to my STBX. He did that same hot/cold running emotions thing, pinned all the blame for our marital problems on me(hello? Who had the affair now?) and had me so turned around I thought I must be the devil incarnate to deserve this treatment.<BR> Run-don't walk away from this situation. I made the mistake of hanging around until things got so bad they're past the point of no return. Give him his space and allow yourself some breathing room too.

To Ndulia<P>That's exactly how he tries to make me feel, like I'm the devil with some serious issues, when I should have listened to his X, and ran back then, he's cheated on me, but he tells me I'm the reason for his cheating, go figure, I am so sick PHYSICALLY ill, and I'm worn out, I'm exhausted, playing with me like I'm so dog off the street, what makes me mad the most is my allowing someone to have this much control over me.