Some of you will recognize me from the past! I treied to change my name on here but I am technically challenged so I was unable to make the change.<P>I wanted to change my name because eventhough I hurt at times it is not like it used to be when I first came here some 8 months ago. The pain does lessen and there are even periods when things seem ok or fun.<P>I have not started dating although I met a woman who wants to date or at least do more than I want to do. I have gone to lunch with her a handful of times, had dinner once, and went to a movie once. I have always been honest with her about my crap and really enjoyed her comapany yet she wants more and I don't have more.<P>I don't want to hurt anyone and I don't want to get hurt again so what the hell do you do?<P>I suppose I will just play golf, take care of my kids, and continue to gain my weight back!<P>I also am just tired of this crap that comes and goes! You think it is gone and then you have a f____king dream. Oh boy I love waking up to those!<P>Oh well my advice stay away from the opposite sex for at least a year after your divorce. Regardless of what people say if they like you they will sometime want more and if you can not give it they will end up hurt. It is not like when you were 16 although some folks seem to deal with the opposite sex the same way they did when they were 16!

Hey, hurting!<P>It's good to hear from you again, although your topic is sort of sad. First, let's just say that I'm glad to hear that the hurt and pain are subsiding. Is it kind of like the tide? Coming and going, but basically on a gradual decline? What's news in Omaha, by the way?<P>Well, it seems to me that you are asking what the heck you are supposed to do about dating, right? Your divorce is final, and you have met a nice woman whom you like but aren't ready to "date", and she wants to date. I know that you may feel as if there are "slim pickin's" out there, but I would DEFINITELY advise you not to rush. If you are not ready, DO NOT GO THERE. Furthermore, I mean this in the nicest way, but if you are not ready and yet she is giving you sort of gentle pressure to date, then SHE IS NOT THE ONE FOR YOU. <P>As a general rule, I think it is wisest for both people to be emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and morally ready before they start dating. With you in particular, you are a gentle soul and need a little EXTRA tenderness, gentleness and understanding from someone who is willing to go a little slow--so if someone is rushing you faster than you feel comfortable, that would be a strong clue that she's not the one. I know you're picky, but politely decline and patiently wait for your Princess Charming to come and sweep you off your white horse <P>While you are waiting for Princess Charming, I would say golf, golf and more golf--take care of and enjoy the kidlettes--and keep on working on making you the very best friend, lover, and golfer that you can be (haha).<P><BR>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

I agree with CJ. If you can wait, then wait. Even when you are honest about exactly where you are, people get hurt if they want more than you can give them at the time.<P>I have been in one relationship where we both were clear on where we were but ended up getting hurt in the process. I think it is really hard to go out and just be friends with the opposite sex. No matter how well intended, someone ends up wanting more and getting hurt. <P>

You've got the advice of yet another woman here, if you're not ready, don't do it. <P>I don't know who is making contact between the two of you. If it's you, and you've told her where you stand, you could simply not call her again. If she's initiating the contact, I guess you have no choice but to tell her gently that you simply aren't ready to date. And that, when the time comes, you'll give her a call. If she's a co-worker or someone with whom you have routine contact, perhaps you might tell her that right now you feel only group social activities are in your best interest. After all you do not want to hurt her and you do not want to cause yourself any further pain. <P>(((((((((((((((((((((HIO))))))))))))))))))))))<P>And as for the name change, you could just start using your new chosen name and sign back on as a new member. Little Cookie and DanaB both had previous names. Perhaps they could help you. If you need an e-mail address on either one of them for inquiry sake, let me know. I know you have mine.<P>Jane-Elise

Thanks ladies! I am not going to date although I have these urges that are not met. Oh well, that is the way it is!<P>I go through periods where I want to be with a woman and 5 minutes later I am glad I am not ( pretty wild ).<P>I guess I will focus on teaching kids about baseball and golf while also focusing on their intellectual and emotional development. They can grow with dad!<P>Like I need more growth opportunities!<P>Thanks again ladies!

Hey hurting,<P>FYI, the ladies have those "urges" too! Please see cinderella's thread called, "Spontaneous Combustion". It should make you giggle AND maybe you won't feel so lonely at the end of it, because you'll realize that we ALL miss that loving touch.<P><BR>{{{{{{{{{{Hurting}}}}}}}}}} <P><BR>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.