I need some opinions...<br>The man I was suppose to marry broke things off and is now trying to make things work with his ex. Well he wants to be each others best friend. That is how we fell in love in the first place. He has asked if he can still wear a ring of mine I gave him, and he chose the name of the place we shared our last romantic days together as his new email user name. But yet he won't say he 'loves me' anymore and when I asked him, he said he doesn't want to talk about it. He said he is changing the way he loves me. He says he doesn't want to ruin my life, and he shhhhhh's me when I tell him I'm still in love with him. <br>His conversations with me are like that of when we first became close friends. <br>He is aware I'm devastated and miss him alot, and has told me in a voice mail (all depressed and staggering with his words) if it was too hard for me to be friends, maybe he it would be better for him to stay out of my life. I have not yet responded to the v-mail and we haven't talked in a couple days. <br>I don't know how to take his total change of mind, and behavior. (All of which has occured in the matter of a week!)<br>His reason behind it was that he never gave his ex a chance and he wants to try. But yet he and I were very much in love, shared the most romantic time together, and had the greatest fun with each other. I'm confused! And whats up with this friend stuff....and the little personal 'us' things he still holds on to??? I'm trying to figure out what his intentions are and what the hell is going on inside that head of his.<br>So I ask myself "Do I be the 'buddy' he wants....maybe he'll realize why he fell in love with me in the first place?" or "Do I back away for a bit...see if he misses me?"<br>or What?<br>I don't know...<br>When I don't talk to him I miss him terribly.<br>When I do talk to him, it hurts to not hear him say all the 'mushy' stuff and have him tell me he is spending time with 'her'.<br>I love him completely...and his happiness is important to me. I'm trying damn hard to be strong....<br>but I feel like the chance for my happiness is being washed away.<br>The direction of my life has down a complete turn-a-round in one lousy week. I can't make sense of it.<br>I could use some opinions, advice, anything right about now.<br>

Being on the other side of the fence (the ex-wife) I can only express from some experience what I think may be going on with him. When my ex-husband started dating - he was so high on his new love, everything was great, wonderful romance, he was going all kinds of new places with her, doing new things and from hearing him talk - they had the best love in the world! He seemd happier than he had been in his life! Moving ahead 6 months later (when they say most affairs, relationships start moving out of the "butterfly stage") he started evaluating what he had lost. He started missing me. Missing the kids. Missing his home, the yard, his day to day life. Then he started wondering if he should have given us a chance, tried to work things out, etc. Feelings of guilt about "commitment" in marriage, started filling his mind. <br>I'm not saying that he doesn't love you - but he probably is having second thoughts about his family and what he had. Once the newness wears off, I think in all divorces, that happens. He may give her a chance and see that it will work and move forward there - or he may see that it won't work. I can say this, let him try to see if the marriage can be recociled. If he doesn't try now - you wouldn't want him to marry you and then decide later that he should have tried with his first wife and it create problems for you.