Any advice on how to do it?<P>Please read my last post, "To call or not to call the OW"<P>I need some coaching please!!!!<P>Thanks!

Learning as I go,<P>I don't think I can coach you. I just want to reach out to you (I know what it feels like). At one point in my hell, my husband told me that the OW's XH might approach me, my husband told me if this was to happen, to just walk away and to not listen to anything he says. I said, what could this man possible tell me that I don't already know and for sure he couldn't hurt me anymore than you already have. So basically bring him on-if anything it might have helped the OW's X. He never did approach me.<P>I did however call the OW. Check out some of my old posts. Now, that was cathartic for me. I was able to purge emotions (not angrily), but through a calm voice, as I wanted to be heard and not shut out. I talked with her quite a few more times after that. I don't hate her, I just don't understand her or my husband for that matter, and the cruelty they inflicted upon me. <P>I don't know if this helps. I really just wanted you to get my story on "to call or not to call"<P>Keep posting, we are here for you! <BR>Petrie<P><p>[This message has been edited by REJECTED (edited April 10, 2001).]

I found out through a call from the OW husband. And I was greatful that he called. In my heart I knew that something was going on, but it took someone saying it for me to believe.<P>Here's how the conversation went (at least what I can remember). I answered and he explained who he was. He told me to sit down and that he had something important to tell me. Then he said, plain as day, your husband and my wife are having an affair. I instantly believed it. He asked if I was ok and if I believed it. I said yes.<P>About 4 wks later I went to talk to the OW. She and I amazingly had a decent conversation. Unknown to me they were still together, but they both said they weren't. He had gotten her a job at his office Then they both got fired. Yeh!<P>Each time I found out that they were talking or emailing I called her husband. They had a fit and told me to stop bugging him. What they really meant was stop tattling, because they never broke the relationship off.<P>It took me breaking into my husbands email account and sending her email that she thought were from my H to prove they were still together. I took those to OW husband. It actually was really great to see her chin drop. I knocked on the door, told the OW husband that she was sending my H email. She denied the entire thing and told me to leave them alone. I handed her huband the copies of the email and she about passed out. We both asked them to leave.<P>Bottom line... if it makes you feel better do it. Having the power over my BS by doing those things to the OW gave me back the feeling of control. But be careful. I lucked out that she wasn't a psycho.<P>