I am just starting on the road to divorce. Have been separated for a year now and we are just starting to work out the details for divorce. He is the one that wants out. He is in MLC and doesn't want to be married anymore. He thinks there is someone else out there for him. He "loves and cares for me, but is not in love anymore." Financial stuff is a real problem. I don't want to ruin his business by taking him to the cleaners, but I want want is rightfully mine and my children's. He has been a great provider. The one good thing I can say about him right now. He has given me his entire paycheck for a year now, without asking for any money. He does extra work on the side and lives off of that. He must be desperate to get out if he is willing to live this way. He lives in a terrible apartment. Anyway, my problem is how to get what is rightfully mine without ruining him. I still love him. But, I know our marriage is over. I am so torn. How do I get to the point that I don't care. I am so tired of caring about him. I just want all these feelings to go away. Has anyone else had the problem of feeling guilty of asking for money or I am the only looney one here?

RdHead10,<P>To find out what is legally yours go see an attorney. They may be able to give you an idea of what to expect. Laws are different for each state.<P>As for the caring part, well that is much more dificult. I think that in some way you will always care about him as you have children together but as times passes the intensity of your feelings for him will fade. Lots of people here will tell you that. Read some of the recent posts by gsd, medic and cooker they are very inspirational when D is looming. <P>Keep coming here for advice and support.<P>Take Care

Hi Rdhead,<P>The laws are pretty clear with child support. Each state is a bit different, but in general, there will be certain rules and guidelines. There's very little left to question about it - except that CS is never enough!!<P>In terms of spousal support, it also depends on your state, but you and your H can come to any kind of agreement that you like. If you can't agree, that's when the judges step in.<P>If you can afford it you might want to consider a divorce planner. There's one at <A HREF="http://www.divorceplan.net/" TARGET=_blank>http://www.divorceplan.net/</A> <P>