I am a mother of two and if my H eventually divorce me (he has a woman now), and if I have custody of my kids, can I change their last name to be the same as my maiden name ? or if I re-marry, can I change kids name to be that of their step father ? Thanks for any info on this.

Not unless their father approves you can't. Or unless you have his rights terminated (and courts will not go for that unless there is really good reason and loads of prrof against him). Once they are 18 the kids cange have their names changed themselves if they want to .

<BR>Bozo_Deb is right. Your odds of changing the children's names are basically zero. I don't mean to pry, but in a separate post you're asking about a friendly divorce, and changing the children's names strikes me as a kind of petty slap at your H. Certainly not the kind of conduct that would lead to an amicable divorce, anyhow. JMO.<P>Bystander

<BR>I was really concerned about the name change issue. I was a teacher for a year and ran into the embarassing situations of children with one name, mother with another, etc.<P>That got me to thinking: What if something happened to my kid at school and they needed to contact me? What if they called my work and asked for Ms. X-child's surname? If I'm going by my maiden name, they won't know who I am!!! And sometimes they don't pull the emergency contact cards; they simply ask the child for the parent's work phone number.<P>For those reasons, I decided, as much as dislike the hyphenated last names, I'm going to have to use a hyphenated last name (maiden - child's). Even if it makes me look like I'm unavailable.<P>I've even been thinking about what I would do if I remarry and my ex won't let the new spouse adopt our child. I think I'd still use a hyphenated name (new spouse's - child's).<P>I know it's nuts. I know it's not perfect. I know that I don't like it. But surnames are meant to connect people together. The arrangement will do what is needed, that's what is important.<P>~Amy

Actually, it depends on the circumstances..I know that when my brother married he had her daughters name legally changed<BR>to his last name..her natural father was in prison..and hadn't paid child support in years..and I know that my brother-in-laws ex changed their daughters last name to her maiden name..without his consent..and it was that topped with many other things that they judge decided he no longer had to pay child support..<P>so before you think of legally changing your child's name think about how it may look to the courts..<P>I'll keep my married name after the divorce..to much trouble to get a new SS card, new drivers license, new tags..new insurance..changing everything at work..having all the utilities changed over to a new name..no thanks to much trouble..

I changed my last name nearly two years after the divorce. I talked it over with the children beforehand and looked at the family tree to make a choice on names.<P>I didn't want x's name any more. He is not nice to me sometimes and the children see that. His name was no longer an option as he was marrying again.<P>My mother's maiden name was BOND. That would have made me Jane-Elise Bond. OK for now but I didn't want to be joked about if I should ever become some a little old lady in LaLaLand.<P>I didn't like my maiden name and had real issues with my dad's brothers who are both deceased. And my family - both sides - never really recognized my son's birth (other than my mother and sister). Did I hear from my cousins or my aunt during the trauma of divorce. Nope. Who needs their name. <P>So, I literally picked out a name for myself. Not a creative choice. Not an alliterative choice. But a good one. I looked at the family tree and went with the name used for my grandfather, father, and son as a middle name. It's my nephew's first name. It's all over the recent past on my family tree. <P>And if I call someone about a child, I identify myself by full name and child by full name. <P>

I decided to keep my X's name - because that is my children's name, and we are a family, regardless of my marital status.

Very True Brambled..