Hello<P>Right now I am feeling very sad about the events that are happening in my life. I returned the kids to my STBXW tonight, and won't get to see them again for two weeks. This is very depressing.<P>I have worked on myself very hard these last two weeks. I feel better about myself, and have started working out with my brother. I am already seeing results. Not to sound stuck on myself, but I look better, feel better, and am starting to become happy with myself. But, I still have this dull ache inside me whenever I see my STBXW. Part of me misses her badly. I know that she is starting to see the changes as well. I see it in her eyes when we exchange the kids. This makes me feel good about things, because I am 10 times the man that the OM is, but I still feel like something is missing. I am kinda of in a Plan B situation, seeings that I can't have contact with her outside of exchanging the kids due to the PO. And I have learned from rumors that things aren't as peachy over at his house as she thought that they would be.<P>Tonight went pretty smoothly. She talked about modifying the PO to allow me to at least call over and talk to the kids, and she is open to going back to mediation to get visitation worked out.<P>I am just very sad tonight. I want nothing more than to have this whole thing put to rest so I can continue on with my life. I pray that things start getting better, and would appreciate all of your prayers that this will get better and run more smoothly from here on out.<P>Griz

((((((griz)))))))<P>I've been where you are now. Your post saddens me because my ex only cares to see his kids every two weeks. That is sufficient to him. I feel like my kids are slighted when I read all the great dad's on the board who want their kids more, or will hold off a relationship, etc.<P>That dull ache you feel, I don't know when that goes away. I still get it from time to time when we exchange. I have to see OW every time though and thats even worse.<P>Of course your ten times the man of OM. Thats a definete fact. And the rumors, are probably true. It probably isn't as good as she thought.<P>In the meantime, it is great that you are focusing on you, and at least physically feeling better. (we may as well take advantage of these instant weight loss programs, right!). I lost 12 pounds when ex left, and even though I gained half back, I just lost another 12 the past month due to stress. <P>Working out is a great source of a release though, I noticed that myself for now.<P>I think that even though your sad tonite, and so am I , if you haven't seen my recent post, you are on the right track, and keep up the work on yourself, it helps pass the time and your becoming an even better person. Be nice to your stbx and let her give you some more visitation and phone calls, you deserve that much at the very least.<P>Prayers and hugs, Dana<BR>

Griz,<P>I am sorry that you are feeling so bad tonight! I don't have any advice for you, but I wanted you to know that you are in my thougthts. I hope things work out in whatever way ends up being the best.<P>BD

Thinking about you Griz. Hope there are better days ahead for you where your kids are concerned!!<P>Keep up the good work.<P>Take Care

Hi Griz,<P>I'm sorry you're down. At least we have each other to talk to.<P>I'm glad she's going back to try and give you some more visitation/ph calls etc. That must make you feel better.<P>take care of you, and here's a big hug for you<P>{{{{{{{GRIZ}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Jo

I was very depressed last night. I realize that I still have strong feelings for my STBX, and that makes things hard again. I know that she is living with the OM, at least right now, but I also know that things aren't going as smoothly as she thought that they would. I am working on getting visitation worked out, so I can at least see my kids more often, and hopefully we can get this D wrapped up quickly (fingers crossed).<P>I am feeling better today. I am not as depressed, but still have some sad feelings. I am going back to work today, so hopefully the routine will make things better.<P>Dana,<BR>I read your post about this past weekend. This was the first major holiday that we didn't spend together, and that is very depressing. Thank you for your words of encouragement. Just knowing that there are others out there going through some of the same ordeals is very comforting. I do know that I am so much better than the OM. He has nothing on me, and someday, my STBXW will realize that. But for now, i will just keep working on me, and make my life the best it can be for the kids and myself.<P>BlueDays, HopelessinAZ, and bonnet,<BR>Thanks for your words of encouragement, and the hugs. It is nice to get support. I hope that things keep working out.<P>Griz

Glad you are feeling better today.<BR>It sure does seem that so many of us are down, it must be the holiday (and tax time!)<BR>Hope the rest of your day is a good one!<BR> <BR>Rejected.<BR>