<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I am NOT trying to hurt my H at all. But these are the consequences of a divorce. I am not asking for any thing that i don't deserve, that is fair. <P>When he comes at me would it be right to say, H, this divorce is what YOU want, I don't want this but your actions have made it necessary to protect myself and protect our children. I would rather us go into counseling, since all the cards are on the table, and see if this marriage is salvegeable. I love you, I always have loved you and I feel that I, you , we, and our family deserve the best fight to save this marriage that we can offer. I know you feel differently now, but that is what I want.[/B]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Hopeless,<P>This is not a pick up line but I can't believe how much our situations and spouses reactions are alike. The only difference is that I'm a man and my stbxw is acting like you stbxh. Wife wants to do mediation with no lawyers. I agreed, of course I've met with a lawyer to find out my rights. He told me what I needed to hear so that I can be strong through mediation. Since this is my wife's divorce I'm waiting for her to make the appt. In mediation I will make my offer and like you I will say if you don't like it let's take the gloves off. Currently we are planning 50/50 custody but my lawyer and many others say that I should go for primary custody. We'll see. <P>I still pray every hour that this hell will end and she'll say "Let's stop this". Fact, it ain't happening for me and it may not for you either.<P>Look out for yourself and your children. Take care of your self physically and do the best you can mentally. Remember, there are many people out here who love you unconditionally and who are praying for you.<P>((((((((HUG)))))))))<P>Love, Bill<P><BR>PS. Like to get your opinion on my latest post "The Coaster Continues"<P><P>------------------<BR>-There are none so blind as those who refuse to see!-