<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by LostHusband:<BR><B>I just got the $$$ I need and reality hit me in the face at the same time. No stopping the tears now. DARA you know that this is not how I wanted things to go. Maybe, she will be more willing to negotiate if I do this.<P>As of right now I am financially ruined.<P>Can you buy the expresso all I have in my pickets is lint.<P>[This message has been edited by LostHusband (edited May 03, 2001).]</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><BR>I dont understand.<P>You just got the money you need? <P>Financially ruined?<P>How?<BR>

Got the money through an advance. We weren't going to be able to make bills this month anyway, now that's even worse.<P>But on the bright side I do have $.76 left. How much is one of those expresso's at the bartista?<p>[This message has been edited by LostHusband (edited May 03, 2001).]

About four bucks.<P>I havent gotten much work lately, a month behind on the mortgage, and cut-off's on everything.<P>And I cant seem to get off me a** to start getting the house organized for a move.<P>I have been blowing everything off myself.<P>Lifes gotta get better for us!!

i have no other direction to go. right now i'm at the lowest spot i've ever been.<P>we were going to be 3K short this month now 5K

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by LostHusband:<BR><B>i have no other direction to go. right now i'm at the lowest spot i've ever been.<P>we were going to be 3K short this month now 5K</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Remember that Reba song, something like when your all the way down theres only one way out..UP<P>

true<P>Get off your 349 pound A&& take the rollers out, put down the twinkie, take off the pink slippers and get something done.

Well, I think I'm gonna go pull out my Heart cd, turn it all the way up, and clean something.<P>Or maybe Dixie Chicks...<P>Nah, then I'd probly want to slash his tires or something else ludicrous.<p>[This message has been edited by Learning as I go (edited May 03, 2001).]

thanks<BR>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by LostHusband:<BR><B>true<P>Get off your 349 pound A&& take the rollers out, put down the twinkie, take off the pink slippers and get something done.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>You do know that was all a joke, dont cha?<BR>

Sure it was

I probably won't be around tomorrow, if I am it will be late afternoon or early evening. Leaving in an hour to meet will the man.<P>Thank you so much for the day. I'm sorry about those first couple of posts. CLOUDS!!! <P>Pray for me.<P>(((DARA)))<P>bill<P>PS Don't worry your secret is safe with me and you don't type a pound OVER 250.<P>[This message has been edited by LostHusband (edited May 03, 2001).]<p>[This message has been edited by LostHusband (edited May 03, 2001).]

OOPS did I offend ya? I noticed no come back. Sorry! Have a good evening and I'll type at ya L8R.<P><BR>Do me a favor and post 9 times while I'm gone that way when I come back we'll hit 300. HE HE <P><BR><p>[This message has been edited by LostHusband (edited May 03, 2001).]

Gnome:<P>Thanks for the help today. <P>Bill

Well, just found out the 'witch' changed her #. I cant call her and leave threatening messages anymore (JK, only once did I do that.)<P>I found a 'new' number, same prefix, hence could be the same cell provider, but not sure.<P>Oh Bill, why do I agonize over this? Would you do the same if you knew Lisa has another? Would you, as me, imagine some one more beautiful (or handsome) replacing you? I still havent seen her. For some reason I desperatley want to. If only to say "Nah Nah ne Nah Nah she has buck teeth and I dont" kinda thing. Is this normal? <BR>Why am I consumed like this?<P>Well, finally got off my a** and started a cleaning out the garage. He probly thinks I'm on crack. He came home and looked at me like I was crazy. When I told him that I want to get ready for the move, and have agarage sale he said I was making an issue out of nothing. He is so laid back I envy him.....Or isit despise him? hehe<P>I wonder what you are going through at this moment with Lisa. She had told you she is leaving in the AM. I still dont quite understand her reasoning, as I am sure you dont either. why does she want to leave so soon?<P>I know this is a dificult night for you, I pray you are doing well. Let us know how the meeting with your att. went, and how your night went with Lisa. I'm hoping it was good news.<BR>Dara<p>[This message has been edited by Learning as I go (edited May 04, 2001).]

Dara,<P>Are you here?

Well last night I went and met with the atty. All seemed to be OK. Was suppose to go back at 11:00 am today to file. After I left atty office last night I called Lisa. We talked and cried together. She said that after this is all over we may have a shot. Got home, packed up the foster girls and got them out. Took our girls out to eat. After supper, Lisa and I, worked out what she was taking and how we would share the kids for now. Lisa gave me what was probably my last hug and kiss. Had a family meeting and told all to the kids. Shared with them our 50/50 custody for the next month. Then I told Lisa that I seen atty. She blew up. I told her I only did it because of the custody issue. She called me every name in the book. Told her I would stop it if we could agree on that issue. She said she’d sleep on it. We went to bed and she held me. I haven’t been held for years. I cried all night long. <P>This morning I took our youngest to the sitter and the sitter’s husband came out and told me I was about to be served. Guess what Lisa filed two days ago. Wants full custody, plenty of CS and alimony, and as I type is taking all of our children’s stuff and moving it. First court date a week from next Monday. All visitation agreements made last night are out the window. She’s going for the throat.<P>So you can imagine how I am doing.<P>Bill<BR><P>------------------<BR>-There are none so blind as those who refuse to see!-

Bill, it's obvious that your wife is extremely conflicted, to the point where she is literally incapable of thinking clearly or rationally. I'm sure that statement comes as no surprise to you.<P>But keep in mind that many divorce lawyers like to start "negotiations" by asking for everything (and more), in the recognition that they are not likely to get what they do not ask for, and in the hope that the opposing side will either panic and do something foolish or else dig in and insist on a long lucrative legal battle. Given your wife's incoherent condition, it may not be possible to separate what she wants (obviously she doesn't know this herself) from what her lawyer wants.<P>You have to do what you have to do, regardless. But do not automatically assume that what your wife's lawyer is asking for is the same thing as what she wants. He may very well have told her something along the lines of "trust me, this is how it's always done..."<BR>

Thanks Gnome, I realize that this may be more of what her lawyer is putting into her head than what is already in her head. Had a real hard time seeing through the clouds yesterday.<P>Anyway, got the papers and of course she's asking for everything. I think that I can negotiate and keep the clothes on my back. I filed motion for joint custody (like Lisa and I had already agreed to). We have hearing a week from monday. In the meantime I get the kids tuesday and friday night. I helped her move out last night and that was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. Watching pieces of our history vanish from sight. At one point I asked her if I could keep the washer and dryer. She said no and that the laundry was all done. I reminded her that there we about 6 loads of bedding that still needed to be done. She said "I am taking the washer and dryer and remember I can take away your visitation next week". OUCH!!!! She called a couple minutes later and I told her she could take them but please take the laundry and do it. She said thank you. I said I don't have a choice you have already blackmailed me. She apoligized and said that was wrong. blah blah blah<P>Anyway, she took that last load and the girls stayed with me for a couple of hours. All was well for a while I had my girls. We played games and laughed. When Lisa showed up they were anxious to go until they hit the door. An emotional scene that will haunt me for the rest of my life. All three girls and I were crying our eyes out. Lisa stood cold hearted. I held each of them and got them into the car. As I walked up onto the porch I could hear them crying. I opened the door and again I comforted them as they comforted me. Lisa sitting so coldly in the drivers seat. I could still hear them crying as they drove away.<P>I have nothing but pain right now.<P>Bill<P>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Oh Bill, why do I agonize over this? Would you do the same if you knew Lisa has another? Would you, as me, imagine some one more beautiful (or handsome) replacing you? I still havent seen her. For some reason I desperatley want to. If only to say "Nah Nah ne Nah Nah she has buck teeth and I dont" kinda thing. Is this normal? <BR>Why am I consumed like this?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Maybe that's why I don't really want to kknow if there was another. Yes I would agonize it. Especially in your case when he has shown some signs of hope. I think that it is perfectly normal to be consumed by this matter. Just remember one thing she has made no vows to you. I'm not much help today. Hope you have a good weekend.<P>Bill<P>PS: Buck Teeth could qualify for the 11:30 rule.<P><P>------------------<BR>-There are none so blind as those who refuse to see!-

Today finds me just numb. I can't cry anymore, I have no tears left. I've stayed out of the house as much as possible since Friday night. Here shortly I need to go start cleaning up the mess that she left. My family has been extremely helpfull. Lisa and the girls are suppose to stop by for a short time tonight on their way home. Lisa wants to pick up more stuff. <P>On a positive note, I found some good research on the website for the Children's Right Councel. I can only pray now that our court system will look favorably on joint custody. That is all that I want right now. I could care less about the bills, the possessions, or any other aspects of the divorce. I just want to be with my girls.<P>Bill