ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!<P>I hate them all!!!! Her, her lawyer, my lawyer.....<P>Little update:<P>Property settlement is 90% done. Over the past few months we have spoke of her coming to town the first week in May. She is in FL right now - I am in NJ. She moved to be with brother (but said she needed her independence?). Brother in Navy - got transfered to California about 3 weeks ago.<P>She calls last week and leaves message she is coming to town next week (this week) and expects to wrap everything up then. She leaves no number to reach her at and says if I need to talk to her, call my lawyer who will call her lawyer (how ridiculous is that). So fine I do it. I tell my lawyer that there is no way I can get all her stuff ready to be picked up and I don't have time in the next two weeks to do all of this and I can't rearrange things. It apparently goes "in one ear and out the other" with MY OWN lawyer. I told him to contact her and let her know that I need to stick with original plan of first week in May.<P>Instead our lawyers work together to try and finalize the property settlement (I don't mind that). But their intention was to disregard my schedule and opinion, thinking that I can just rearrange my life to suit her needs. BS! Anyways, I own a business which has just hit a growth spurt - things are crazy here. And I find out on Sunday that my sister is in the hospital with heart trouble (pretty serious stuff). So now I need to go be with my family this weekend.<P>Would you believe it took me 4 faxes and 4 phone calls to my lawyer and his legal aid for them to understand that I CAN'T cater to my wife's needs on such short notice????? In fact her attorney sent a letter saying that if I force her to have to fly back here at a later date that he was going to ask the court for me to pay for HER AIRFARE!!!! This is the woman who has ran away from her life without care or regard for anyone or anything and NOW I need to "bend" to her needs. I told my lawyer I don't care if she is moving to Siberia. Plus if I have to take time off of work to supervise her moving things out, is SHE going to PAY ME for my lost wages and time? Bottom line is that I don't trust her enough to allow her in MY house alone.<P>And what amazes me is that she is following her brother out to California. She is not learning anything from all this - She went from being attached to her father, to being attached to a serious highschool boyfriend, to being attached to me. Now even though she said she needs her independence, she is attaching to her brother. And this is at a time when he is 23 years old out of the academy - he should be enjoying his youth, not babysitting his sister....<P>Like I said in the beginning:<P>AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!<P> <P>Mike<P>------------------<BR>God always waits for the right time to do the right thing in the right way.

ST2000<P>Your in my prayers, brother. Nothing else to say.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>-There are none so blind as those who refuse to see!-

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by SoTired2000:<BR><B>And what amazes me is that she is following her brother out to California. She is not learning anything from all this - She went from being attached to her father, to being attached to a serious highschool boyfriend, to being attached to me. Now even though she said she needs her independence, she is attaching to her brother. And this is at a time when he is 23 years old out of the academy - he should be enjoying his youth, not babysitting his sister....</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>It's hard to learn anything when you're too busy running or hiding from yourself. I am no longer amazed by such fog, but I still find it ironic that my wife's idea of making it on her own (her stated intention) is to live with her mother and avoid full-time work by trying to get enough spousal support from me to support her lifestyle. (This from an intelligent, talented woman in good health with two college degrees and no family responsibilities.)<BR>

Mike,<P>Your sister will be in my prayers. I also have the same problem, I could NEVER get ahold of my lawyer on the first try. Its rather frusterating considering how much they charge. In my opinion family comes first and you should be allowed to stick to your original plan without sufficient notice and communication, but its hard to get anything straight with 2 lawyers doing much of the communicating.<P>Good luck, Dana<BR>

(((((ST2000))))),<P>Just wanted to hop in here and give you some support! <P>Lawyers......go figure. It's the pit's when they are against you, especially the one you are paying!<P>I do agree with you, two weeks notice is bs with no way to confirm, especially when the first week in May was already discussed. Heck I've waited two years for a phone call from my x telling me what date and time would be convient for HIM, so I can pick up my court ordered items. Contempt papers are filed.<P>Hang in there!<P>Ragamuffin

Mike,<P>Sorry to hear about your sister..my prayers are with you..<P>If she's going to California, whose going to pay her way out there?? It's expensive to move..whose going to move her things from NJ to California? Or are you going to be asked to do that too??<P><BR>

ThornedRose,<P>One word:<P>D<BR>A<BR>D<BR>D<BR>Y<P>I used to have bad feelings for her father for the way he babied and spoiled her - but then I realized, she is 27 years old and still "taking" everything he gives without a thought to the matter. It is natural for a parent to look out for their child, but at sometime it is necessary for the child to grow up and become independent (at least for the most part).<P>------------------<BR>God always waits for the right time to do the right thing in the right way.

I dont know any of you but i feel the need to vent my exh is playing such games it drives me crazy<P>JJ

Oh Mike, I am so sorry...I know that parents can be very controlling..and from our past conversations I know that this is the case..daddy holds the purse strings..<P>Maybe you can annoymously mail her the book "Toxic Parents"<BR>buy it and mail it to her..have someone else address it for you so she won't know the writing..(I know: dishonesty) but hey..it could help her if she actually read it..I know it was a real eye opener for me..when I read it..it was one of the many my counselor recommended for me to read..

It may not be a case of controlling parents, but low self esteem parents, who fear losing love of their child by being tough.<P>When we split up stuff, my X said i should take the silverware, because, "I can get my parents to buy me a new set." talk about just manipulating/taking advantage of DAD,<BR>my FIL has no ability to say no to his daughter or son.<P>and the bizarre reasons they use to justify their behavior is beyond belief!<P>been there, done that.<P>

Hey all I could use some advice:I live with my dad and stepmother since I left my H and my stepmother is very controlling whenever she's around my dad doesn't have a backbone she does't let me use the washer or dryer or cook when she's around some people might thinks this is cool but she makes feel like nobody she tells me how I should raise my son and regardless of what my H did to me my son still needs a relationship with his dad and she is dead set against that so I don't tell her when my son will see his dad. and so on you can imagine what it's like at my house! ideas are very much welcomed<P>jj<P>------------------<BR>JJ