Hi GnomeDePlume,<P>I just wrote a response to you asking for further assistance. If you could please read it, I would greatly appreciate it. I am running against the clock on this one and really feeling the pressure. For me time is running out. <P>You have given strong and stable advise in the past. I am asking your opinion with no strings attached. I just need another set of eyes and will accept many set of eyes until I can reason this one out. <P>A lot of frustration is building up on this one for me. Like an axiety attack builds up (which is what I am feeling now). I am glad I am at home for the moment. <P>This is not meant to scare you. I will not do anything foolish to myself. I just so much need to have resolution. H has stated that he is comfortable in this state of mind he is in even though he does not want to be there. See the conflict? His actions dictate that he wants me to be there in that state of mind unless he is forced by not having money or something else beyond his control. Why?!?!? At the expense of his family. We don't count enough to make a move/decision or anything it seems. Sure wish someone from here could talk to him. He is not open to talk to Steve Harley at this time. Just a confused man who is confusing his family. <P>L.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Orchid:<BR><B>A lot of frustration is building up on this one for me. Like an axiety attack builds up (which is what I am feeling now). I am glad I am at home for the moment.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I know the feeling. <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>I just so much need to have resolution. H has stated that he is comfortable in this state of mind he is in even though he does not want to be there. See the conflict? His actions dictate that he wants me to be there in that state of mind unless he is forced by not having money or something else beyond his control. Why?!?!?</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I'm picturing this little boy in a room full of toys, trying to grab them all. But with his arms full, every time he grabs a new toy, he drops one. And the one he drops suddenly seems like the best one of all. So he picks it up again and drops something else. Which in turn seems like the best one.<P>Having staked a claim on everything, he's not willing to give up anything; and he's oblivious to the irony that while he's doing all this grasping he can't enjoy any of the toys he's <I>got</I>. Rather absurd and pitiful, really.<BR>

GnomeDePlume,<P>Thanks for your reply. Yes, a little boy in a room full of toys and not able to play with any of them. Greed and selfishness. H never really had much as a child. Always left to fend for himself, yet he lived with 10 other children. Parents neglected all of them. <P>When we got married, I gave him love and attention, that is how I was raised and was happy to do so. Our wedding brought a lot of gifts from family and friends. It took 6 people over 6 hours just to go through everything. I was not surprised, my friends and family are very generous and so am I. H was overwhelmed. He insisted on opening every gift himself the other 5 of us had to organize everything. This was not including all the monetary gifts. <P>I was amazed at his childlike attitude with that incident. I wanted him to have what we could afford since he never had that before. Did I help create a greed monster? Did I spoil my H? Very likely. Yet I am being accused by OW that I neglected my H. What a lie. <P>Yes, he is a child. A bad spoiled child. What is a wife to do. It is against the law to marry a child. It should be against the law to marry an immature person. Wish I knew that then. <P>Thanks again for your support. You have a way of making me think clearer.<P>Mahalo,<BR>L.