I can't stand the fact that I am facing raising my two kids alone while my husband is off having the time of his life.<P>Does it ever get any better??????????<P>I hope so.

It has to!! Some days are better than others. We all have to keep each other lifted up. Do things for yourself. Try not to think to much. I know it is hard and if you are like me, you mind constantly wanders to HIM!! Try not to think about what he is doing, but think about what you can do for yourself and your children. The children are our future. If our ex's can't be good examples for them, then we have to!! Don't give up on yourself. Keep reading here, these people have been through the same things that we are now going through.<BR>God Bless You!!

Hi you two,<P>Yes, it does get better. It's not always easy but it is managable.<P>I'm in the same boat. I've been raising 3 boys on my own for 16 months. And I mean, completely on my own. Their father rarely sees them, calls them, or sends child support. I just do my best and let them know that I love them and I'll always be there for them.<P>Have you checked into maybe a support group for single mothers where you live? I don't have one here, so MB has become my support group. We're all one big happy family! (Well, most of the time! ) I've cried with them, laughed with them and most of all, I've lived because of them. <P>So, hang around and let us help you in any way we can!<P>Take care,<BR>Mitzi <P>

(((((((((((((((tryintomakeit))))))))))))))))))<P>That's a cyberhug.<P>Welcome (unfortunately) to our little corner of the Web.<P>Read everything you can find here. The sum total of the wisdom here is mind-boggling.<P>Yes, it will get better. It will not get better overnight. At first, you will have some absolutely horrible days and very few good days. Many days are just a struggle to get through them. Over time your bad days won't be as bad and your other days will be better. All of my days are pretty good now, with some being outstanding. It will take a few months, maybe longer.<P>I'm recently divorced (Monday) and I've just completed the vast majority of the grieving process. <P>My X, WS, says that she is happy now, but she doesn't act happy at all. Keep in mind that whatever your WS has with the OW is built upon lies and deceit and will eventually come crashing down. (odd are very likely) Fantasyland will eventually close. I still get sick when I hear the OMs name come out of my daughter's mouth though. I did, however, get primary custody of my daughter.<P>I'm not certain how educated you are about Dr. Harley's methods, but you need to read "Surviving an Affair". Dr. Dobson's "Love Must be Tough" is also a great book with some excellent advice.<P>It will get better. Take care of yourself so that you can take care of your children. As far as your husband, he's a lost cause right now. I'm not sure I can offer any advice right now, so start with the books.<P>I know the pain is tremendous, but after having been through it, I think I can handle anything. I doubt you will face a greater pain for the rest of your life. Take comfort in knowing it will not last.<P>Kevin<P><BR>

Dear Tryin,<P>You are not alone in this venture. Most of us here are having to raise our children minus 1 parent. No it is not fair to your nor your children. <P>Keep this in mind, your H is not necessarily having the time of his life. He may want you to think so or you may think so but reality is that not everyone looks like a glamour girl in the morning and habits follow a person wherever they go. All is not peaches and cream in fantasy land. You can take solice in the fact that as quickly as they throw themselves together, they will wear each other out. You know like little kids, their attention span is too short. A's are like that. That fire can only burn for so long after a while it starts to smoke. <P>Question, how to help it smoke. Hmmm... It depends on what makes smoke. Fanning the fire, throwing some water on it, partial use of an extinguisher with chemicals,etc. What does this relate to in an A? You will need to take a look at your situation. For me, H did not make enough money to support himself on his own, much less ow & his current family. Hmmm.... H's calculator isn't working well so he did not budget himself properly. After 3 months he is in the hole so deep, he needs to move out of his rented room. Can't afford a new one. So where will he go???? Smoke rising. Next, his bills are piling up, I have been paying for them and need to collect, a little water on the fire. More smoke. Next H's guilt of abadoning his family, too scared he is making the wrong decision. More smoke. <P>See there are a lot of things we can do. Some subtly, some deliberately. Most are best done quietly. Patience and time were what I had to learn to use as my allies. <P>In the meantime, I kept things up in the home front. Our family life at home is stable. H is out there without stability. He does not know where he will be next week, next month or next year. Funny how they want their freedom and when they get it they are still not happy. H said that. He is confused and saying "I don't know" or "what if....". Is he happy? No. Does he want to come back? Not enough to actually come back. Too much fog. <P>So, love your children, keep them happy. Find happiness with them. Your H will see where real happiness lies. Not in fantasy land but in a real loving home. <P>Take Care you are on the right track and you will get better. <P>L.

I Know how you feel. I'm a single mother of one and my ex seems to love to play on my emotions. But a great wise man told me (you know who you are) that happiness comes from within and sometimes I really get down because he pulls a stupid stunt or says the wrong things. He plays on my son who is only 3 soon 4. For instance this past week my son talked to his dad and wanted to see him i told him not till the weekend hoping the ex would back me up told my son he come to daddy's any time well of course my son was upset and i looked like the meanny! I just want to say I'm very happy to be part of MB this is helping so much if I can be of help to anyone feel free!<P>JJ<BR>Happiness comes from within