Howdy all, I'll try to make this brief. My W moved back home 6 months ago after her affair. Things were better for awhile. I grew tired of waiting for her to start working with me on our relationship. Two weeks ago, I gave her the ultimatum to either get involved in some relationship "program" (her choice of which one)or to move on. She said she could never be happy with me (but didn't know why) and that we couldn't change. In the past two weeks she has told me a few things that have got me on the fence again. Such as the reason she started thinking about divorce; She saw some friends of ours and thought how we could never be like them (close and intimate). WE BOTH WANT THE SAME THING. Now that I've put the ultimatum out there, I feel because of my past history of backing down I can't rescind it. I would love to make a try at this, with her involved. I just can't see a way to get there from here. I've done some major love busting in the last two weeks to boot.<BR>Any thoughts? Mike

If you really want to work on it, then just go to her like you came to us and remind her that it seems you both want the same things, (the intimate closeness) so try to get it back through counseling. Or how about a short trip, just the 2 of you, together, maybe that will help in finding the friendship you once had together. It worked for my H and me. It made us see that we still have a lot of fun TOGETHER and by doing activities together that we both enjoyed, showed us that we can enjoy each other, without friends, family or children always being around.

Don't let pride get in the way if you really feel in your heart you want to give it another try.

You guys make it sound simple. She agreed to do counseling or the MB thing then backed out. I have to have some assurance that she is going to do something and I don't think she will give it...... I will do anything she wants, I just won't do nothing.<BR>Thanks, Mike