The following may appear cryptic but I know of no other way to share the feelings I have...<P>Recently I lost a friend, actually they moved away. The absence of this persons presence in my life has been as profound as thier pressence was when they were in my life for only a few short months. Needless to say I miss them greatly and wish only for thier happiness and well being. <P>It just sucks out loud when someone you are close to falls of the planet. I have a vague idea of where they are and what they are doing and knowing they are in a not the greatest of situations and probably in pain. That being said, we all must do what we believe in our hearts is the right thing and I commend them for doing. I have an outstanding admiration for one who does this. But I would be remiss if I didn't share my own self-centeredness by saying that the void in my life hurts. I miss thier droll sardonic humor, thier conversing with me about the most inane things, thier warm kind words. I better stop before I get too sappy and start crying.<P>The test of a true friend is one who listens to the dastardly things we do and loves us anyway. They help us get out of our ruts even when they are in deeper ruts than we. They make us feel special when are in the grips of self-loathing. The real test is when they ask for nothing in return. This unnamed person did all these for me as I did for them without even blinking an eye nor expecting recprocation.<P>I'm not sure why this has hit me so harshly today, they dissappeared over a month ago. I think they might have been in a dream I had last night.<P>I don't know why I am posting this here, but I just had to get it out and you all are my surrogate family.<P>I miss my friend!<BR>I leave wish this.....<P>May the roads rise to meet you,<BR>May the winds always be at your back,<BR>May the sun shine warm upon your face,<BR>The rains fall soft upon your fields,<BR>And until we meet again,<BR>May god hold you<BR>In the hollow of his hand.<P><BR>Bill<P>I'm done editing!! LOL<P>[This message has been edited by WilliamJ (edited April 26, 2001).]<P>[This message has been edited by WilliamJ (edited April 26, 2001).]<p>[This message has been edited by WilliamJ (edited April 26, 2001).]

Oh Bill... sorry to hear about yet another loss. It's a process though isn't it? They can't be replaced so you might as well jump in there and really debrief with us here so that you can eventually heal... my words may sound hollow but what I mean to say is, I understand. I wish that were enough to make you feel better but it can't... one day at a time, ya know?<P>------------------<BR>We cannot do everything at once... but we can do something at once

That is exactly what I'm doing OvrCs. Thanks.

((((((((((((((((William))))))))))))))))<P>much, much, much love to you, my friend...<P>you've got my e-mail when you need to talk.<P>Dylan

Guillaum, cher, what was your dream about?<P>Remember our psychic link, Hoss? Well, you got me so down I could barely get out of bed this morning! Jeez, I was wondering what the deal was--too many onion rings from Colter's BBQ? (Japanese style, of course. Blech!) And then I saw your post, and I was thinking--there's ol grouchy Bill as sour as a crock of kraut!! And as stinky. Go take a shower, you'll feel better. Cheer up! I mean it! You are making me sad now, too.<P>You go grab your little girl and give her a big squeeze and tell her how cute she is. Then take her bowling or something. Bowling with kids is a pain--my kid always runs off when it's my turn and I have to stop the game and look for him in the video arcade. Hey! That's what you can do.<BR> Don't tell me they don't have Jurassic Park or Area 51 in the nearest mall arcade. My kid and I always cut church to play Jurassic Park--I tell him if he's good and doesn't say any audible cuss words in the chapel, doesn't lay under the seat and kick it with the toes of his little church shoes or go to the bathroom a hundred times, then we can go to Taco Bell and hit the arcade. Sometimes bribery works. Usually not, though. He acts up regardless of how many quarters I got in my purse to waste shooting aliens.<P>Or maybe you can take her for a ride on your motorcycle. You know, folks here in Japan actually pay to take tours of North Carolina. Well, you got it in your back yard.<P>Well, Hoss, be happy, okay? You got a lot of folks that love you and want the best for you. You are important, and you know that. You know darn well that your friend still loves you. Remember you told me once that true friendship last a lifetime? Well, it does and it will.<P>Je suis ici, Hoss. You drop me a line and tell me what's up, okley?

psssst........Bernzini.....bonjour, je suis aussi un ami de Guillaum....il est tres speciale, n'est pas?...mais quand il est comme ca, il y a seulement une chose a faire....on a pas de chois....<P>let's sneak up on him and give him a wedgie!!<P>smile Bill...we love ya!!!!<P>Dylan

I have a very dear friend - I've called her my other sister - the one my mother did not give birth to. She entered my life just as my x was leaving. Her two youngest children are almost my children's ages - eight months either side of my daughter. She and I share a birthday - though different years.<P>One night a couple of years ago, I spent a day or two trying to call her. Turns out she was snowed in in a cabin not too far from Nashville and had no telephone - her husband's love shack where he had been entertaining his OW. Anyway, one night I could not sleep. All I could do was think of her. The next day she called and she was in the hospital. She and her husband had a fight and he was the one to the telephone first - called the police (somehow I think his throwing her to the floor and twisting her arm and bruising her face was worse than her throwing a bowl of cold soup at him) and she convinced the police that she didn't need to go to jail - she'd be safer at a psychiatric hospital since she is bipolar and she knew that he could not bother her there. All that had taken place the night I couldn't sleep. <P>Two days later she appeared at my front door and, before she said a word, I knew she was leaving town. She had no choice.<P>She came back and we had regular contact for a year or two until she moved and disappeared again. She showed up unexpectedly and then was gone for a while longer. <P>Right before Christmas I was trying to find her. Christmas Eve my phone rang amd she was 10 minutes from my house. I get to see her again on Memorial Day.<P>I know exactly how it feels to loose someone so close. Exactly. And you have my e-mail address. You know how to reach me. I do miss hearing from you. So if you need someone else to talk with about this, just reach out, friend.

Love you Bill...<P>...and so very sorry for your pain...<P> Sad with you! <P>Here's my shoulder...<BR>

Bill,<P>I don't know why it is that you miss this person so much today, but you just do. Can you think of anything that would make you feel better? <P>Well, here's a start: we care about you here and we're sorry to hear about your loss. It SUCKS, doesn't it? I say commisserate with some your buds here, get some hugs and support and love and such, and hopefully you'll feel a little better. <P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Bill}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<BR>We have been forum buddies for a long time now, and remember and appreciate all the times you've been around for me. I wish I could be there in person for a little moral support. but for now, let the hugs soak in. <P><BR>CJ<P>P.S. Would you still like to know how to mess with his mind? <P><BR>CJ<BR><P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

Ok folks, I am feeling much better even though still missing the old friend...<P>Dylan, <B>SPEAK ENGLISH Ma Cheri`</B>(sp?)<P>If you even think about giving me a wedgie....I'm watching my six! <P>Bill

yeah, but Bill, then I won't have as much of an 'air of mystery' about me....<P>besides, Bernzini and I can now gang up on you in 2 languages!!<P>heheheheheheh...<P>much love to Abbey....Ethan still wants to marry her...kid has got great taste in women. <P>Dylan

That's right Dylan my dear giggle yer silly little brains out...LOL<P>Have you know I WILL be taking french this year and you and Bernzini will not be able to gang up on me in two languages :P you better brush up on a third <P>My little angel has the chicken pox this week <P>Bill

hey....I speak arabic too......<P>heheheheheheheheheh..........<P>as for chicken pox, yikes!!...can I send ethan over? he has never had 'em...<P>so, you're taking french courses?..for speaking or kissing?<P> <P>me soooooooo baaaaaaad....<P>LOL

hey!!!...by the way, check out my 'thwarting cable' thread on GQ...looks like a trip down to your neck of the woods may be in the works ....

Well I know basic salutations and profanity from 6 different languages!! :P<P>I am going back to college in the fall anf to get my undergrad I have to take a foriegn language....I think I will take French because it sounds alot cooler than spanish, not to mention how suave and debonaire I will sound....Remember the Adam's family? How Tish used to drine Gomez crazy when she spoke French...<P>I will call upon you to devlope my conversational skills!!<P>Bill<P>