I am having a major problem with my husband. When we first began seeing each other, I lied to him when he asked me about what I & my ex-boyfriend had done together. I know that I was wrong to lie to him, even if I lied so I wouldn't hurt him (so I thought at the time). I have told him how sorry I am and have accepted my responsibility for my actions. He says that he wants to forgive but can't seem to do it. He asks me to do little things to make him feel more comfortable in trying to forgive me. He has become extremely angry over the fact that I lied. All that he has asked me to do is not lie to him, do what I say I am going to do and stick to it(I had a major tendency to change direction alot). A small incident recently set him off, and he has totally stopped seeing me and will barely speak to me (although it is improving). The incident? I said I was going somewhere with a family member one evening. I have a pager. He paged me when he came home from work to let me know he had just gotten home. Well, I had changed my plans and decided to have dinner with my family member instead of going where we had originally planned. He cannot get calls at work, otherwise I would have called to let him know our plans were changing.<br>He is so upset. He says he feels that I am leaving him out of my life and is very upset that I didn't do what I said I was. He is upset because where the restaurant is located is not the greatest area. I honestly thought the restaurant was OK because he & I had been there.<br>He got upset over the restaurant thing, now he is bringing up the lies that I told him before. I don't know how to stop him from hurting himself. I accept responsibility for not being where I told him I was going. But I did nothing to make him start dwelling on past hurts.<br>How can I stop this cycle of hurt? Whether I trigger it or he does it to himself?<br>Please help.