As far as making it on my own-I've been doing fine. I haven't received any $ from XH or support of any kind. I believe myself to do well under pressure and have always had a certain amount of independence and have always held down a good job. Since moving out, a few things have thrown me for a loop, but I have "maintained".<P>My divorce was just finalized and all of a sudden I feel so scared, it is almost paralizing. My XH owes me a $ settlement and when he called me yesterday, he told how he wants to do right by me, etc. Legally he owes me the money and I am sure that he will do the right thing. <P>I am all of the sudden terrified. How can I go from thinking that I will be fine to now I am not so sure, basically overnight.<P>I have been forewarned by reading here at MB and replies to my posts. Just like the divorce being final-I am not ready for being so darned scared about "making it". I know that part of my problem is: total loss of security, the security I received from my husband that everything is going to be okay. GONE<P>I really am not being over dramatic<BR>I am sure that this is "part of the process"<BR>I had been with this man since I was 19 (he is 7yrs. older), don't get me wrong-I did my part and more than pulled my own weight-and I did bring alot to the "table".<P>Self doubt-it is bad. Any suggestions?????<BR>I will have a good life, I will have a great life----------<BR>I'm really having a hard time. <P>Petrie<P><BR>

One of your biggest challenges will be to keep it businesslike in terms of the financial settlement. There may be an urge to <I>push hard</I>, or an unproductive sense of <I>laissez-faire</I>. Neither is good, and vacillating between the extremes is even worse. <P>If he needs to pay over time, give him a set of pre-addressed and stamped envelopes with dates.