About two weeks ago my wife of 12 years told me that she has no feelings for me anymore. I was crushed. I know that there is no cheating involved. We have had a great marriage, up until a few months ago. Her mother and an uncle, who she was very close to, died. She went into a depressed state. I tried to be supportive and caring. In addition we have two toddlers who drive us both crazy. Typical<br>kid stuff. I believe that she is just stressed to the limit. She has gone to one session with a counselor, but, she doesn't want to talk to me about her session. I don't know what to say to her. I still tell her I love her but sometimes I feel that may be doing more harm than good. I'm totally confused. The counselor told her that I don't have to get invloved with sessions since we don't fight, never have. I desperately want her back, for my sake and the sake of the kids. Any feedback would be most appreciated. Also, are there any good books I could read to help me/us out. Thanks for reading.<br>

Kevin,<p>Many of us on this forum have been or are in similar situations. Short term prescription: don't let yourself get worked into a frenzy. Be as supportive as you can in every way. Go to the bookstore or library and get some of Dr. Harley's books. Also try something like Divorce Busters by Michele Weiner-Davis. These books will help educate you on the new frame of mind you will need to weather this.<br>Let your wife see your love for her in all your actions. Don't smother her or push her at this time. It's hard but it does get more bearable, believe it or not. Look at it as another of life's lessons to learn and hang in there for the long haul. Check into the forum frequently for whatever interaction you feel you need. Take care.

Thanks Bruce. I didn't realize that so many people were in the same situation as me. I guess it is comforting in a way. I picked up the book Divorce Busting, I'll see how it goes. In my wife's second session with the counselor it was recommended that we try a trial separation. I just can't agree to it because of the kids. I hope things get better because I'm going crazy, but, I know I have to be in this thing for the long haul.

Kev,<br>I do have heard those dreadful words come from my wife's beatuiful mouth to fall upon my torn heart. I know how hurtful those words can be. I am truly sorry that you have to go thru this. I don't know if our wife's can find the spark of love again for us. I know that with each passing day of facing my wife's distant I lose some of the feelings of love for my wife. I know that sooner or later my love for her will too disappear if she continues to shun me. It is simply a matter of self preservation. It helps that children are involved because tthey give you a reason to keep trying. However it is bad that they have to go through it. I am a sad person to give advice so the only thing I will say is keep trying to recapture her love until your strenght and heart fail your kids deserve that much of an effort. God bless and good luck.

Thanks for the nice words of support Rustynail. The strange thing about my situation is that the more my wife distance's<br>herself from me the more I seem to love her, I know it seems crazy but I seem to be getting obsessed with her. The real hard part is being near her and not being able to hold, hug and kiss her. I truly love her which makes the whole situation worse.