I was so glad to find your response. I feel so all alone and betrayed. It's hurts to know all the people that are suffering from similar circumstances. I don't really think I can do plan A. My husband won't even talk to me. He is extremely hateful towards me. I had read at another site that they have to blame someone, and it certainly isn't them. I think you are right that he needs HELP. <P>When he first left I thought he had lost his mind. I made him an appointment with a psychiatrist. As I talked to him I really thought he needed help sooner. So I called another one and got a sooner appt. He said he would go to them. Than I talked to him one day, he had made an appt. with another one and went himself. He still said he would go to the other 2, he said he would go to all 3. Now what's that tell you. But, he would only go by himself. He wouldn't agree to any counciling or anything with me. I thought this would drive me crazy, so I made an appt. for myself. They wouldn't give us both an appt. with the same Dr., because they said it would be a conflict of interest, since H wasn't willing to go together. I managed to get us both separate appts. with the same Dr. I called him to remind him of his appt., he said he was busy and couldn't go. He agreed that if I took his, he would take mine on a different day. So I told the Dr. the story, my husband went a couples day later. After his surprisingly he came over. He said the Dr. said his mind was racing and gave him medication to slow it down, because he said he couldn't think straight. (No doubt in MY MIND) This tells me he knew he had a problem. The Dr. said one of us would have to change Dr's. I told my husband I would, since this Dr. also had other patients with his same chronic illness. But H didn't go back. The Dr. was concerned when my husband didn't come back.I think it was OW, although it was unknown at the time. He didn't tell me or the Dr. about her. I think maybe he knew the Dr. would figure it out. When I went back to the Dr. I asked him about my husband. He said he couldn't tell me because of patient confidentiality, I told him I understood. He said your husband is a very handsome man. Dr. said he thought they parted friends and he didn't understand why he didn't come back, that he probably could have helped him. Than another surprise, the Dr. put his head down and said "off the record" you are a very intelligent women, your husband is not as intelligent<BR>as you (I almost cracked up), he said your husband is immature (I said I know that), he said your husband is very impulsive, (I said I know that too, it drove me nuts. Than Dr. looked at me and said he needs you a lot more than you need him. He said you were not only a wife to him, but a best friend, like a sister and a mother, and your husband loved it. (I'm thinking,well than why did he leave?) Dr. said your husband will be back. He also said that the longer he was away the worse things would get. He said that his chronic illness would get progressively worse, and it has. Within a month after he left, he had lost 3 pants sizes down, and they were falling off his butt. H had told me when he was in the hospital, they wanted to operate again. He lost our health insurance, said he couldn't afford it, he lost his auto insurance, because he paid it 41 days after he got a cancelation notice. Not to mention he lost the dental insurance, for non-payment again. So he has no medical,says he can't afford to go to the Dr. for his illness. After he got out of the hospital he said his medicine was $312 and he couldn't afford it. The man is sinking, now how low will he go, for LUST, it's sad. I just wonder if he even thinks about me, other than hatred. I really did pamper that man. <P>