Hi: I had been visiting this post regularly up to Christmas. Briefly, my husband and I weren't getting along, he changed towards me, don't get along with his family and coupled with many other things that left me "hanging out to dry" almost had a breakdown. To try and 'save myself' I filed for divorce without being in a fit state think rationally about it. He moved out and then went away and I eventually took a long trip and realised that I wanted to work at my marriage and was prepared to do whatever it took. After about six weeks my husband responded very positively which was on Christmas Day and from then on things started improving greatly, planning moving back in together and spending 4 nights a week together, things were really looking up, amazingly!<p>Then he went away to do a course for a week at the end of January and seemed to go downhill upon his return. At this stage I haven't seen him since the day after Valentine's Day and although we have spoken he has hung up on me twice. <p>Finally he went to see a therapist, alone. I cried with relief when I found out that he actually turned up as it had been so difficult to get him to go. I have spoken to him once since then which was yesterday. He told me that when he was on his course he was so wracked with anxiety and had a number of panic like attacks that they really disturbed him and he knew he had to do something about it. But it caused him to go downhill. He has been diagnosed with Dysthymia which is a form of chronic depression and it can affect everyday ability to function. He is only 33. It was suggested that he go on prozac which he declined for the moment. He is trying natural alternatives for the moment. He has said that he wants to do whatever he can to help himself, which is great! However, he does not want to even discuss us at all. His attitude about us is that he needs to get better and cannot promise me anything. He doesn't know how long it will take and I have to decide if I want to hang on until he is ready. He doesn't want to keep me hanging on and so is trying to be straight with me. In the meantime I don't know what I should do. I don't want to go the divorce route but feel that I am getting absolutely nothing out of this relationship at the moment. It's a gamble to wait for him. The problem is he is acting as if he has no regard or concern for me whatsoever. He is inconsiderate and chooses to remain in the company of others besides me. I have been so good to him for years, may be too good to him and feel I am in limbo. I am only living where I am living to be with him and my family are in another country.<p>Has anyone had any experience with this specific disease? If so I would appreciate any help that you can give me or any advice as to how I can handle him and the situation. I have been very unselfish but now feel that I have a life to live to and I am only existing at the moment and feel like that has been the case for the past few years!<p>Replies welcome!<p>Fionn

Fionn,<br>I may be going through a similar ordeal. I was recommended a book called "I Don't Want to Talk About It" by Terrance Real.This book deals specifically with male depression. I am only about half way thru but have found it helpful for me. At least I can feel less blame and a bit more empathy towards what he may be going through. I found it in the library. Give it a shot...it can't hurt.<br>Take care,<br>Sheila

Thank you Sheila. I certainly will. Do you still live with your husband? For me that is a big source of my feelings of hopelessness as I don't see him and before he went on his course I saw quite a lot of him. I feel so much that he doesn't really care about me and it is so hard for me to cope with!<p>I'll try the library today.<p>Take great care and good luck,<p>Fionn

Fionn,<br>My husband is going through lots right now. He wants a separation to get his "head" together. I am not in agreement with this but I can't stop him from leaving. I am in the process of discussing things with a lawyer and making up a separation agreement that will benifit both of us ( or at least look out for my best interests) I am giving him his "space" but at the same time we are having fun... it seems like it has to be on his schedule though...hmm... He is not ready to run out the door and has even talked about waiting until the school year is over so as not to disrupt our daughters schedule. He is a very controlling individual. But, I knew this from the beginning and his personality complimented mine. We have been married for almost 13 years and have had some really fun times. I guess the controlling obsessive compulsive type A personality goes through mid life crisis's earlier than others(he is 34) ane he also is not willing to accept any blame or that there could be a problem with him. I have brought my inlaws into this mess and they too are very concerned for my h. I am talked out! I am hoping someone else can reach him! Stress Factor is another great book dealing with controlling personalities.<br>Wow am I long winded...sorry!<br>Sheila

Hi Sheila:<p>Thanks again for your response, it really helps me. This morning I can hardly see out of my eyes from crying so much all day yesterday. However, yesterday I went into the library looking for the book that you recommended but they didn't have it. I did sit there and read through another book called 'The Good News About Depression' which I enjoyed along with a number of articles I found on the Internet yesterday morning. I don't know if you use AskJeeves.com but it scans all the search engines and gets so much more information together. I learned a lot.<p>Everything in your latest post I can relate to. My husband had mentioned last year before I filed for divorce, about needing to be by himself to get himself sorted out and that is still one of the reasons why he is slow to move back in because he feels that he needs space. He also realizes that his mood swings cause such disruption and probably wants to diminish the direct affect they may have on us on a daily basis. The part about having fun......but only on his schedule is also identical to me and is a great source of frustration. One can get really tired of it. Not to mention the control issue. I have come to realize that my husband is controlling, very manipulative and I feel has been very selfish lately. He is not at all a selfish person but I suppose feels like he needs to just concentrate on himself at the moment. I can understand that. I have started to call him 'Chairman of the Board" which he gets a laugh out of and actually really loves being called, becuase he wants to be the boss all the time. He knows he is not but wants me to just let him think he is!!! Men!!!!!<p>You come across as being very 'together' in your posts. I felt like that up until 10 days ago and just took a nose dive in a reaction towards him. I need to be a strong stake in the ground that cannot be so easily wavered.<p>I called one of my sisters last night and spoke at length about my situation. I was really upset and she was encouraging me to stop thinking about my husband and to start thinking about myself and what is good for me. She reminded me that I used to be the life and soul of the party always having great fun and doing mad things and she hasn't seen that side to me in years. It is so difficult living with a depressive and it definetly rubs off on the partner as I'm sure you well know.<p>A few minutes after I got off the phone with her, my husband called. I have an important meeting on Monday that I am stressed out about that has been 6 years in the making. He called to wish me luck and offer me support which I was really pleased about. I had left a message for him on Friday telling him that he had my 100% committment and support and if his therapist wanted to meet me to let me know how I can better help him and how I can better deal with him as a spouse, I would go in a heartbeat. I also told him about this meeting. I was terribly upset that he didn't call back as it made me feel that he didn't care. I forgot that he was sick with the flu and was in bed taking medication all day to knock him out to sleep which caused the delay in him calling. Mind you, I left the message on Friday afternoon and he called on Saturday night. Because he didn't call back that night I got into a state. That tells you a lot about me and my state of mind. Not to good, huh! When he called,I almost felt like I was talking to my old husband. He has also been off cigarettes for the past 7 weeks and is absolutely awful to deal with whilst attempting to quit, despite being on the patch. However, he has now gone back on them and sounds and behaves so much better. He mentioned that he read somewhere that there was an ingredient in cigarettes that helps depressives feel minutely less depressed. I could even tell him that he had hurt me the previous week and he apologized. He wasn't at all defensive. We chatted for almost two hours about lots of things. I even mentioned about going on a quick trip for a week and he said that he would love to but can't say yes or no yet. <p>He is talking very directly about being depressed and I mentioned when I thought it first started, noticeably due to a mini crisis for him in his career. To my surprise and delight he said quite calmly that it has been there long before that. I know it has but wanted to treat him gently. It was good to hear him say that. He is only 33 and is talking very positively now that he is young enough to do something about this and really intends to. I mentioned as well that the affects of this are far reaching on family members which he also accepted.<p>So, you think you are long winded Sheila!!! After that call I felt so much better and was left with a sense of hope! Having said that I think I should entertain therapy to help me deal with it and to just learn better coping skills in general. I had been doing brilliantly since we started seeing each other again and his treatment of me last week just caused me to throw a 'wobbler'. He said to me not to let a set back stop me, encouraging me to stick with him and us. So, that's what I am going to do coupled with trying to do much much more for myself and to improve MY life and to have the life I want for myself.<p>Thanks for your ear Sheila, sorry if it's not a full one after my chewing on it. Thanks for the book recommendation, I will certainly look it up.<p>Do you pray at all? I have found that since my marriage took a nose dive that I turned back to religion and it has really helped me a lot. I think you contacting your in-laws was a good idea and I truly hope that they give both you and him the support you need. Unfortunately, I can't do that as my in-laws who drink too much and get depressed!!! think that it is my fault that their little angel is unhappy because I filed for divorce. It wouldn't even enter their heads that he could be other than an angel and that I might have had reason to do so. <p>I wish you the very best of luck. You sound like you have your head screwed on. Something will 'click' with your husband to get help. Tell him that if he doen't deal with it now, he will just move on to the next girlfriend, the next wife and will have all the same problems. That made my husband realise that there was merit in what I was saying. I have the attitude that I know he is going to get better and I want to be the one to be around when it happens, particularly after all these years of putting up with it and sticking by him!!<p>Good luck and God Bless Sheils.<p>Fionn

Hi Sheila:<p>Thanks again for your response, it really helps me. This morning I can hardly see out of my eyes from crying so much all day yesterday. However, yesterday I went into the library looking for the book that you recommended but they didn't have it. I did sit there and read through another book called 'The Good News About Depression' which I enjoyed along with a number of articles I found on the Internet yesterday morning. I don't know if you use AskJeeves.com but it scans all the search engines and gets so much more information together. I learned a lot.<p>Everything in your latest post I can relate to. My husband had mentioned last year before I filed for divorce, about needing to be by himself to get himself sorted out and that is still one of the reasons why he is slow to move back in because he feels that he needs space. He also realizes that his mood swings cause such disruption and probably wants to diminish the direct affect they may have on us on a daily basis. The part about having fun......but only on his schedule is also identical to me and is a great source of frustration. One can get really tired of it. Not to mention the control issue. I have come to realize that my husband is controlling, very manipulative and I feel has been very selfish lately. He is not at all a selfish person but I suppose feels like he needs to just concentrate on himself at the moment. I can understand that. I have started to call him 'Chairman of the Board" which he gets a laugh out of and actually really loves being called, becuase he wants to be the boss all the time. He knows he is not but wants me to just let him think he is!!! Men!!!!!<p>You come across as being very 'together' in your posts. I felt like that up until 10 days ago and just took a nose dive in a reaction towards him. I need to be a strong stake in the ground that cannot be so easily wavered.<p>I called one of my sisters last night and spoke at length about my situation. I was really upset and she was encouraging me to stop thinking about my husband and to start thinking about myself and what is good for me. She reminded me that I used to be the life and soul of the party always having great fun and doing mad things and she hasn't seen that side to me in years. It is so difficult living with a depressive and it definetly rubs off on the partner as I'm sure you well know.<p>A few minutes after I got off the phone with her, my husband called. I have an important meeting on Monday that I am stressed out about that has been 6 years in the making. He called to wish me luck and offer me support which I was really pleased about. I had left a message for him on Friday telling him that he had my 100% committment and support and if his therapist wanted to meet me to let me know how I can better help him and how I can better deal with him as a spouse, I would go in a heartbeat. I also told him about this meeting. I was terribly upset that he didn't call back as it made me feel that he didn't care. I forgot that he was sick with the flu and was in bed taking medication all day to knock him out to sleep which caused the delay in him calling. Mind you, I left the message on Friday afternoon and he called on Saturday night. Because he didn't call back that night I got into a state. That tells you a lot about me and my state of mind. Not too good, huh! When he called,I almost felt like I was talking to my old husband. He has also been off cigarettes for the past 7 weeks and is absolutely awful to deal with whilst attempting to quit, despite being on the patch. However, he has now gone back on them and sounds and behaves so much better. He mentioned that he read somewhere that there was an ingredient in cigarettes that helps depressives feel minutely less depressed. I could even tell him that he had hurt me the previous week and he apologized. He wasn't at all defensive. We chatted for almost two hours about lots of things. I even mentioned about going on a quick trip for a week and he said that he would love to but can't say yes or no yet. <p>He is talking very directly about being depressed and I mentioned when I thought it first started, noticeably due to a mini crisis for him in his career. To my surprise and delight he said quite calmly that it has been there long before that. I know it has but wanted to treat him gently. It was good to hear him say that. He is only 33 and is talking very positively now that he is young enough to do something about this and really intends to. I mentioned as well that the affects of this are far reaching on family members which he also accepted.<p>So, you think you are long winded Sheila!!! After that call I felt so much better and was left with a sense of hope! Having said that I think I should entertain therapy to help me deal with it and to just learn better coping skills in general. I had been doing brilliantly since we started seeing each other again and his treatment of me last week just caused me to throw a 'wobbler'. He said to me not to let a set back stop me, encouraging me to stick with him and us. So, that's what I am going to do coupled with trying to do much much more for myself and to improve MY life and to have the life I want for myself.<p>Thanks for your ear Sheila, sorry if it's not a full one after my chewing on it. Thanks for the book recommendation, I will certainly look it up.<p>Do you pray at all? I have found that since my marriage took a nose dive that I turned back to religion and it has really helped me a lot. I think you contacting your in-laws was a good idea and I truly hope that they give both you and him the support you need. Unfortunately, I can't do that as my in-laws who drink too much and get depressed!!! think that it is my fault that their little angel is unhappy because I filed for divorce. It wouldn't even enter their heads that he could be other than an angel and that I might have had reason to do so. <p>I wish you the very best of luck. You sound like you have your head screwed on. Something will 'click' with your husband that will make him get down off his pride to get help. Tell him that if he does'nt deal with it now, he will just move on to the next girlfriend, the next wife and will have all the same problems. That made my husband realise that there was merit to what I was saying. I have the attitude that I know he is going to get better and I want to be the one to be around when it happens, particularly after all these years of putting up with it and sticking by him, but mainly because I just love him!! <p>Another thing to pass on to your husband, my husband is now saying that his life is really not that bad, but not great, the calming affect of cigarettes, St.John's Wort and Ginko Biloba. Whilst that is somewhat positive it concerns me that he would then think he doesn't need to go to the therapist. I mentioned to him then even though that may be the case, he was using all his energy just to hang on in life and to get by daily. That is not what life is about, that is not quality of life. I told him that he deserves so much better, we all do, that he derserves to have a full and healthy and funfilled life and that is why he should make sure to continue to pursue the therapy and presciption medication if the herbal remedies don't work. (He had been prescribed Zoloft before about two years ago and was told he was a maniac depressive which I know and he knows he is not. The drug didn't do him any good and he eventually got off it although he said last night that maybe it was working and that is why he thought he didn't need it as he had been improving and got into that frame of mind!!) He was prescribed Prozac last week and declined for the moment as there is a complication of being on prescription drugs and his career. If needs be he will go on the Prozac after he tries the herbal alternative. Talk to your husband about the quality of his life. Men are so bad at feeling they are inferior if they have to deal with this type of thing in their lives. Machoism my hat! Who gives a damn what people will think, does that mean we care more about what others think then we do about ourselves? That's pretty pathetic and it happens all the time. Parents need to raise their children and particularly boys to realise that it is okay to fail and to cry and to express feelings. Real men don't do this, that and the other according to society. I always say real men do what they want!!!<p>Good luck and God Bless Sheila.<p>Fionn<p>[This message has been edited by Fionn (edited 02-28-99).]<p>[This message has been edited by Fionn (edited 02-28-99).]

Hi Fionn,<br>I'm glad to hear you guys are talking. Things sound hopeful for the two of you! You mentioned that I sound like I have it "together"...unfortunately I just hide it real well!!! I had a major emotional fall right after xmas(too long to get into) and started individual counseling. I guess it has helped a little and I am trying to do things for me even though I am the kind of person who gets enjoyment out of doing for others (him).I am a little down today because I found some info in hubbys briefcase about apartments and notes to himself to ask the lawyer...the reality of it all hurts sooooo much! Hopefully, tomorrow will be a brighter day <br>Sheila

Hi ladies,<p>I hope you don't mind me butting in. My husband is also depressed. He has spent the last 6 weeks in a mental health hospital. He met a woman on the internet also, on a depression forum. I found emails that they were sending to each other, talking about how they couldn't wait to see each other, to touch, hug and love. Anyhow I told him her or me. Now I am being told that I can not choose his friends and I am controlling and have been for our whole marriage. We decided to see a counsellor but as usual the counsellor is dealing with his depression before dealing with this other woman. He came home for the weekend and called her on Saturday even though I asked him not to. Again I have not right to chose his friends. Now we are talking divorce again and I am planning on calling a lawyer tomorrow. I feel as if the whole mental health system has let us down. He is being told that he can only think of himself now and can not make any life decisions. My counsellor said that he is making a life decision by not stopping this relationship. Any advice?<p>Gwen

Gwen,<p>My H also suffers from depression and I was told the same thing. I found it awful how he was given permission to be selfish for the sake of his depression. I called his therapist and told him what this was doing to my marriage. He agreed with me and we started working on both. I don't think it should be accepted as an excuse to behave poorly. Don't give him the excuse. <p>Steph

My H also suffers from depression. He has been on medication for about 4 weeks now. I can see him returning to his old self (somewhat). He says he doesn't love me anymore. Have any of you dealt with this in conjunction with depression? I know there is no other woman involved and he doesn't plan on going anywhere. He said he will give us a chance and the medication a chance to work. I am feeling so devastated because for 15 years we had a great marriage, he even said so. I hope it's only the depression talking and convincing him this is a hopeless situation. What do you think? Anyone?

Hi Sheila:<p>Forgive me for not responding sooner to your reply but I needed to go away for a few days and just arrived back tonight. It does one the world of good! Clarity and grabbing control of oneself!<p>I'm sorry to read that you have been down and as that was a couple of days ago I do hope things have changed for you. I went to stay with my sisters and one of them gave me a book which I have just started but already like what I am reading. It is making me 'sit up'!! It's called "Women who love too much" by Robin Norwood. The message so far is that you have to stop making excuses for your spouse and look at why you entertain their behaviour. As you entertain this behaviour, the question is why and is there something in you, some need that is being met by being with the 'afflicted' spouse, aside from love!! I'll let you know how it goes!<p>One thing that struck me about your reply was your mention that you found things in his briefcase that upset you. My immediate thought was wondering why you were looking in his briefcase. In my relationship I could look through anything belonging to my husband and he didn't mind although I know to have a healthy respect for his 'things'! Do you have this relationship with your husband or were you not supposed to be looking? I don't mean to appear to be mean Sheila and I hope I do not offend you, it's just that I believe when we look through things we are not supposed to we often find things that upset us. Two ways of looking at that, one may be it's good to have the heads up or two, what we don't know won't hurt us! I don't know which would have been better for you and I feel so bad for you that you found something that caused you to be so upset! Please try and think about yourself and your health. You owe it to yourself, we all do. We tend to spent more time worrying about 'him' then we do about ourselves. It's built in to a woman but we can all take it too far. <p>I spoke with my husband tonight and he is taking St.John's Wort and Ginko Biloba and is smoking outright again. He sounds so much better I can't believe it. I asked if he felt that it had anything to do with the herbal cocktail and he said that he certainly felt much more optimistic and needed to simplify his life and get on with it, grow up and so on. I was delighted. He sounded so 'light'. He's going to the therapist tomorrow and is really looking forward to it. I told him that I hope she is ugly and frumpy and we had a good laugh. If she's not I'll have to do something about that, just kidding!!! He realises that this is indeed a gift to himself. I can't believe the change in one week, although I am going to be realistically cautious and he was probably ready for this change! I hope this gives you hope for your own situation. It's awful for your spouse to leave but it doesn't mean that it's not a good thing for both and it can be a great time of learning for you about yourself and indulging yourself for a change.<p>Take care of yourself and let me know how you are doing!<p>Fionn<p>

Steph:<p>You are so right and I admire you for calling your husband's therapist, a thing I would be very hesitant to do before reading your post, but if something happens that would warrant my doing that I'll be thinking of you and will do it.<p>I hope things are going well for you now that you took that further step.<p>Fionn

Hi Gwen:<p>I feel so bad for you as I cannot imagine what you must be going through as your H is obviously more seriously depressed than my experience and that must be so difficult to deal with. I think he is manipulating you by telling you that you are controlling, it's just to put you down and make him feel better, to cause you to 'back off' as it were and weaken you. In reality, he sounds as though he is the one that is controlling and knows how to control and manipulate you. Watch out for that. Don't you think that he is just looking for a 'high' with this internet relationship, a form of escapism, a fantasy and it is nothing real at all. I'm not saying you should take it lightly but I'm sure that time will put it into proper perspective for him and you also. He sounds very angry and is striking out. Unfortunately, you are the one being hurt. Your counsellor is completely right and his counsellor should be advising him not to complicate his life even further for either of your sakes. Surely his counsellor knows that this is behaviour that should be stopped right away! Can't your counsellor call his one!! <p>I wish you the best and hope that you are looking after yourself and your own health too. Depressives have a great way of transferring their problems onto others and we end up believing that we may have a particular problem that is not really there! I think this happens very easily when we have low self esteem or when we feel beaten down and weakened from dealing with all of this. I can be objective now only because I feel very strong at the moment. We'll see in a few days!!!!!!!!!<p>Take care,<p><br>Fionn

Igarret:<p>It's great that your H is feeling better, however, I know that when something like this is going on in a person's life and they start to get better, sometimes they do not want to be with the person that was around them during the bad times. It could be a spouse, a supportive friend, it could even be a job they were doing during the bad period. It's because of the association, the negativity of it all. Why don't you ask your H if he could relate to this. The great thing for you is that he doesn't want to leave. He could be embarrassed by his behaviour and by telling you that he doesn't love you any more he may in fact be trying to keep a distance between you to protect himself!! I think there is a good possibility that this is the depression and the hopelessness talking. He could be even trying to give you a way out, pushing you away so that you don't have to go through this because he loves you so much. You never know, men are so different from us. My H called me on Saturday night after my very bad day and when I explained how I had been so upset and hurt he said to me that I should try not to let one setback make me feel like not trying any more. It's easy for him to say one setback as he didn't see how upset I was but much more importantly, his words were those of a depressive! Be patient, you are still together and you sound like you are coming from a very happy marriage prior to this illness becoming part of it. You have a great chance of repairing things and keep with it. Pray for the strength and a friend of mine said something very interesting to me last week. She said that she always prays that God changes her even though the apparent problem may be with her H. I thought that was interesting as we should all be changing all the time. Remember, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.<p>Good luck to you and hang in there!<p>Fionn

Thank you for your insight. And yes, I do pray every day that I can change the things that need to be changed. Obviously, I was not meeting some of his needs or he wouldn't have had these thoughts. I pray for him and us every day and so far, I feel like the situation is getting better. I do love him and he is a very good man and husband. I hope and pray for the best.<br>Thanks again.

Thanks for the somewhat encouraging words. The briefcase thing...I was looking for an old tupperware container that I thought would be growing funny things but I had no luck with the container. Anyway, I am over it now. He is still on his "bike week" trip. I guess he got stuck in some terrible weather in the Carolinas. He will hopefully make it home tomorrow. I went to see a lawyer yesterday to kind of figure out what my next move should be. I have to protect myself should anything transpire. We discussed lots of things(I guess I didn't realize separating could be such a paper headache!)and now I am just gathering up important papers and then playing the waiting game...all the while trying to be calm, cool and collected. Man this is no fun! Gotta run..lets all try to see a glimmer of sunshine...I know it's there!<br>Sheila

Hi Sheila:<p>I'm glad to read that you seem to be in better spirits. May be your husband will come back with a different attitude. It's amazing what a bit of distance can do for you, to gain more clarity. <p>It's one big roller coaster ride but sooner or later the ride has to come to an end and you can will be able to get off!! Keep positive and strong and remember we are all willing the best for you.<p>Take care,<p>Fionn

Hi Carol:<p>Thank you for your response. I will go and check out your post on the infidelity forum. My husband was put on Zoloft before and as he was not ready to acknowledge that he really had a 'disease' did not give it the chance it may have deserved. He went off it not to long after starting to take it. <p>However, right now, he seems to be 'awakening' to a sense of self awareness as to what has been going on with him for years since his early teens, which I think is wonderful. In turn, he seems to be realising things about us. This has been with the help of therapy and a mixture of St. John's Wort and Ginko Biloba only for the past two and a half weeks. He is so much easier to talk to and is very pleased that he is going for therapy. I feel so optimistic and hopeful for both him and us. I believe strongly in him and know that he is a really good guy and love him deeply. I think it is amazing when one begins to actually accept their 'lot' in life because then you can work with it and aim towards a fulfilling and wonderful life!!<p>You are so right that this disease affects so many around the afflicted, although I don't know that anyone in his life besides him, has been as much affected as I have. I do not say that in any sort of self pitying manner as I don't feel like that at all. I do know the facts of being on the receiving end of someone who is irrational, excessively moody and whose powers of perception are completely out of whack that it makes you wonder if it is you that is actually the person in the 'wrong'. I felt as though I was going crazy and losing it before I filed for divorce. I knew that so much wasn't making sense about my husband yet he seemed so well able to rationalise everything if we talked about it that I began to think it must have been me. However, I know myself again and am strong again. I know that as much as I am no angel, this disease has been a huge contributing factor. <p>Now I can see the light at the end of the tunnel for someone I care about more than anything and also for myself.<p>I do hope that your life is improving all around since being on Zoloft. I will go to the therapist with my husband if needs be to learn how I can help him and myself to cope with him.<p>I wish you the very best for you future.<p>Take care,<p>Fionn