<BR>Met my W & kids for dinner tonight. I had high hopes...now I don't. She got hot after I mentioned I wanted to further discuss a better visitation arrangement privately (without little ears). To her it was non negotiable.<P>The threat from my W, "We are separated now (not divorced). If you go against me on this in court, you have just made our separation a divorce." I'm crushed. I don't like the spot I'm in...<P>DD<P>

What is your "better visitation arrangement."<P>IMHO, you need to stick to your guns. She is using your nature to get what she wants.<P>Protect your children.

Aaah, but it's my understanding that if the issue ends up before a judge - that current visitation arrangements are often upheld - or at least considered very seriously.<P>If you let this go, you may find an you have an expensive uphill court battle to see your kids more. <P>If you have to pursue it legally, better now than later.<P>I'm sorry you are stuck having to choose btwn what looks like your marriage or your kids! <BR><P>------------------<BR><I>Pain is a given, misery is optional.</I>

This weekend my wife told me that if I didn't let her take a home appliance that she wouldn't let me see the kids. The only reason I tell you this is that I believe in our emotional states we often say things we don't mean. I will be going to court to ensure of proper custody/visitation.<P>For my wife and I a "D" has been filed. So I have nothing to loose.<P>Praying for ya!<P><BR>Bill<P>------------------<BR>-There are none so blind as those who refuse to see!-

Hi DD,<P>Doesn't she change constantly? Don't know from one minute to the next how she will react? <P>If yes, then don't take it all too seriously. Be preapred for the worst and protect yourself. You may want to speak with the Harley's about a plan B letter. They may help you draft it. Remember at a certain point you may need to change from plan a to plan b to protect yourself and your family. <P>There are many of the guys out here that can better understand the problems courts try to cause for the fathers who are trying to do the right thing. Sometimes the courts feel the mothers do no wrong. From what I have seen here and known in the past, the courts need to wake up and see that either mate can easily step out on their family and cause problems. <P>I am the W and my H was the WS. Yet, by the courts standards, I was treated like the loser (according to the lawyer I consulted). This stupid state only looks at income not the victim. <P>So take the recommendation nd protect yourself. Timing is of the utmost importance. Not just what you do but when....<P>Take Care,<BR>L.<BR>

Thanks for the replies-<P>Orchid...your right on the money...talk about a screwy situation...one minute one thing the next something else...Is there any way to take emotion out? It would make things a lot easier.<P>BTW...Saturday went great with all!<P>DD