Hi HopelessAZ, c00ker, and well, just everybody!<P>Yep, the big "D" was final today. Thanks for the hugs. I am strangely and a bit unexpectedly "under"whelmed by it all. <P>Today, in many respects, was just like any other day...got up, went to work, came home, did the dishes and laundry...all very routine. Suddenly, there's this piece of paper on my table and it's supposed to mean that I'm different. But I'm who I was yesterday. And who I'll be tomorrow.<P>At a few counseling sessions I went to, the counselor kept asking me how HIS divorce could be my gain...well, I guess I figured out that I am a whole person on my own - not half of something. I figured out I have value and worth despite what my EX (I can say that now) tries to lay at my feet. I figured out that there are other people who WANT to be around me...not out of some 15 year obligation, but because they enjoy who I am. I figured out that I don't have to settle for a relationship that is less than great. <P>It's weird but I feel a little bad that I don't feel sad. After months of wallowing in depression, one-sided effort to keep my marriage together, the horrendous emotional roller coaster and "pining away" for a man who tossed me aside like yesterday's garbage...I feel relief to have it over. I feel free. I don't pine anymore. I wish him all the joy of living with a woman he won't be able to trust...he'll finally know how it feels.<P>I'm beginning to ramble...so does all this show personal growth? Heck if I know. It's definitely a change for me from who I was a few years ago or even 9 months ago. I never knew I could feel such depths of depression, and I never knew how good it would feel to climb out of it. I am a stronger person now. <P>To those of you who have travelled this path with me from the day I stumbled onto this board in search of some help...I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are in some ways closer to me than my good friends and family, because I truly believe you can't understand what this is like unless you've experienced it. I know you all have...and you have shared your stories and wisdom and support with me at one of the lowest times in my life and helped me come through the otherside. Thanks.<P>Lisa<P>------------------<BR>I am woman...hear me roar...okay - meow...okay - purr? Hey, I'm working on it.

What a great attitude. Seems you have really come to terms with what has happened in your life in a very positive way. Keep up the good work.<P>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by On*My*Own:<BR><B> But I'm who I was yesterday. And who I'll be tomorrow.<BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Mostly. A little stronger, a little wiser. <P>There is a lot of life left out there for you, and somewhere, I suspect, a really nice guy for you to share it with. Lucky guy.<P>Take care Lisa. You didn't lose. He did.<BR><P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain <BR>and makes the sun come out again

I know how you feel,I am getting there myself. <P>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by On*My*Own:<BR><B> Suddenly, there's this piece of paper on my table and it's supposed to mean that I'm different. But I'm who I was yesterday. And who I'll be tomorrow.<P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>This is PROLIFIC... my AHA! moment of the day... so true, so true...<P>I'm speechless... this is what I have needed to hear, what I've needed to say...<P>...and YES, I am completely serious...<P>Thank you!! <P>**edit** Gee whiz, there I go -- ME ME ME -- I am very sorry for your pain, and there *is* pain, I know, even with the revelation that you are still you.<P><p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited May 05, 2001).]

((((((lisa))))))))<P>I'm sorry if I missed another post about the divorce. Its been a rough week for me.<P>I'm glad you are feeling ok about all this. Its been a long ride and you have grown so much, and I'm glad you changed your name too! <P>Hugs, Dana<BR>

Congrats on finally getting the whole mess over with and gaining the opportunity to move on and put the past behind you. *Hug*

Lisa<P>Great attitude! Just got there myself, what a journey we had to travel!!<BR>All of us who have endured this pain, have had to go through a trying process of redefinition and self realization.<BR>(quote from one of many many books! <BR>We are helpless to prevent bad things from happening to us, but the wisdom we gain from our suffering can enable us to appreciate life in a way we have never known before. <P>Hugs to you,<BR>Petrie

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by On*My*Own:<BR><B>Hi HopelessAZ, c00ker, and well, just everybody!<P>Yep, the big "D" was final today. Thanks for the hugs. I am strangely and a bit unexpectedly "under"whelmed by it all. <P>Today, in many respects, was just like any other day...got up, went to work, came home, did the dishes and laundry...all very routine. Suddenly, there's this piece of paper on my table and it's supposed to mean that I'm different. But I'm who I was yesterday. And who I'll be tomorrow.<P>At a few counseling sessions I went to, the counselor kept asking me how HIS divorce could be my gain...well, I guess I figured out that I am a whole person on my own - not half of something. I figured out I have value and worth despite what my EX (I can say that now) tries to lay at my feet. I figured out that there are other people who WANT to be around me...not out of some 15 year obligation, but because they enjoy who I am. I figured out that I don't have to settle for a relationship that is less than great. <P>It's weird but I feel a little bad that I don't feel sad. After months of wallowing in depression, one-sided effort to keep my marriage together, the horrendous emotional roller coaster and "pining away" for a man who tossed me aside like yesterday's garbage...I feel relief to have it over. I feel free. I don't pine anymore. I wish him all the joy of living with a woman he won't be able to trust...he'll finally know how it feels.<P>I'm beginning to ramble...so does all this show personal growth? Heck if I know. It's definitely a change for me from who I was a few years ago or even 9 months ago. I never knew I could feel such depths of depression, and I never knew how good it would feel to climb out of it. I am a stronger person now. <P>To those of you who have travelled this path with me from the day I stumbled onto this board in search of some help...I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are in some ways closer to me than my good friends and family, because I truly believe you can't understand what this is like unless you've experienced it. I know you all have...and you have shared your stories and wisdom and support with me at one of the lowest times in my life and helped me come through the otherside. Thanks.<P>Lisa<BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Hi On my Own:<P>I'm not at the "D" stage yet but will be soon...everyday is a new trial in pain and betrayal for me. And I was left flat footed for 2 weeks dealing with house and our 3 children while he got his bachelor pad up and running. I know what you mean when you say that the H will be with someone who he won't be able to trust...so be it. But I read replies like yours and know there is an end in site to all this pain, anxiety and depression..it's been 3 weeks since he left and every now and then I see a spot of "light" at the end of the tunnel and at times do not hurt much when I know he's with her...here's to coming through the fire for you....(((((((on my own)))))))).<P>Karen

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by On*My*Own:<BR><B><BR>It's weird but I feel a little bad that I don't feel sad. After months of wallowing in depression, one-sided effort to keep my marriage together, the horrendous emotional roller coaster and "pining away" for a man who tossed me aside like yesterday's garbage...I feel relief to have it over. I feel free. I don't pine anymore. I wish him all the joy of living with a woman he won't be able to trust...he'll finally know how it feels.<BR></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR><B>Lisa</B>,<P>As I think I once wrote to you, there is a grief process, but there are better things on the other side.<P>Your marriage died and, in some ways, the man you once knew did also. Sounds like you are doing well in working through the grief process.<P>Wishing you many, many better tommorrows,<P>Steve<BR>

Lisa,<P>I'm adding your post to my Favorites file. It gave me goosebumps! <P>I'm still flopping around like a fish out of water, wondering what to do and how to find the strength to do it, but I will eventually make the decision... <P>I hope to make it through with grace and your post tells me I can do just that.<P>Snow