Hello friends,<P>Tomorrow, I'm taking a huge step. I'm going back to church. I've neglected it for a while now. I feel almost guilty that it takes a sudden earthquake in my life to get me there, but I was going every week when my H first left and it brought me great peace.<P>I've been reading the bible a lot lately. I was not brought up going to church, so this is still somewhat new to me. I have a woman's devotional bible that helps me find certain things, but I'd like to read some of what has brought others comfort here tonite so I can sleep.<P>To all of those who replied to my other post about reality, thank you, I will be writing back shortly.<P>Much hugs to all, Dana<BR>

Dana,<P>I just read through your other post. I do feel bad that you are going through so much pain. I do agree with what TS said on the other thread. I have to pray for your BF marriage to be restored if that is God's will. I do believe God wants all marriages restored but I do know sometimes we turn from his will or we get tired of waiting or trusting God to restore bad marriages. I know first hand what divorce does to children. My parents were divorced and I divorced my first husband. God doesn't want me with my first husband it is too late for that, but I do see what it did to my sons. He remarried and so did I. I will wait for God to restore my current marriage. I will not date. It would be better for my children for me to be alone than for them to have a step father. That is not to say that there are not good stepfathers. I am just telling were God is leading me. We each must seek God for answers to our situations. If there is any chance for BF's marriage to be restored,no matter what things look like now, then please get out of the way. <P>I am so glad you are going back to church. God will never betray you. He sometimes allows things to happen to bring us closer to Him. I have no idea what God is doing in your life. That is between you and Him. I can tell you what God has shown me. When I keep getting hurt by something, I have learned to say O.K. God what do you want from me, what am I missing? He shows me through my pain what I am not learning and then I ask Him to change me. Sometimes it is relationships I keep trying to contol, sometimes it is shame I need to let go, sometimes it's depending on something or someone besides God to care for me. Whatever it is I have to get it from or give it to God. <P>It is like if you keep hitting the same brick wall, you finally learn that you have to do something different or you will have more pain. The first part is realizing you are hitting the brick wall. Then go to the Lord for the answer. <P>I hope this helps Dana, God wants you to have the desires of your heart but, you must seek Him first before anything or anyone else. Also, God knows your heart's desires better than you know them. He will do want is best for His children. I do hope this helps you. <P>Seek His face,<BR>gentle <p>[This message has been edited by gentle (edited May 05, 2001).]

Dear Dana,<P>Me again. Here are a couple that have helped me:<P>Phil 4:13 "For all things I have the strength by virtue of him who imparts power to me." This was written by the Apostle Paul after he endured many hardship, both physical and menta1.<P>1Cor 10:13 "No temptation has taken you except what is common to men. But God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear, but along with the temptation he will also make the way outin order for you to be able to endure it."<P>L.

DanaB,<BR> <A HREF="http://www.heartlight.org/" TARGET=_blank>http://www.heartlight.org/</A> <P>This site has lots of great articles, I get most of their daily messages delieved to my mail box, don't always read them all. However when I am in the deepest valleys, I find that there is usually a message that will touch my heart in my mail box.<P>Hope you enjoy your church, may you find the peace that you are looking for there.

Dana,<P><BR>I sent you an e-mail with some...but I'll post my most favorite ones here...Isaiah 53 and 54...

Hi Dana,<P>I don't post very much, but I do come to read quite frequently. Here are some of my favorite verses:<P>Isaiah 41:10 "Do not fear, for I am with you ( I like to say my name here)<BR>Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.<BR>I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,<BR>Surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."<P>Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope."<P>Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me, for I am gentle and humble of heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."<P>Just a few, I could post more if you like.<BR>

Psalm 103<P>8<BR>The Lord is compassionate and gracious,<BR>slow to anger, abounding in love,<BR>11<BR>For as high as the heavens are above the earth,<BR>so great is his love for those who fear him,<BR>12<BR>as far as the east is from the west,<BR>so far has he removed our transgressions from us.<P><BR>Ephesians 4<P>31<BR>Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.<BR>32<BR>Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.<BR><p>[This message has been edited by T-L-C (edited May 06, 2001).]

Hebrews 13:5- Never will I leave you,never will I forsake you. Psalm 34:18- The Lord is close to the broken-hearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 62:5-6- Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. Luke 12:22- Do not worry about your life, what you will eat;or about your body, what you will wear, Life is more than food and the body more than clothes.Who of you by worrying can add a single day to his life? Sind you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

Hi friends,<P>Thank you so much for the replies. I've been so down and sad I forgot I posted this. I copied this down to highlight in my bible and will read them. I'll write more later on it, because I'm late for an appointment, but thank you for replying.<P>Hugs, Dana<BR>

DanaB,<P>I think there is one chapter that we ALL can relate to at least a little bit - the Book of Job. Sometimes we get so caught up in our own suffering, we forget what real suffering is: Like those who wonder where their next meal is coming from....<P>I think Job should be an example to us all as to what it takes to have true faith in God...<P>Mike<P>------------------<BR>God always waits for the right time to do the right thing in the right way.

Okay, being Jewish my "Bible" is only half of yours (haha), but I still have three whole books that I LOVE.<P>One is the book of Ruth. Ruth was a gentile woman who married a Jewish man and then started to learn how to be Jewish. She really took it to her heart. Eventually she moved back to her husband's home town with the BIL and SIL. There was an accident and both husbands were killed. Ruth was faced with the option of returning to her old home towm and her old, gentile ways or remaining with her MIL and continuing to live a Jewish life, and she chose to stay. She was so faithful and steadfast, that eventually she met a great guy and became the mother of Jesse...who was the father of King David. This book is significant to me, because like Ruth, I am Jewish by choice.<P>The second book I now love is the book of Nehemiah. It's not an easy read, but the story is that Nehemiah was a poet and prophet, and God told him to go out and marry a whore--this did not make a lot of sense to Nehemiah, but he did it anyway. Well, the whore was used to being worthless and kept sneaking off at night to be with other men, and it was breaking Nehemiah's heart. Night after night, he would go out in search of her and tell her he loved her and bring her home, but somehow she never quite believed him. The beginning of this book are the poems that Nehemiah wrote about how much it hurt, how much he loved her but she wouldn't receive it, and how hard it was to keep searching for her every night. TALK ABOUT A BOOK that was appropriate to my situation!! OUCH!! BTW, the reason that God had Nehemiah marry a whore was so he could relate to how hard it is for God to love us (as his people), but we keep sneaking away from Him and don't receive His love!<P>Last but not least, I find great power from the book of Daniel. WHAT A GUY. When Daniel was a young man, he was so smart and handsome that he and his 3 friends were given special tutoring and priviledges, but the king told all his pupils to kneel before him, and Daniel and his friends would not do it. They were strong and stood firm for what they believed and for what they KNEW was right. You may have heard this story--they were thrown into a firey furnace, and Daniel walked right in because he knew God would protect him (one way or the other). This pissed off the king, so he through them into the lion's den--and God made the lions friendly big kitties! What faith, hey? It's inspiring.<P>Last but not least, I have one verse: "Guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life." I know there may be a thousand meanings for that verse, but for me, that verse was God directly telling me that my heart is precious and worth protecting. My heart brings life and joy to me while I am alive, and not only is it WORTH protecting, it is His will that I protect it. See my post entitled, ""Guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life" and you'll see what I mean.<P>{{{{{Dana}}}}}<P><BR>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

Thank you Mike and CJ.<P>I am constantly reminded of how many people all have some sort of problem or another. Sometimes even people whom we think have no problems, really have just as many.<P>I know there are days when I feel like I have more problems than anyone else. Some days, maybe in my world, its true, but I am also reminded everyday that there are others in great pain as well.<P>This is why I always try to read a new person's post even if I'm down, to understand that pain comes in many ways, and we all feel it the same and to each of us, I think our own pain is the greatest out there.<P>I plan on reading all these things when I get a moment of quiet tonite. My printer is broken or I'd print this list out. <P>CJ<P>Thank you for the stories. THe only I've heard of were Daniel's. But the one story reminds me of my situation in a slight way. When I first met bf, it was perfect. Right out of a romance novel. I've said this before, it was like a dream come true, or what I'd always hoped for, or just perfect. And I'm not kidding you , it was. I almost fully forgave my H for the affair, because if he felt this kind of high from love, than who was I to keep him from it. Well, this relationship was perfect for about 7 months. And I began to just "expect" it to be. I still thanked God every night for bf and all the joy he brought me, but you know, I really took much of it for granted.<P>Only now, can I go thru this pain and truly appreciate all the good times we had together. Before it was all just a fantasy, but now I realize it was more. I miss him terribly, and I still love him, and I have many moments where I feel enough strength to fight this out and keep our relationship. <P>All couples go thru issues that strengthen or destroy a relationship. This is one major issue, and I don't know if I can do it, but before I quit, I'd just like the opportunity to try. Thats all I asked of my marriage too, but I never was given the option. So again, who am I to stand in the way of Bf taking that one last chance weeks ago. <P>I try to be forgiving, and I think I am a very forgiving person. My friends say its why I get treated so badly, but I can't help who I am either.<P>Thank you both for the info. I'm hoping to read some of it myself tonite or tomorrow.<P>Hugs, Dana<BR>

Hi DanaB,<P>I too am glad you are going back to church. Just remember....the people there aren't perfect, even the pastor! They are searching and making their way thru life, just like you. Seek that fellowship, but above all else, seek God.<P>I wanted to share two things: First, the home page on my Internet Explorer each day is a daily devoational from the book "Streams in the Desert." <BR> <A HREF="http://www.backtothebible.org/devotions/classics/streams.htm" TARGET=_blank>www.backtothebible.org/devotions/classics/streams.htm</A> <P>I also bought the book so I wouldn't miss out on the weekends, when I have no computer access. I love this book, esp. during this time in my life. I hope you do too.<P>Secondly, let me share with you some verses that really got me thru the worst of time with my H's affiar, etc. It comes from Habakkuk. It reminds me that even tho all is dark and hope is gone, I must still praise the Lord. It's not because of what He'll do for me (which is great!), but it's because of who He is....He is worthy.<P>"(3:17) Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, (18) yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. (19) The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights."<P>You can basically fill in the blank....."tho my H left me, tho my finances are worrisome, tho my future has been destroyed, tho my heart is broken....." Yet I <B>WILL</B> rejoice in the Lord! (Even when I don't feel like it.) And because the Lord enhabits the praises of His people, He will be with me and enable me to rise above (go on the heights) my troubles.<P>I hope this helps. Good luck at church....it may take a while to feel at home, but make a commitment and give it time.<P>Much Aloha,<BR>Mrs.O<BR>

I did grow up going to church (catholic), but never really tried to read/know the bible. That is the one MAJOR change that I have made this year.<P>For me, I found reading the "stories" in the bible to be a real turning point in my spirtual growth.<P>I bought a study bible, that explains a lot, when I have a hard time following it.<P>I read and reread "Ecclesiastes" and "Job" to get through the really tough times and recently found myself drawn to David's life in "Samuel" 1 and 2. <P>Even more recently I read the story of Jonah...and found myself feeling a lot like him....not in the whale, but sitting alone up on the hill, sulking because the people of Nineveh were forgiven and not given their "due" punishment.<P>Talk about finally seeing the plank in your own eye!!!!<P>A good friend and I also did a bible study by Beth Moore called "Breaking Free, Finding Liberty in Christ"... We borrowed the audiotapes and bought the workbook at a bookstore. That particular bible study was like spiritual psychoanalysis for me. <P>I used to think that the bible was just "some book" that was written so long ago, that the stories couldn't have much to say to us these days...boy was I wrong.

TooTrusting...<P>When you read the bible do you make it personal? Like change the thee's and thous, and he's and such to your name?<P>Like for example...For God so loved the "world" (your name<BR>inserted there) that He gave His only begotten Son that <BR>Whosoever (you name inserted there) believeth in Him, shall not perish but have everlasting life.<P>or..I will never leave you (your name inserted there) nor forsake you (your name).<P>I know that when I use my name..it makes the Bible come alive to me..it makes that love letter from God more personal..and it helps me understand His love, grace and mercy so much more..

Not meaning any disrespect...but it was Hosea that married<BR>the whore..

Oh, ThornedRose, you are right! Hosea married the whore and Nehemiah rebuilt! I remember reading Nehemiah as an analogy for rebuilding, and it must have stuck in my head.<P>Oops--Dana, head to Hosea!<P>I have another favorite I want to tell you about. It is Psalms 121, and it starts with, "I will lift up my eyes unto the hills. From whence cometh my help?" Since I live in the lovely Rocky Mountain state, I have always turned to the mountains to reconnect with God, and I have always read that first first this way: "I will lift up my eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help." : - )<P>121:2My help comes from God,Who made heaven and earth. <P>121:3He will not allow your foot to be moved. He who keeps you will not slumber. <P>121:4Behold, he who keeps Israel (the Jewish people=me!)<BR>will neither slumber nor sleep. <P>121:5God is your keeper.<BR>God is your shade on your right hand. <P>121:6The sun will not harm you by day,<BR>Nor the moon by night. <P>121:7God will keep you from all evil.<BR>He will keep your soul. <P>121:8God will keep your going out and your coming in,<BR>From this time forth, and forevermore. <P><P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.