My brother has recently left his wife.<BR>He says that he isn't happy, and hasn't been<BR>for some time. He says he has done enough trying<BR>and he just wants to stop. He says that he's not<BR>in love with her anymore. He has hardened his heart<BR>so that he doesn't get hurt himself anymore, so he says.<BR>His wife is very willing to fix this, but she is getting<BR>sick of feeling like thier is something horribly wrong<BR>with her that he can't love her. <BR>My brother has always been a sensitive person, but now<BR>he is being very stubborn and hard.<BR>I don't know what to say to him to make him see that<BR>he has to grow up, and think of his family first, before<BR>he looses everything. He has a 3 year old too.<BR>I can't stop thinking about this, and there has to be<BR>something i can do to help in fixing this.

Welcome <B>Citrus</B>...<P>There is a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... and more ideally... with your brother!... <P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P><B>About your post</B>...<P>See if you can direct him to this site!<P>Buy him a copy of <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6020_needs.html" TARGET=_blank> "His Needs, Her Needs"</A>...<BR>...and it might give him a different perspective!<P>Is there a chance he is having an affair...<BR>...might be covering it very well?!<P>You SIL needs to start on a <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>...<BR>Check out my post <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.)</A>.<BR>It is possible to Plan A... even when the spouse has moved out!<P>Keep on talking with your brother...<BR>...and get the rest of your family... to do gentle persuading as well.<P>and... oh yes... PRAY!<P> <P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000254.html" TARGET=_blank>Jim</A> / <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000037.html" TARGET=_blank>NSR</A>

Citrus,<P>You need to so caringly, lovingly, graciously "slap him upside the head".... I am only being a little humorous here. So many times we watch as couples, often those close to us, go through tough times in their lives and we say nothing - we do nothing - we just sit by afraid to get involved. True if the only reason a person wants to get involved is because they are a busy-body, than that is one thing. But those of us who love and care for these people owe it to the ones they care about to speak your mind.<P>My wife left me a year ago - now we are divorced. From everything I heard from her family, they felt it was best if they just "stay out of it". I sometimes wish they got at least a little involved. Would it have risked hurting someone's feelings? Yes. But to save a marriage I think is much more important than some "hurt feelings".<P>If you love your brother and you think he is messing up - tell him. If you can't tell him, then write him. And reach out to his wife - she is going through one of the most difficult times in her life. Make sure that she knows that you are there for her. Listen I know it is your brother so I am not saying you take her side or his side, I am saying take the side of their marriage...<P>Sometimes it does indeed "take a village"...<P>God Bless you, your brother and his wife..<BR>Mike<P>------------------<BR>God always waits for the right time to do the right thing in the right way.