I moved out on my live in. The father of my 21/2 year old dautghter four months ago. I left because he was an alcholic drinking an average of 1 pint 4 times a week. He contimued to drink after I left until he got picked up for DUI 10 days later (Though he does no attend nor has he ever attended any kind of a group to help with the process of quitting) He has been reading a lot on personal growth and he has been making some changes and after 4 months of behaving like I was responsible for the breakup, he wrote a letter saying that the alchohol was his first love during the relationship and that he was sorry that he had not been there for us and had scared his daughter. Before reading this letter I had about a five percent desire to get back together and After reading this letter I have no desire to repair the relationship. I have no sexual desire and I have no emotional desire to remain with him. I have taken responsibility that I should have set better boundries and I have in the meantime learned to set good solid boundries. I also had a great need for a relationshi with a lot of conflict and a lot of need to mothe r both of which I no linger have. Should I try to make this relationship work for my daughters sake?

Dara,<p>Have you been to any support groups like al-anon or CoDA? You might also consider reading "CoDependent No More" by Melody Beatte if you haven't already, I've just started it and have learned alot about myself. I can't tell you what you should do, only you know what is best for you and your daughter... but I can tell you that your feelings will change over and over... one day you'll be sure that getting him out of your life is the best for you and your daughter, the next day you'll be worrying about your daughter's life... what's best in the long run, and there you'll go back and forth, then another day you'll think about yourself and your needs, but then might feel "selfish" putting your needs ahead of what you may feel is best for your daughter. It can drive you crazy! <p>Try the website www.alcoholismhelp.com . You'll see stories from spouses who left and who stayed. In the end, only you can decide what to do, but one of the first things to do is to take care of yourself.<p>