I am confused about if I should marry this guy I am dating. I want to get married, and I know I love him. The problem is when ever I read anything that talkes about what love is like, I wonder if I am truly "in love" with him. Carlos and I have been dating for five months. This hasn't been just casual dating, but spending at least two hours together up to all day long together. He seems perfect almost in every way for me. okay, to get down to the basic question--I don't know what love is (at least the crazy romantic love I hear about and storybooks talk about) so how do I know if I am there? The way I feel about him is just a calm assurance that we match well for eachother, go well together, I am attracted to him, he loves me--really it's just a logical thing I know in my head, not this heart throbbing, wild, uncontrollable love. <br> please give me some insight if you can. <br>jena

Jena - sounds to me like you have a wonderful start to a good relationship, compatibility. I don't think all successful relationships begin with that heart-pounding head-over-heels feeling. It can grow slowly. What I do read in your post is that you are confused and unsure. So...my advice would be to give it some more time. See what happens. You will know when it's right to plan on marriage, in your own mind and heart. It's worth it to wait. :-)

Jena, take it from someone who knows, you've only been together a short time which isn't necessarily a bad thing - BUT - make sure you discuss what marriage actually "MEANS" to you both before you take that step. Does it mean spending all your time together? Only going out with each other? Always having to check in? My new H and I have different views on this apparently and are now having serious problems. He didn't think things would change after we got married, change is inevitable....just make sure you're prepared.<p>Good luck. Compatibility is the best place to start a relationship.

jena, do you look forward to seeing him and talking to him, is he the first thing on your mind when you wakeup? would you love to stand on the highest mountain and scream to the world that you love this man? do you look forward to telling everyone that this man is your man? do you ever find yourself looking at other men and wondering how it would be? do you ever envy other woman because of the men they have? these are some questions you should ask yourself. i believe you should answer the first questions with a quick and emphatic yes. and the last two questions you should answer in the negative. obviously, i'm no expert, butg these questions may be helpful. i hope so.

jena, also, i suggest you wait for him to ask you to merry him. he should be prepared to ask you in front of the world to merry him. if he doesn't ask, please do not prompt him. if you don't care or can't wait any longer, find someone who does love you enough to stand before everyone to ask you to marry him.