My H used to have a more or less laissez-faire child rearing style. Of course he got annoyed at the kids' behavior sometimes, and didn't hesitate to scold them, but he never held it over them.<P>A few days ago our daughter misbehaved while she was with him. I don't know if he said much, if anything, to her at the time. Once a month he takes each child out individually to some activity and dinner, which has been very good for them, especially since he spends so little time with them otherwise. He emailed me to tell me that the next time he is supposed to take her out, he will only take her to dinner, at which time he will talk to her about her behavior. That's really going to make her want to go.<P>I have so many problems with this. He has done this before, to our son - not say a word at the time, and weeks or months later b**** at him about something he did. If you are going to punish/criticize a child, you have to do it as soon after the behavior as possible. <P>This is supposed to be their special time together, and once again he is acting like spending time with him is a privilege that can be revoked if he doesn't like her behavior. <P>She already feels abandoned by him. It is one thing to offer criticism when the child is confident that he or she is loved, and quite another when all the child gets in criticism. <P>He never was like this before. I doubt that he had any intention of "talking" to her until the OW told him he should. This is a child rearing style that is the complete antithesis of everything he has ever done.

Nellie:<P>I don't have any advice to offer, just sympathy. It's amazing what these OW can do once they sink their claws in, huh? Yes, I'm stereotyping OW, but I'm just talking about my OW and Nellie's OW. Your exH is going to totally lose his kids at the rate he's going. If he and OW don't work out, guess he'll be TOTALLY alone - a thought that really seems to scare alot of WS's I've talked to...

Living with Memories,<P>He's already lost the oldest two - they want nothing to do with him, would prefer that I never mention his name. One of them has not spoken to him in over two years, since the night he left. <P>The next two, including the child I referred to above, love him, but he has hurt them so much. He is terribly critical of our son, and actually told him that he doesn't pay much attention to him when he talks because he what he has to say isn't very interesting. <P>In the conversation during which our daughter said that he favored her younger sister, the younger sister said that she didn't know who he favored, because he didn't treat any of them very well.