If any of you remember me, I am the one who posted the topic, Sex, but no orgasm. I have never had an orgasm with a man before but have had them only by myself with masterbation. I had never had one with a vibrator or clitoral stimulation. I never told my husband but just faked it and I posted on this forum and many of you gave me advice and one of you even told me to be honest with my H and I did. Well we started out finally after we got a moment by ourselves. And we purchased a vibrator. The first night we tried it everything went wrong. The cd player which was playing sexy music kept skipping and then when my H touched me, we discovered that he hadnt washed the cayene pepper off his hands from the crayfish dinner he ate earlier. Needless to say he lit my fire, but not in the way you think....LOL! So that night we gave up and we decided that it would be another night. Well I kept playing with the vibrator and I discovered that I could have multiple orgasms with it if I stimulated my clitoris. I had never stimulated it hard enough or long enough. When I finally achieved orgasm with my H it was a very emotional and spiritual event. I thought I could never do this. With his understanding and willing to work with me I feel wonderful and not as cranky. If any of you women out there cant achieve orgasm. dont give up. concentrate on your clitoris and apply pressure and keep going with it. It was like a revelation to me. I feel like I am having sex for the first time. I know this isnt a sex forum, but thank you for letting me air my frustrations on the subject and for giving me such wonderful advice. I not only can have orgasms with a vibrator but also with my H's hand and orally with him. This is such a miracle to me. I wont be posting anymore posts like this, but just wanted to say thanks to all who gave advise and say God bless you all! There is hope and I am living proof.

i think the first time is probably the hardest to do. afterward you learn to relax and go with it and it becomes easier and easier. my w had been with several men before her 1st marriage, had two children and hadn't had an orgasm. i wasn't until after we had been married for several months that she started having them. now she has them routinly.

I just dont want women out there to give up like I had done. The way I was able to achieve orgasm was difficult and hard to explain to people. It never occured to me that I could do it any other way, and it was always alone. Perhaps it was supposed to be this way because it just makes it special that I discovered this with my husband. I will soon be 45 and I feel like I have just started to enjoy a sex life in a normal way.

Hi Hopefull2<p>Thanks for the update.<p>I especially liked the bit about the cayene pepper on your H's hands. ("really lit my fire") I literally laughed out loud. (Yes, I know it's not funny!)<p>I'm glad you're "enjoying yourself" and that your H is willing to work with you. I think that you've found a new toy. (and I DON'T mean the vibrator, if you know what I mean!)<p>Enjoy your new "game", that's how God intended it!<p>Val<br>(The Husband)

V...<br>Thanks for your post! I'm glad you got a charge out of the pepper incident...I know I did!!! ROFLOL!!! <br>but seriously after thinking I was abnormal or dysfunctional and after so long a time in my life, it just seems so much like a miracle to me. Sometimes what we need is right under us or in front of our noses so to speak and we dont know how to retrieve it. If I had never been honest with my H, I may have never discovered this joy that many take for granted. I will have to log in with a different name now since I am no longer hopeful2... <br>God bless you!!!

Gee, and to think the only way my wife can orgasm is to be with the OM !..

blues,<br>I'm sorry. I dont see how any woman can have an O without being in love with her husband. I'm sure that women can fake it as I use to, but it wasnt because I wasnt in love. If a person is not completely in love or "lust" with another person, I dont see how it can happen, for real, I mean. There's a saying, if you cant give love..you give alabies *not sure about that spelling*, or excuses. Rest assured it's not your fault, but rather your wife's lack of interrest or love for you.