Hi all,<BR>I'm new here. For lack of time I'm going to make a very long story very short but need some input.<BR>My husband and I separated for about a month and half - in that time he had an affair. He never told me until I asked if that was the reason he would not come home and he finally told me. The woman works with him. We have been together for 7 months again. The first three months were horrible with him treating me like nothing. After that when he stopped drinking and turned to God things have been really nice. <BR>Now he has asked for a transfer in the same company and has received it. He will be working very close to home but because we are in a suberb of a city wherever she lives will still be accessible if he wants it. But anyway he will only be leaving his current position in the middle of July. In the mean time he is still working in the same building as this women. He will not tell how closely he worked with her, or on what floor she works, and how often he still sees her. (Says he only greets her if he walks past her). The building is really huge, I just don't understand why he won't tell me. Is he hiding something from me still? I have got no idea what she looks like, her name or anything all I need to know is how close is she in contact with my husband. Oh by the way she is also married, that much I do know.<BR>There are days when I get so down, I am still on anti depressants, and just wish I could feel fine again. Surely 7 months is long enough to get over it?? I fought really hard for this marriage and in the process felt like I went through hell, and now that our marriage is fine, why aren't I?<BR>PS: We have now been married 7 years - no kids. And we live in South Africa so jobs are not easy to come by...<P>

Welcome to Marriage Builders! <P>I'd like to share two links with you. Please click on them and go through them. <P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi10_tour.html" TARGET=_blank>Tour of Marriage Builders</A><P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome</A><P>Seven months is not "enough time" to "get over it" since you may never "get over it". Your H is not helping by not being totally honest about how often he sees her, etc. <P>You cannot change him, but you can change how you react to him. Look into Plan A here--> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>What Are Plan A and Plan B</A> and begin to impliment it NOW!! It is to be used while the wayward spouse (WS) is in the affair, and will be of great benefit to YOU.<P>Best wishes as you begin this journey... <BR><P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>And we know. We who have seen. ~Pellegrino