Well, hi there everyone.<P>I know I haven't been around much, I'm sorry for that. I did respond to Dana about a week ago, and that was it for the week. I find I need about an extra 10 hours per day to do everything I need to do.<P>I think of you all so often, and wonder how everyone is going.<P>My life is wonderful at the moment. I've found the peace I've been looking for for so long. And I did it by myself, by accepting everything that has happened and trying to make the best of it all.<P>My relationship with my girls is great, my family is just the best, and my relationship with ex- well, it's ok.<BR>All because I accepted everything that has come my way.<BR>An example of this acceptance is this. It was youngest d's bday on Thursday and we all went out for dinner. Just the four of us, him, me and the two girls. He picked us up, and as we were driving out my driveway, he said "where to now Jules, oh sorry, Jo" He actually called me by her name, but it was ok. I didn't feel hurt, I didn't get angry, I didn't cry. It just happened. YYAAAAYYYYYYYY..........<P>That one thing told me a lot about how far I have come. If he had done that even 6 months ago, what a different story it would have been. It just goes to show how far he has pushed me away, and how far I have moved on.<P>Also, our little airline has been taken over by Qantas. That has taken up a lot of my time, as I've been pulled off line (no flying duties) to do some training and manuals etc. I must admit that's another reason I stayed away from here. You guys are all my friends and I wanted to share with someone what was happening, but it was not even approved by the appropriate bodies over here so I couldn't say a word. At one stage we didn't even know if we had jobs. Anyway, it was all signed sealed and delivered yesterday. Hope we get their travel benefits.<P>And that leads me onto VA Beach. I don't know if my holidays are still approved, with everything that has been going on. I must admit holidays have been the last thing on my mind. If there is any way that I can get there, I will, but I just don't know at the moment.<P>I still don't have anyone special in my life, but that's ok. I'm happy being by myself for a while, and am still learning about me and about what I would like next time around. Or what I THINK I would like next time around!! I know that I'll be different - hopefully that equates to better!!!<P>It feels really strange typing all this, like you guys will have no interest and "care factor - zero!!"<P>But it feels good doing it anyway.<P>I know I keep saying that I need to catch up with everyone, but I don't even have the time to switch the machine on, let alone read. Please don't take that to be that I'm not interested - I am. Like I said, I think about you all so often and hope that things are getting better for each and every one of you (us)<P>Anyway, that's my little update for now. Not much, but so much. Does that make sense?<P>hugs to you all<P>Jo

It makes wonderful sense, and you sound GREAT!!!!<P> <P>(((((Jo)))))

Just an addendum here........<P>I think I need to change my name too.........<BR>How old fashioned is Bonnet.??? cringe cringe cringe.<P><BR>I've started re-vamping me - I've got copper foils in my hair which is a bit radical on a blonde, but people say it looks great. And I like it.... When I first had it done it looked like my kids had colored my hair in with their textas!!!<BR>I've lost a bit more weight, not that I needed to do that, but I do NEED to do some exercise. In a big way...I've got the '2 baby belly' (jellybelly) !!! and the old leggies could do with some toning up. I'll have to think about that one a bit more!! Although Nick could always get me interested in bike riding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! teehee<P>And my attitude and my general happiness - well - <P>If I was any better (happier) I'd be twins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<P>Just thought I'd share that too, while I'm spilling about everything!!!!!!<P>Have a great weekend<P>Jo

I had another name picked out... wanna know what it was?...<P>Fair Unknown<P>I love that... but it didn't quite fit me... maybe it fits you???<P>**and don't feel bad if it doesn't, just throwing it out on a lovely Friday evening**

Nyneve,<P>thanks for the suggestion, I don't think it's me either.<P>Makes me think of a fair maiden - you know - like Cinderella or something. As much as I would like to be the damsel in distress, I am too strong for that. I like to take control of my own situation, and deal with it. I don't like handing my problems/situations on a plate for someone else to deal with.<P>That's not to say that I don't accept help or advice. Or love having someone dealing with them with me.<BR>My god, how did all this come from two words???????/<P>have a great Friday night, I have to go grocery shopping for baby's birthday party tomorrow. 7, 3 year olds in my house, plus 2, 11month olds........ Can't wait.<P>I'll try and check back on tonight - tomorrow morning for you guys.<P>hugs<P>Jo

Hi Jo,<P>Sounds like you are doing just fine. I'm riding 150 this weekend, so I'm not sure how interested I could get you in spending 6 straight hours on a bike 2 days straight, but spinning has done wonders for my muscle tone & endurance.<P>I'm in the middle of an OP and have my son for the week of the VA Beach MB festival, so it's going to be tough for me to come down & give any voleyball lessons , but I'm trying to find a way to at least meet all the gang.<P>Take care...<P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain <BR>and makes the sun come out again

Hi Nick,<P>thanks for that.<P>6 hours straight for 2 days, watching your little tooshie on that bike - I'd like to see that!!!!!!!!<P>(that's an ad campaign over here - "I'd like to see that"!!)<P>I'm still trying to make VA Beach work, however with the merge betw. us and Qantas, I still don't know what's happening with my holidays. I'm off to Syd on Tues and then Melb on Thurs/Fri. Should know more by then.<P>I so want to meet everyone, and have some FUN with people who understand. sigh sigh, now I'm getting maudlin!!<P>Anyway, if there's any possible way I can make it work I will.<P>take care of you<P>Jo<P>

((((((((((((((((((((JO)))))))))))))))))))))))<P>I'm glad you are finding peace. Doesn't it make you feel so much more confident and able to deal with anything. We all have our bad days, or months in my case, I even think a few years ago I had a whole YEAR bad!<P>But look where we are and how we got here. We did it!<P>I'd be furious if ex called me by OW name. Ick. But you have handled it great.<P>I wonder what she thinks of you guys all going out for the BDAY?<P>I haven't been on this week much either. I'm working hard in a church class and in counseling with the kids. (I found out I have to talk to my daughter about sex this week YUCK!) I have been working on recovery from betrayal, TOGETHER, and we are doing great with it. He always treated me wonderful before that withdrawal, which I now know why. We both feel it happened at a time when he needed closure, and now I can feel like "its over" with them too. I'm not thrilled it happened, but by the time I found out, it was over, so I can deal with it. Its those ongoing things I'm NOT into.<P>So with all that, its soccer season and I run 4 nights a week with the kids! I feel badly that I am not able to reply to everyone this week either. <P>I am glad your doing well, BIG HUGS! Dana

Hi Dana,<P>a week late yet again - sorry about that. It;s been so hectic here. I got back from Melbourne last night, and I go again tonight!!!!!!! <BR>Luckily its his weekend with the girls so I don't have to stress about them being out of their routine too much.<P>I'm so glad you're working on the recovery together. That is so important isn't it? Well done.<P>It must be still so painful for you, but if you can manage to put it behind you, and look to the future, what a future you two will have. I know it's so easy for me to sit here and say that, not being in the situation, but like you said to me, look how far we have come and what we have achieved.<P>I'm so proud of us!!!!!!!!!!!<P>have to race (my whole life is a race at the moment, I feel like I'm one of those mice on the wheel!!)<P>have a great weekend and big big hugs for you<P>Jo<P>