Well it has been 10 days since I received my D papers from WH. I was so shocked when I read them. They were very general in nature not really asking for anything but joint custody of the two teenage boys and for me to produce all the tax papers, property listings, inventories, etc, since he really doesn't have a clue what we have in money or stuff. But the thing that struck me the most is that there was so much misinformation in the papers. Like, he put down the wrong date that he moved out, he had that our older son would be starting college in the fall, but he will be a Senior, and he said that he had resided with the children for the past 60 days. I laughed when I realized that he isn't able to tell the truth even to a lawyer. He has had hardly any contact with me only 2 times in 3 months and not much more with the kids. When he does see them, about once every 10 days, it is for short periods of time and rushes them away. Today at church, someone had told a good friend of ours that they had seen WH at a bar with a girl. I assume the OW (which he says he isn't seeing since she moved away!) So YS heard that and called his dad and confonted him as it was the day that he rushed the kids home from their time with him. Needless to say, WH was extremely mad and said who said that " I am gonna Beat their A*$! I couldn't believe that was my H talking to my son like that, he never used to be violent or cuss or drink in bars. Boy, he is really in sad shape. He told YS he was gonna call and leave me a nasty message about not telling the kids things like that. But by the fact that he was so angry, tells me that he was GUILTY. He seems to forget that we are still married and especially with the custody in question, he would have enough sense to watch what he does. Oh, well, is this normal for a filed WH?<P>Also, I have already responded to his papers and my lawyer says there is no way he can get any custody with the fact that he abandonded us and has such little contact and he lives with a 26 guy in his apt and sleeps on sofa. This is a sad situation after 19 years of being married to seeing how he is living.<P>Sometimes, I feel bad for him and can't imagine how he can live like that with nothing. And after the D is final he really won't have much money as he doesn't make much anyway. When I get to feeling bad for him, all my friends say, "No, you don't give him anything" He made his choice and let him live with it. What do you guys think? SEF

It does sound very sad. I could only offer that right after I found out about my husband cheating on me that I felt like my brain just shut down. Stress and depression blows away your short term memory, and I couldn't remember passwords, the date, what I needed from the store, things due for work, etc. So I bet he is pretty depressed and messed up which contributes to his lack of knowledge about what is going on. But he probably wasn't a good listener to begin with. Perhaps he relied on you to keep track of all the paperwork and details, and now that you aren't there he has no idea where to start. It happened in my situation.<P>Also, I was the 2nd wife to my husband and he had kids. It is very awkward seeing kids when you have no where to take them, especially after you are used to just dealing with them in a home environment. What do you do, take them to dinner and a movie? What if you are broke, then what do you do? He probably is embarassed if he doesn't have any money to take them anywhere and hasn't even got a place to live. <P>Hang in there. You at least have the same house and kids around you which is helping you stay sane!<P><BR>