Sometimes I think that I let the devil take control of my emotions and actions when I got involved in this "soul-stealing" affair. It will always be in the back of my mind to haunt me- I know my withdrawal is very ripe in it's stages, but from what I read about Maya, rjr, Martin's etc. posts, I have a bad feeling that I'm gonna have a hard time dealing with unwanted/unwelcomed thoughts of the OM. At times, I wonder was this OM (MR. Charming) the devil in disguise who God sent down to test me. Well, whatever the purpose of this affair, I failed, in more ways than one. I'm being very hard on myself and expect more of myself, but going through this period is pure HELL (and maybe that's where I'll end up?!?) But, I reeeaallly want to change that destination, if possible. I forgot where I was going with this post...Oh, I remember...<p>I wonder how the Other person involved in these ugly affairs goes on with their live, Do they suffer the same as the Betrayer (I kinda doubt it, but I wish they did). They seem to get off scott-free (maybe they don't have a conscience or maybe they really are the devil in disguise?)

Vanessa--<p>As a woman of God such as I am, I must tell you that I too fell for another man(post The Trophy Wife under Emotional Needs). My husband and I were and still are going through some serious problems and the OM was my outlet. My h was not giving me what I needed and he did. So, like the weak soldier that I am...I fell. <p>The only consolation that I can give you is this. You can stop thinking about the OM, it just takes time. I still think of the OM and sometimes I still see him (not on a sexual front but we are still very good friends). I have not told my h about the affair yet. And things are slowly beginning to come together. He finally had sex with me after 6 months 2 weeks ago. Now, before I get blasted I do not approve of my affair or anyone else having an affair. Regardless of what our husbands have done to us, we made the choice to lie down. Yes, Vanessa our h do share some of the blame for pushing us away from them but the ultimate choice was up to us. We FELL.....HARD! And yes, of course I believe that God allows Satan to attack us on certain fronts to (1) See if we have the strength to stand on His Word and His Promises. (2) To keep us humble (You know us Saints tend to be "Holier than thou"...NOT!<p>The fact that we fell does not condemn us to Hell, unless we continue to sin. Once you get down on your face and really repent from the heart for your sins and ask God to forgive you He will. But here's the kicker, we often forget to ask Him for the strength to resist temptation. Ask for the strength because I tell you, my OM came back looking ultra good and talking smooth as silk and yes I fell again but I am striving to do better. Many people believe that once you are saved from the lake of fire things get easy. Not so...things get harder. There is something that we all need to be delivered from. And believe me, it does not happen overnight. Deliverance is a daily process a daily struggle. What we have to do is keep praying and fasting and believing that He will bring us out victorious over Satan.<p>Stand strong, stop beating yourself up. God has that part under control. In the meantime, try harder for your marriage to work. Go the extra mile for your husband. If he's like mine, he makes it harder for you when you try but don't give up. I've learned that if it wasn't such hard work, it wouldn't be worth keeping. God never said that our married lives would be easy and he never said that we would not be tempted by others. But He did say that we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. (Ephesians 6:12)<p>Take your focus off of the OM and put it on the spirit that is trying to defeat you. Put on your armour! And stand up to the Devil himself and declare war! Let Satan know that your marriage will work and there is nothing that he can do to change that! Pray for me as I will for you. <br>

Princess,<p>Thanks sooooooo much for your encouraging words of wisdom. I am still very scared for what lies ahead of me, but I am gonna take one day at a time. People like yourself really give me the hope and strength to move on and work harder. I truly believe God sent us all here to comfort one another and I definitely feel that he is working through you to reach others like myself. I feel very fortunate to have you all as teachers, consolers, and most of all reminders that we are all human and are bound to fall short and make mistakes. But, we can only learn and grow into stronger people as we go through these difficult struggles. <br> <br>I appreciate your quote...<p>---------------------------------------------<br>We often forget to ask for the strength to resist temptation<br>---------------------------------------------<br>That is so true. I will from now on, ask for the this strength daily- and I think this will help keep me posted. I'm feeling very hopeful today, but I know not everyday will feel this good. <br> <br>One more question, if you don't mind me asking...How do you and OM stay friends?<br>I really would like the same for me and OM since he is a great person, and I think God put him in my life for a reason, I just haven't figured out why yet and I really don't want to lose him. Thanks again for your time and direction. Praying for you too! V7

princess, vanessa, you two are flirting with disaster so long as you remain in anykind of contact with the om. you can read it all over this board. men and women can not be friends for long and if they are they are always at a high risk of an affair. be careful. do you suppose you're kidding yourself? are you over the om mostly but thinking way back in your heart that you just might need to go back again?

V7,<br>I can only speak from experience, but no, the om does not usually beat himself up as you would and he is usually guilt free. There are so many men looking for a vulnerable woman who is unhappy with her marriage. The same can be said for women looking for married men who are unhappy with theirs. If you love your husband, then do not continue a friendship with this man. Why would you want to tempt yourself in that way. Dont fool yourself in thinking that the Lord put this om in your life for a reason. The Lord does not set out to trick or test His children, dont blame the Lord on your weakness. but as princess said the Lord does allow us at times to be tested, but it looks like you have already failed the test. Unless you know that the om loves you unselfishly, with all his heart and you feel the same about him, then get on with repairing your marriage.<br>Princess, I cant believe you have never told your H about your indiscretion, and you are still seeing him. Honesty is a cardinal rule for marriages. "the truth shall set you free".