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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 24
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 24 |
I posted over in the Why Women leave men forum under Any Suggestions. If everyone would please read and respond to it I would really appreciate it. I am starting to feel very hopeless and I can use some help. Thanks Chase
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Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 1,514
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Member
Joined: Dec 1999
Posts: 1,514 |
You need to be posting over here. The "Why Women Leave Men" board is a slow backwater. <P>I don't think that protecting yourself legally and financially is inconsistent with the goal of regaining your marriage. Get to a lawyer, find out what will be the best course of action, assuming that you will do nothing without fair warning to your STBXW. You're both doing things without telling the other beforehand. That doesn't help trust. But allowing her to rock along in the house without being put to choices ... allows you to continue to spiral down financially, making you less attractive. If you do what you gotta do, you'll minimize the economic damage--even if she doesn't like what you're doing (and if you announce your plans ahead of time and do only what you see as fair, then at the very least she won't continue losing respect for you). There may even come a point in your process that she will holler Uncle and want to return to the counseling process. <P>What has happened to you ain't pretty. But at this point vain hope and being a doormat will not serve you well. You must respond effectively to your STBXW's machinations. <P>There is also a book over on amazon.com that you will find if you enter the words "controlled separation". It might be a good idea to take a look at it.
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 600
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 600 |
Chase,<P><BR>Ditto on Sisyphus' remarks. Couldn't agree more. I left you a message on the "Why Women Leave" thread.<P>Prayers and stuff,<P>Bumper
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 525
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Member
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 525 |
I see where you read my reply to cantletgo...<P>Nothing more to add.<P>Use us here to vent, be frustrated and ask question.<P>And you know what. If you two can't keep the house your W needs to see that and accept it as a consequence of her actions. No use tryin got hold onto it if it is going to bankrupt you. Maybe you need to be honest and direct with her and explain the situation?<P>
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 24
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 24 |
Thanks for all of your replies. It has helped. I am tired of given in and being a doormat all of the time. I deserve respect. Thanks Chase.
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