This weekend is our 12th and final anniv. Wife filed and our D will be final on July 10. I wanted to write her a letter. So here it is. Please give me some feedback. I'm thinking of taking out the second quote for the book "The Road Less Traveled". Thanks!!!!!<P><BR>My Dearest Lisa,<P>Though I never thought we would spend our anniversary going through divorce proceedings, here we are. The road that we have traveled on in our journey through time hasn’t been without its ups and downs. Though, at times, it has been rough the rewards we received along the way have more than made it a road worth traveling. I want to thank you for the wonderful years that have given to us. As I reflect back on our lives together my heart is filled with joy. There are so many good memories that I will cherish for as long as I walk on this earth. We grew up together and you were my first true love. We went out into the world and made a beautiful family. I can’t put into words how elated I feel pondering back in time at days gone by. My cup runneth over. Garth Brooks summed up the past twelve years better than I ever could.<P>THE DANCE<BR>Looking back on the memory of<BR>The dance we shared beneath the stars above<BR>For a moment all the world was right<BR>How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye<P>And now I'm glad I didn't know<BR>The way it all would end the way it all would go<BR>Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain<BR>But I'd of had to miss the dance<P>Holding you I held everything<BR>For a moment wasn't I a king<BR>But if I'd only known how the king would fall<BR>Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all<P>I want to thank you for the “dance” and who knows maybe someday you’ll honor me again and take me back onto the floor for another. I am departing from our relationship with many regrets and I will miss so many things about you but overall I am leaveing our relationship with many happy thoughts. I regret that only knew how to love my way and was unable to love you the way that you needed to be loved. I regret that we were unable to communicate our needs until it was too late. I will miss kissing you on the back of the neck and watching your whole body quiver. The biggest thing that I will miss is that look of youth that you carry in your eyes.<P>Lisa, I truly hope that you are able to find the happiness that you so desperately seek. You deserve that, but more importantly, the girls deserve that. I also hope that one day you will have the ability to show love and accept love. It is a wonderful thing. Love in your heart for someone is so much greater than any physical lust that we interpret as love. <P>Lisa, I sure never thought our lives would end up like this. No matter what happens to us in the future I want to thank you. Thank you for three wonderful children. Thank you for being my wife, friend, and lover. Thank you for the many wonderful memories that I will cherish as long as I live. Thank you.<P>The years ahead will heal these wounds but I will never forget this day, the day of our wedding, the day that we began our journey together before the Lord. Thank you so much for all that you have given and accepted. In closing I would like to leave you with some quotes from the book “The Road Less Traveled”. These quotes are not meant to prove anything, just to show you another perspective.<P>"Genuine love is volitional rather than emotional. The person who truly loves does so because of a decision to love. This person has made a commitment to be loving whether or not the loving feeling is present. If it is, so much the better; but if it isn't, the commitment to love, the will to love, still stands and is still exercised…. My feelings of love may be unbounded, but my capacity to be loving is limited. I therefore must choose the person on whom to focus my capacity to love, toward whom to direct my will to love. True love is not a feeling by which we are overwhelmed. It is a committed, thoughtful decision."<P>"Some of us will go to quite extraordinary lengths to avoid our problems and the suffering they cause, proceeding far a field from all that is clearly good and sensible in order to try to find an easy way out, building the most elaborate fantasies in which to live, sometimes to the total exclusion of reality….” <P>I hope that you have a wonderful day and I will pray that you have a wonderful life. HAPPY ANNIVERSERY!!!!<P>With all my Love,<P><BR>Billy<P><BR>Well what do you Think??????<P><BR>------------------<BR>-There are none so blind as those who refuse to see!-<BR>-Stand up and do the right thing, even if your standing alone.-<p>[This message has been edited by LostHusband (edited May 23, 2001).]

Dear LostHusband,<P>It's a really beautiful letter. My first response is....do you really feel this way? Do you really only see the good out of the marriage...the beauty of the dance? If so, that's great. If not, it may come across as "insincere" to her if she thinks you feel otherwise.<P>I am ITALICISING the parts I think you should leave out. This is just my opinion, and you asked:<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by LostHusband:<BR><B><BR>My Dearest Lisa,<P>Though I never thought we would spend our anniversary going through divorce proceedings, here we are. The road that we have traveled on in our journey through time hasn’t without its ups and downs. Though, at times ,it has been rough the rewards we received along the way have more than made it a road worth traveling. I want to thank you for the wonderful years that have given to us. As I reflect back on our lives together my heart is filled with joy. There are so many good memories that I will cherish for as long as I walk on this earth. We grew up together and you were my first true love. We went out into the world and made a beautiful family. I can’t put into words how elated I feel pondering back in time at days gone by. My cup runneth over. Garth Brooks summed up the past twelve years better than I ever could.<P>THE DANCE<BR>Looking back on the memory of<BR>The dance we shared beneath the stars above<BR>For a moment all the world was right<BR>How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye<P>And now I'm glad I didn't know<BR>The way it all would end the way it all would go<BR>Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain<BR>But I'd of had to miss the dance<P>Holding you I held everything<BR>For a moment wasn't I a king<BR>But if I'd only known how the king would fall<BR>Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all<P>I want to thank you for the “dance” and who knows maybe someday you’ll honor me again and take me back onto the floor for another. I am departing from our relationship with many regrets and I will miss so many things about you but overall I am leaveing our relationship with many happy thoughts. I regret that only knew how to love my way and was unable to love you the way that you needed to be loved. I regret that we were unable to communicate our needs until it was too late. I will miss kissing you on the back of the neck and watching your whole body quiver. The biggest thing that I will miss is that look of youth that you carry in your eyes.<P>Lisa, I truly hope that you are able to find the happiness that you so desperately seek. You deserve that, but more importantly, the girls deserve that. <I>I also hope that one day you will have the ability to show love and accept love. It is a wonderful thing. Love in your heart for someone is so much greater than any physical lust that we interpret as love. </I><P>Lisa, I sure never thought our lives would end up like this. No matter what happens to us in the future I want to thank you. Thank you for three wonderful children. Thank you for being my wife, friend, and lover. Thank you for the many wonderful memories that I will cherish as long as I live. Thank you.<P>The years ahead will heal these wounds but I will never forget this day, the day of our wedding, the day that we began our journey together before the Lord. Thank you so much for all that you have given and accepted. <I>In closing I would like to leave you with some quotes from the book “The Road Less Traveled”. These quotes are not meant to prove anything, just to show you another perspective.<P>"Genuine love is volitional rather than emotional. The person who truly loves does so because of a decision to love. This person has made a commitment to be loving whether or not the loving feeling is present. If it is, so much the better; but if it isn't, the commitment to love, the will to love, still stands and is still exercised…. My feelings of love may be unbounded, but my capacity to be loving is limited. I therefore must choose the person on whom to focus my capacity to love, toward whom to direct my will to love. True love is not a feeling by which we are overwhelmed. It is a committed, thoughtful decision."<P>"Some of us will go to quite extraordinary lengths to avoid our problems and the suffering they cause, proceeding far a field from all that is clearly good and sensible in order to try to find an easy way out, building the most elaborate fantasies in which to live, sometimes to the total exclusion of reality….” <BR></I><BR>I hope that you have a wonderful day and I will pray that you have a wonderful life. HAPPY ANNIVERSERY!!!!<P>With all my Love,<P><BR>Billy<P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Again, this is just my opinion....I think the parts I suggested to be taken out, sound too much like "preaching." If you really just want to thank her, I don't think it's a good idea to try to "correct" her at the same time...it will nullify the whole letter.<P>Good luck and keep those beautiful thoughts and memories in your heart forever.<P>Aloha,<BR>Mrs.O<P>

Mrs.O,<P>Sure I have some memories of bad times but they are few and far between. Maybe I'm only choosing to see what I want, I don't know. My wife/stbxw says the last 12 years have been hell. <P>Thank you so much for your opinion. I'm still debating on those final quotes. I don't want to sound preachy but I would really like her to see those. Maybe I could sneek them in at a later time.<P>Again, Thanks<P>Bill <P>------------------<BR>-There are none so blind as those who refuse to see!-<BR>-Stand up and do the right thing, even if your standing alone.-

Awsome Letter - I agree with Mrs. O - don't preach at the same time... That's really an awsome letter!!! Wish I were getting it. <P>Blessings.

I like your letter but the last two quotes might be considered a disrespectful judgement because it might be a way of you trying to get her to agree with your opinion.<P>Also, it kind of ends it differently than it started. It starts off very loving and sweet, but then might be kind of like the main reason you wrote it was to give her those two quotes. <P>Just my opinion, I write a lot and over analyze stuff to death, but I might not like the last quotes if I were the one seekind divorce. <P>By the way, I LOVE "the dance". Its a great song!<P>Good luck, Dana

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by LostHusband:<BR><B>This weekend is our 12th and final anniv. Wife filed and our D will be final on July 10. I wanted to write her a letter. So here it is. Please give me some feedback. I'm thinking of taking out the second quote for the book "The Road Less Traveled". Thanks!!!!!<P><BR>My Dearest Lisa,<P>Though I never thought we would spend our anniversary going through divorce proceedings, here we are. The road that we have traveled on in our journey through time hasn’t been without its ups and downs. Though, at times, it has been rough the rewards we received along the way have more than made it a road worth traveling. I want to thank you for the wonderful years that have given to us. As I reflect back on our lives together my heart is filled with joy. There are so many good memories that I will cherish for as long as I walk on this earth. We grew up together and you were my first true love. We went out into the world and made a beautiful family. I can’t put into words how elated I feel pondering back in time at days gone by. My cup runneth over. Garth Brooks summed up the past twelve years better than I ever could.<P>THE DANCE<BR>Looking back on the memory of<BR>The dance we shared beneath the stars above<BR>For a moment all the world was right<BR>How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye<P>And now I'm glad I didn't know<BR>The way it all would end the way it all would go<BR>Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain<BR>But I'd of had to miss the dance<P>Holding you I held everything<BR>For a moment wasn't I a king<BR>But if I'd only known how the king would fall<BR>Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all<P>I want to thank you for the “dance” and who knows maybe someday you’ll honor me again and take me back onto the floor for another. I am departing from our relationship with many regrets and I will miss so many things about you but overall I am leaveing our relationship with many happy thoughts. I regret that only knew how to love my way and was unable to love you the way that you needed to be loved. I regret that we were unable to communicate our needs until it was too late. I will miss kissing you on the back of the neck and watching your whole body quiver. The biggest thing that I will miss is that look of youth that you carry in your eyes.<P>Lisa, I truly hope that you are able to find the happiness that you so desperately seek. You deserve that, but more importantly, the girls deserve that. I also hope that one day you will have the ability to show love and accept love. It is a wonderful thing. Love in your heart for someone is so much greater than any physical lust that we interpret as love. <P>Lisa, I sure never thought our lives would end up like this. No matter what happens to us in the future I want to thank you. Thank you for three wonderful children. Thank you for being my wife, friend, and lover. Thank you for the many wonderful memories that I will cherish as long as I live. Thank you.<P>The years ahead will heal these wounds but I will never forget this day, the day of our wedding, the day that we began our journey together before the Lord. Thank you so much for all that you have given and accepted. In closing I would like to leave you with some quotes from the book “The Road Less Traveled”. These quotes are not meant to prove anything, just to show you another perspective.<P>"Genuine love is volitional rather than emotional. The person who truly loves does so because of a decision to love. This person has made a commitment to be loving whether or not the loving feeling is present. If it is, so much the better; but if it isn't, the commitment to love, the will to love, still stands and is still exercised…. My feelings of love may be unbounded, but my capacity to be loving is limited. I therefore must choose the person on whom to focus my capacity to love, toward whom to direct my will to love. True love is not a feeling by which we are overwhelmed. It is a committed, thoughtful decision."<P>"Some of us will go to quite extraordinary lengths to avoid our problems and the suffering they cause, proceeding far a field from all that is clearly good and sensible in order to try to find an easy way out, building the most elaborate fantasies in which to live, sometimes to the total exclusion of reality….” <P>I hope that you have a wonderful day and I will pray that you have a wonderful life. HAPPY ANNIVERSERY!!!!<P>With all my Love,<P><BR>Billy<P><BR>Well what do you Think??????<P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by LostHusband:<BR><B>This weekend is our 12th and final anniv. Wife filed and our D will be final on July 10. I wanted to write her a letter. So here it is. Please give me some feedback. I'm thinking of taking out the second quote for the book "The Road Less Traveled". Thanks!!!!!<P><BR>My Dearest Lisa,<P>Though I never thought we would spend our anniversary going through divorce proceedings, here we are. The road that we have traveled on in our journey through time hasn’t been without its ups and downs. Though, at times, it has been rough the rewards we received along the way have more than made it a road worth traveling. I want to thank you for the wonderful years that have given to us. As I reflect back on our lives together my heart is filled with joy. There are so many good memories that I will cherish for as long as I walk on this earth. We grew up together and you were my first true love. We went out into the world and made a beautiful family. I can’t put into words how elated I feel pondering back in time at days gone by. My cup runneth over. Garth Brooks summed up the past twelve years better than I ever could.<P>THE DANCE<BR>Looking back on the memory of<BR>The dance we shared beneath the stars above<BR>For a moment all the world was right<BR>How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye<P>And now I'm glad I didn't know<BR>The way it all would end the way it all would go<BR>Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain<BR>But I'd of had to miss the dance<P>Holding you I held everything<BR>For a moment wasn't I a king<BR>But if I'd only known how the king would fall<BR>Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all<P>I want to thank you for the “dance” and who knows maybe someday you’ll honor me again and take me back onto the floor for another. I am departing from our relationship with many regrets and I will miss so many things about you but overall I am leaveing our relationship with many happy thoughts. I regret that only knew how to love my way and was unable to love you the way that you needed to be loved. I regret that we were unable to communicate our needs until it was too late. I will miss kissing you on the back of the neck and watching your whole body quiver. The biggest thing that I will miss is that look of youth that you carry in your eyes.<P>Lisa, I truly hope that you are able to find the happiness that you so desperately seek. You deserve that, but more importantly, the girls deserve that. I also hope that one day you will have the ability to show love and accept love. It is a wonderful thing. Love in your heart for someone is so much greater than any physical lust that we interpret as love. <P>Lisa, I sure never thought our lives would end up like this. No matter what happens to us in the future I want to thank you. Thank you for three wonderful children. Thank you for being my wife, friend, and lover. Thank you for the many wonderful memories that I will cherish as long as I live. Thank you.<P>The years ahead will heal these wounds but I will never forget this day, the day of our wedding, the day that we began our journey together before the Lord. Thank you so much for all that you have given and accepted. In closing I would like to leave you with some quotes from the book “The Road Less Traveled”. These quotes are not meant to prove anything, just to show you another perspective.<P>"Genuine love is volitional rather than emotional. The person who truly loves does so because of a decision to love. This person has made a commitment to be loving whether or not the loving feeling is present. If it is, so much the better; but if it isn't, the commitment to love, the will to love, still stands and is still exercised…. My feelings of love may be unbounded, but my capacity to be loving is limited. I therefore must choose the person on whom to focus my capacity to love, toward whom to direct my will to love. True love is not a feeling by which we are overwhelmed. It is a committed, thoughtful decision."<P>"Some of us will go to quite extraordinary lengths to avoid our problems and the suffering they cause, proceeding far a field from all that is clearly good and sensible in order to try to find an easy way out, building the most elaborate fantasies in which to live, sometimes to the total exclusion of reality….” <P>I hope that you have a wonderful day and I will pray that you have a wonderful life. HAPPY ANNIVERSERY!!!!<P>With all my Love,<P><BR>Billy<P><BR>Well what do you Think??????<P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>I feel the letter is very heart felt. MY experience has been to write a letter and then discard it because you can not change other's people perception it is only that person's reality. In the past letter's I've sent only make me feel better it does not change anything for the other person.Best of luck in your future.<P>Best Regards<P>c<BR>

Thanks to all. I am going to take the Mrs. O's and others advise. I will take the last two quotes out.<P>Again thanks,<P>Love, Bill

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by clc58:<BR>I feel the letter is very heart felt. MY experience has been to write a letter and then discard it because you can not change other's people perception it is only that person's reality. In the past letter's I've sent only make me feel better it does not change anything for the other person.Best of luck in your future.<P>Best Regards<P>c[/B]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>But if only one sentence gets through to her heart won't the letter be worth it. I've accepted the fact that I'm getting divorced but I refuse to be "not be me" through the ordeal. I am sure that she is expecting atleast a card and she will get one.<P>Bill<P>

Still digesting. I did catch one spelling error. Somewhere you have 'leaving' mispelled.

OK Guys I have to print this letter up by 5:00pm tomorrow, any more suggestions?<P>Thanks, Bill<P>------------------<BR>-There are none so blind as those who refuse to see!-<BR>-Stand up and do the right thing, even if your standing alone.-

Why don't you post another copy of the newly revised letter, if you have time.....just for a final look-see.<BR>