Thanks to all of those who have given me advice on this letter. For those of you who don't know, this weekend is my 12th anniv. My wife left and filed for divorce at the beginning of May. I am planning on giving her a card with this letter and some flowers on our anniv. This is the final copy and I'd like any comments:<P>My Dearest Lisa,<P>Though I never thought we would spend our anniversary going through divorce proceedings, here we are. The road that we have traveled on in our journey through time hasn’t been without its ups and downs. Though, at times, it has been rough the rewards we received along the way have more than made it a road worth traveling. I want to thank you for the wonderful years that have given to us. As I reflect back on our lives together my heart is filled with joy. There are so many good memories that I will cherish for as long as I walk on this earth. We grew up together and you were my first true love. We went out into the world and made a beautiful family. I can’t put into words how elated I feel pondering back in time at days gone by. My cup runneth over. Garth Brooks summed up the past twelve years better than I ever could.<P>THE DANCE<BR>Looking back on the memory of<BR>The dance we shared beneath the stars above<BR>For a moment all the world was right<BR>How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye<P>And now I'm glad I didn't know<BR>The way it all would end the way it all would go<BR>Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain<BR>But I'd of had to miss the dance<P>Holding you I held everything<BR>For a moment wasn't I a king<BR>But if I'd only known how the king would fall<BR>Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all<P>I want to thank you for the “dance” and who knows maybe someday you’ll honor me again. I am departing from our relationship with many regrets and I will miss so many things about you but overall I am leaving our relationship with many happy thoughts. I regret that only knew how to love my way and was unable to love you the way that you needed to be loved. I regret that we were unable to communicate our needs until it was too late. I will miss kissing you on the back of the neck and watching your whole body quiver. The biggest thing that I will miss is that look of youth that you carry in your eyes.<P>Lisa, I truly hope that you are able to find the happiness that you so desperately seek. You deserve that, but more importantly, the girls deserve that. I sure never thought our lives would end up like this. No matter what happens to us in the future I want to thank you. Thank you for three wonderful children. Thank you for being my wife, friend, and lover. Thank you for the many wonderful memories that I will cherish as long as I live. Thank you.<P>The years ahead will heal these wounds but I will never forget this day, the day of our wedding, the day that we began our journey together before the Lord. Thank you so much for all that you have given and accepted. I hope that you have a wonderful day and I will pray that you have a wonderful life. HAPPY ANNIVERSERY!!!!<P><BR>With all my Love,<P><BR>Billy<P><BR>So what do ya think??????<BR>

I don't usually post in D/D but I came in for a look this a.m. and found your post and your beautiful letter.<P>I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes reading all the beautiful things you said to your W. I hope they have the same effect on your W.<P>I'm truly sorry you're hurting. {{{{Hugs}}}}

Oh Billy, that was (boo-hoo! sniff!) beautiful! How, generous, kind, thoughtful, and forgiving you are. I'm giving my ex a set of knives for our anniversary, right in th--uh, never mind. <P>This one looks shorter than the original, which is good. Your message is clear, concise, and meaningful. Being a writer, I would only have a few minor grammatical/structural suggestions, but that's it. I wouldn't change the content at all. If you want me to do that, I'd be glad to email the final copy to you. But even as it is on its own, it's mahvelous. <P>Man, is Lisa sure about this divorce? Are you? If she's as in love with you as you seem to be with her, I'd go reeeeal slow, partner. Then again, I don't know your whole story. Good luck, sweetie. Let me know about the draft.<P>Love,<BR>Nell

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nell:<BR>This one looks shorter than the original, which is good. Your message is clear, concise, and meaningful. Being a writer, I would only have a few minor grammatical/structural suggestions, but that's it. <BR>Love,<BR>Nell[/B]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><BR>Nell, problem is she doesn't feel the same about me as I feel about her and her head is way in the FOG!!!!<P>Please do e-mail me with corrections. Thank you so much.<P>Love, Bill<P>bill@salinaplaningmill.com<BR>

Nell,<P>From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU. I printed it out and couldn't read it without crying. I guess reading it for the first time, not on a computer screen, reminded me how real my situation is. As you can probably tell, I meant every word that I stated in that letter. This divorce is not mine, I'm just along for the ride. Protecting myself along the way, of course.<P>As for our anniversary, we will only see each other transferring children. It is going to be rough.<P>Your kind thoughts are appreciated.<P>With your permission, I'd like to post your edited copy to the thread.<P>Again, Thank You<P>Love, Bill<P>------------------<BR>-There are none so blind as those who refuse to see!-<BR>-Stand up and do the right thing, even if your standing alone.-

Well here it is. With some help from the special people at MB, here is the final copy of the letter to my wife on our anniversary, our final anniversary if things go her way. Thank you all so much and I'm not giving this to her til Sunday so if there are any more suggestions, go for it.<P>My dearest Lisa, <P> I never thought we would spend our anniversary going through divorce proceedings, but here we are. The road we traveled in our journey through time hasn’t been without its ups and downs. Though at times it has been rough, the rewards we received along the way made our road worth the travel. I want to thank you for the wonderful years that were given us. As I reflect on our lives together, my heart fills with joy. There are so many good memories I will cherish for as long as I walk this earth. We grew up together, and you were my first true love. We went out into the world and made a beautiful family. I can’t put into words the elation I feel as I <BR>reminisce days gone by. My emotions overwhelm me. Garth Brooks summed up the past twelve years better than I ever could: <P>THE DANCE <BR>Looking back on the memory of <BR>The dance we shared beneath the stars above <BR>For a moment all the world was right <BR>How could I have known that you’d ever say goodbye <P>And now I’m glad I didn’t know <BR>The way it all would end the way it all would go <BR>Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain <BR>But I’d of had to miss the dance <P>Holding you I held everything <BR>For a moment wasn’t I a king <BR>But if I’d only known how the king would fall <BR>Hey who’s to say you know I might have changed it all <P> I want to thank you for the dance, and who knows, maybe someday you’ll honor me again. I am leaving our relationship regretfully, because I will miss so many things about you. Overall, I am leaving our relationship with many happy memories. I regret I loved you only my way, disregarding the love you needed from me. I regret we didn’t communicate our needs until it was too late, if indeed it is too late. I will miss kissing you on the back of the neck, watching your whole body quiver. The biggest thing I will miss, is that youthful look you shine from your eyes. <P> Lisa, I truly hope you are able to find the happiness you so intensely desire. You deserve that, but more importantly, our girls deserve that. I never thought our marriage would end like this. No matter what happens to us in the future, I would like to express my gratitude. Thank you for our three wonderful children. Thank you for being my wife, my best friend, and my lover. Thank you for the glorious memories I will cherish for as long as I live. <P> Although the years ahead will heal my wounds, I will never forget the day of our wedding, when we began our journey before the Lord. Thank you so much for all you have given and endured. I hope you have a wonderful day, and I will pray you have a wonderful life. My love for you is eternal. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!! <P><BR>With all my love, <P><BR>Billy <P><p>[This message has been edited by LostHusband (edited May 25, 2001).]

Beautiful, just beautiful!<P>Aloha,<BR>Mrs.O<P>(PS Be ready for absolutely no response from her....her guilt probably won't allow for one....)

I'm going to give it to her with some flowers when I pick up the girls. I not waiting around for any response nor do I expect one. I just want her to know and to think.<P>Love, Bill<P>------------------<BR>-There are none so blind as those who refuse to see!-<BR>-Stand up and do the right thing, even if your standing alone.-

Sometimes it's a comfort expressing yourself, knowing the sentiment might not be returned. Later on, you can have no doubt you did everything possible to save your marriage. A small comfort if that, for the time being. Yet the healing process will eventually allow your inner truth to surface. Then (hopefully), you can let your conscience rest.<P>Blonde philosopher,<BR>Nell

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Nell:<BR><B>Blonde philosopher,<BR>Nell</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><BR>I asked God to send me his friends....He sent you.<P>Nell, thank you so much for today. I am feeling so lonely and it's nice to know that I have a new friend.<P>God Bless You<P>Love, Bill<BR>

Bill,<P>Your letter profoundly touches me...couldn't possibly have anything to do with the fact that my name is also Lisa I could only wish to have received something like that from my ex...<P>Seriously, if this doesn't cause her to pause and think, nothing will.<P>A very beautiful letter.<P>Lisa<P>------------------<BR>I am woman...hear me roar...okay - meow...okay - purr? Hey, I'm working on it.

Darn Bill I was ifne today till I read your l;etter now this freaking keyboard is all wet again. WAY TO GO MAN FROM THE HEART<P>------------------<BR>If you are living in the problem then you are not part of the solution!<P>I CAN'T<BR>HE CAN<BR>I THINK I WILL LET HIM

Thanks to all for the kind words and the help with this letter. This letter is more for me than for my wife. I will give it to her tom. when I pick up the girls. What an anniviversary. <P>Love, Bill

As an often lurker, your letter is forcing me to post. I do not know you nor your wife, but your letter sure did make the tears fall. Your a special person, and I can "feel" you love for your wife through that letter. Not only love, but the depth of your feelings. Thank you for sharing...