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#691797 05/25/01 09:38 PM
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I just received a call from someone who knows all about my WH OW, my WH had told me that she had moved out of town. I found out the reason. She was arrested for solicitation and was told to leave town as she already has a long police record. I am just sick, sick, sick. My husband is a policeman and teaches in the law enforcement academy and this is the person that has ruined his life and his family's life over. I am so upset that my kids will find out and so embarassed. No wonder he is in hiding and won't talk to me. He needs someone to talk to and some intense counseling as this is so against anything that he would have ever gotten into. Have any suggestions of how to communicate with him?

#691798 05/25/01 09:55 PM
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I don't have any suggestions but to be honest with him that you know.

#691799 05/25/01 11:08 PM
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Oh my goodness.....<P>just when I think I've heard just about everything, something else takes the cake.<P>And he's a policeman? Where is the man's head?<P>I don't know what to say, or think.<P>As Erebus said, be honest and let him know you know, but at the appropriate time. From long long experience, of doing everything WRONG, take it gently and slowly.<P>I know all you probably want to do is yell and scream and get some answers. But bear in mind you probably won't get them. How can a policeman get attached to someone who solicits?? Who knows how they can ever feel anything for the types of OW they go for. (my ex's OW was a fruitloop, a complete nutter. He even admits that now.)<P>But at the time, she gave him what I didn't or couldn't. I don't mean just sexually, but I think in my case she put him up on a pedestal. She made him feel like a god. And that must be such a good feeling to them when things are not going too well at home. And therein lies the attraction. Someone is making them feel wonderful. And they are too blinded to see that it won't last.<P>I guess your best bet is to be gentle and kind (try try and try some more!!) and let him do what it is that he has to. If he's this far in, he needs to get it out of his system. And while he's doing that, you take the time to decide for yourself whether what you had is worth fighting for. And only you can make that choice.<P>I wish I had more time to talk to you, I feel so bad for you. Keep hanging on, and always remember, you are wonderful. You don't deserve this.<P>I'll be back Wednesday and I'll follow up then<P>take care of you, and do something nice for you<P>hugs<P>JO


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