hello all!<BR>well, i came across this website about 4-5 days ago, looking through a bunch of divorce sites, and marriage counseling sites, and was much relieved to find someplace devoted to saving marriages! actually, i didn't really understand what was happening to me until i read some parts of the infedelity information, and it seemed to apply perfectly. i have read about 3/4 of SAA as of yet. believing that this is what has happened, has really allowed me to calm down, read a number of posts and responses, and learn everything i can on how to deal with it, so thank you!!!<P>well, my situation: i am in a very young marriage, 8 months, i am 27 and my wife is 28, and we have been through some intense times in that period, although we did live together for about 2 1/2 years prior, with a 1 year engagement. anyway, my wife and i were living with my wife's grandmother for about 4 months after getting married, while we were remodeling my wife's house - purchased just before the wedding. -i put waaaay to much time into the house, and really couldn't understand why she kept telling me how everything i did was wrong, and the more she complained to me about how i made her feel, i quit doing anything that she had ever complained about, quit seeing all of my friends, and just worked as hard as i could to move in to the house as soon as i could. i also distanced myself from her because i never felt that i was doing anything wrong. certainly nothing any different that she was doing. (going to happy hour with friends, co-workers, going to her job while she was working, which made her upset that i expected her to wait on me, etc.)<P>and i am beginning to understand that i didn't know what her EN were, how to meet them, or understand her reaction to me... but somewhere in those months, i think is when a relationship with her OM developed into a physical one. when we finally moved into the mostly completed house, she went out every night with her friends - sometimes to her friend's house till 4-5am, while i stayed home and worked on the house. i never checked up on her stories. two weeks after moving in, she said that she wasn't happy, that she was going to live at her parents, that i was to stop working on her house, and that she needing to 'figure things out'. she has exhibited almost all of the signs of a PA, but not admitted it. but now, she can't stand to talk to me, is filing for divorce, and has said that she will sue me for alimony if i don't just move out.<P>I have contacted an attorney, and i know that she can't really force me- but i can see it getting to be a real battle, and extremely bad for her emotionally. i've pressed for counseling for the last 3 days, but she won't go unless i get out of her house, so that she can get back to normal.<P>but my question is - i feel that i'm at the point where a Plan A is not really not going to work, and that probably Plan B is the only chance that i could have, which would mean move out. - i am also to the point where i'm really not in love with her, but its my commitment to marriage that i feel bound to. and also all of my friends and family are telling me to get the divorce and move on. i am questioning the potential that i saw in the two of us, as well as really any hope that it might turn around.<P>i feel that i do need to confirm the A, but my hands are being tied daily. does anyone have any suggestions?
