I'm a newbie here but hoping you can give me some thoughts.<P>I did a pretty good job screwing up my marriage, live and learn huh? Hindsight is 20/20 and I wish I knew then what I know now. I dated a couple of guys here and there, but about a year after my marriage breakup and a long time of self-introspection I met a wonderful man.<P>We've been seeing each other for over a year now. It's a long distance relationship but somehow we've managed to spend a good deal of time with each other peppered with long phone calls in between. <P>He's my best friend, something I never had in my marriage and we really enjoy each other's company. But it is getting to the stage where maintaining a relationship over distance is becoming too difficult. So now we're getting to that stage of trying to join up physically where he will move to my town. He has a lot to sacrifice, distance from his family, his job etc and honestly I don't feel like a live-in relationship is the right thing for either of us, or my children.<P>But how do you know it is right to get married again? I'm not sure whether my ambivalence about remarriage is because of the past hurts or whether nothing seems guaranteed. What if I screw up again, not the same mistakes but different mistakes just as bad. I really don't want to go down the divorce road again. Maybe I should have had a few years on my own, but circumstances had it that he came into my life at this point in time. I'm not sure if I should be giving someone so wonderful up because the timing wasn't ideal. You know what I mean?<P>

You could read, "Are You The One For Me" by: Barbara DeAngelis. Does hs meet all of you specifics of what your looking for? It takes a while to really know someone. The mistakes we make, no one may like, but it is part of the growing process and finding out and learning from those mistakes. "In The Meantime" by:Iyanla Vanzant. She talks about how things may look good, feel good, and even smell good, but is does not mean it's good. You don't need to rush, you have the power to slow it down and communicate your feelings. Im Barb's book she has a guide of steps to take. Check it out. A good guy would understand and work through whatever with you. Hope this is helpful...<P>Sincerely <P>C<BR>