Hi I am new to this bulletin board thing so if I break an unwritten codes of politeness please let me know and don't be offended. I have been married for 1 year and 5mths. This is my first marriage and I am 20. I have been with my husband since I was 15. We were high school sweethearts and I have only been with my husband sexually. There has never been another. I gave up Drum and Bugle corp to be with him and I gave up college to marry him. Three months after we got married I got pregnant and we have a 5 month old beautiful baby girl. Our finances suck and we are on the verge of bankruptcy.He works second and I raise my daughter. He gets home between 11 and 12 and sleeps until 1 the next day and then leaves for work at 2or 3. He doesnot spend time with our baby nad he does nothing around the house. If I ask him to do anything I get cussed out and called a *****. He tries to pick fights in front of our daughter and he is just no fun to be around to say the least. I have tried to do everything to fix our marriage. In the process I tried the Bible and found God and his saving grace. He did not. Boy did this seet the fire a blazing. He is 300x worse now and tries to keep me from going to church. I told him that we can get counseling or he can join the air national gaurd and meanwhile I am making the preparations to be able to survive on my own. The only time he acts decent is when he wants a piece. He has made no move to better anything. He just doesn't care. He is a manager at Food Lion and one of his cashiers got into it with astaker last night. he came home and before he even said hey he called wprk to check on the girl. Then he drank a beer told me the story about work and went to bed. In his spare time he looks at porn on the net goes to chaty room as a single 20 year old in search pf nude pics from our local area and watches tv. None of this has anything to do with our marriage or daughter. He cares more for his teenage cashiers than me or the future of or marriage. What do I need to do? Any suggestions are welcome. Thank you.

Oh boy. Sorry, you must feel very fustrated and alone.First I want to tell you I was 19 and in your shoes. It looks to me like you gave up who you were for someone else.You lost who you are. I also found God and got mistreated as well. Because your going ahead in your growing as a seperate person he most likley hates that.You are doing what is best for you,keep going.Maybe you can get some counseling at a church and some support their.I feel like I am talking to myself this is so much like me 24 years ago. My first H also had a porn addiction, is what I like to call it.Was any of your parents or grandparents addicted to Alcohol or Drugs. Learn as much as you can about yourself, your mind is like a VCR and plays only in what it has seen, unless you put new things in it, it keeps playing. I took all kinds of workshops when I got involved with a church and they were all free, Look in the paper for free support groups. It's not anything you have done or do, each of us has disfunctions and if we don't face them they stay the same. You can only take care of you and that precious little girl.I thought at 19 I had all the answers and I did find my own way, but I am very proud of your courage and dtermination to search for yourself. You will be in my prayers. You could look up co-depenendents in internet. It's ok to co-dependent somewhat in your marriage, but not to the point of total giving up you safety or sanity.<P><BR>Sincerely <BR>C

Thank you C your adivce seems very sound. I just feel like I want to snap my fingers and make him disappear.

Your feelings are normal. You spend all this time learning and growing and trying to be a good mom to your daughter and you feel all alone. I fully understand. Please Hang in and just work on you. Psalm 139 and 77 are comforting.Keep your chin up I know you can!!!!!!! See Ya<P>Sincerely <BR>C

Thanks<BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by clc58:<BR><B>Your feelings are normal. You spend all this time learning and growing and trying to be a good mom to your daughter and you feel all alone. I fully understand. Please Hang in and just work on you. Psalm 139 and 77 are comforting.Keep your chin up I know you can!!!!!!! See Ya<P>Sincerely <BR>C</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

Just wanted to say Hi. Hope your doing better. I am headed to a spiritual retreat, all women and I will keep you in our prayers,as well as your H. I work for 3 days then leave for Cailf., to work out with Cory Everson for 4 days. She will kick my but I am sure. Hang in their.....Let me know whats happening.Sincerely C