Does anyone else have a spouse who prefers his family to you? I am just about to the breaking point. I've been trying to decide all day whether or not to go and file for divorce. Last night he and I got into a fight which escalated into a shoving match. His sisters and niece treat me like something they found on the bottom of their shoe and he always sides with them. He had never once, in the almost 6 years we've been together taken my side or told them to lay off. Is it asking too much for me to want to be higher on my h's list of priorities? Saturday my mother had the kids and he and I were just getting ready to walk out the door to go out for the night. His sister called and wanted to visit. He begrudgingly told her that we were leaving. I could tell he was mad about it, but I didn't say anything. Last night he said "when my sister wants to visit, she should be able to visit. I wanted to see her and the girls." He said the only reason he went ahead to town with me was because he didn't want to hear me ***** about it, and that if he'd had it his way he would've told her to come ahead over. I'm really tired of playing second fiddle to his sisters and his niece. I have two small children and I'm a stay-at-home mom. If we divorced I don't know how I would be able to take care of the kids and myself. And then there's the worry that he would somehow get full custody and I would never see my kids again. I don't want to get divorced, but, because of his prefering his family to me, I don't think I even love him anymore. I don't know what to do! HELP, PLEASE!!!!<P>miserable

Hi Miserable,<P>I don't know what to tell you about your inlaws. You clearly have a big problem there. <P>What I can tell you though is that information and knowledge is power. If you are staying in your marriage solely because of your fears, you should at least educate yourself as to the reality of what divorce would mean. If you are a good mom and a stay at home mom, there's little chance that a judge will take your children away from you.<P>There's some good sites on the net, just do a quick search for divorce laws in your state. You'll most likely find a number of FAQs that will tell you what to expect.<P>Then at least, if you decide to stay in your marriage, you will be doing it because you choose to, rather than because you feel forced to out of fear.<P>Can you get yourself into counseling? It might be good to talk your situation over in detail with a counselor, and get some focus on how you might affect good changes into your marriage.<P>Good luck!!<P>--BR