My wife of 12 years informed me of her intention to leave our relationship Jan 31st of this year. Since sometime in nov. '00 she has been emotionally involved with a co-worker.<BR>She started seeing a counselor sometime around then in an effort to address a very long history of running from problems/ the grass is always greener/ fear of intimacy. I'm her third husband.We have a 7 yr. old son that we both adore.We started seeing a counselor mid March.She has come back to me emotionally several times but can never seem to stay involved in the rebuilding process. She even made the attempt to cut off all contact w/ the other but working together makes it impossible. I was told last night that she had signed "the papers" and i could pick them up or they would be delivered via sheriff today. After a short, civil discussion as to the logistics of what to tell our son. After giving her a poem i wote yesterday asking her "what if...." we had a very healthy conversation about my emotional withdrawl from our relationship and her fear of intimacy. We even ordered a book on the subject @1 in the morning from amazon. When i called today to ask her where i could pick-upo "the papers" she said "not yet, there's something i want to talk to you about tonight.I hurt so badly, and not so much for me, as to know that she is perpetuating her cycle of running, yet has a desire to figure out a cure, just not with the one who knows her better than anyone on the face of this earth. Help!

I really don't know what to say. I also had a fear of being close to anyone. I learned that behavior from my father, he was an entertainer and alcoholic. I also ran from things. I met a co-worker who saw this in me and faught with me to stay and fight through it. I read lots of books, but I had to decide to change it and practice how. That person was sent in my life as a friend and I also had to work through that as well, because he was a male. I don't run much, I do have to talk myself through things and I wanted to work on my marriage but my H runs from himself...... Your in my thoughts and prayers.<BR>Sincerely C